Jack the Doctor
by evilwriter37
Summary: Vastra and Jenny are swarmed with murder investigations in the year 1888. Is the criminal merely an unassuming citizen, or could it be somebody they know?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: The story's based on a theory that I've had for quite a while now. Some of you may disagree with it when you figure out what I'm up to, and some of you might think it makes sense. Whether or not you agree with this idea, I hope you enjoy my writing nonetheless. **

* * *

Madame Vastra could smell the blood even through her veil. That smell always brought her an internal argument. She liked the smell, but it depended where it was coming from. It was okay to like it if it was coming from a glass in the privacy of her home. Here, in the backstreets of London, it was definitely not okay.

"Jenny! I found something!"

"What is it?" Light footsteps sounded behind her and then her wife was next to her.

"I smell blood." She beckoned her forward with a green-scaled hand and took a turn down another alley. The scent hit her like a wall; it was nearly overwhelming, and it was evident why. Vastra rushed over to the body that lay in the packed dirt among piles of rubbish, lifting her veil to get a better look. Jenny was behind her by the time she was kneeling next to the body. Her human wife looked appalled.

"A murder?" she asked. "Or is she still alive?"

"I'm afraid not." Vastra pulled on the woman's arm and flipped her onto her back, revealing various stab wounds and a bloody dress that was unlaced in the front. The woman was clearly dead. No human would be able to survive such bodily desecration.

"We'll have to contact the inspector," Jenny said, her voice calm, hiding her emotions. "This is the third one this month. A woman every week."

Vastra frowned as she continued inspecting the body. She didn't care that there was blood seeping into her dress, (it could be easily replaced.) Thoughts ran through her head as her eyes took in the carnage. Who? Why? When? She needed a suspect, a motive. She wanted to understand this man and his pattern. It couldn't be anyone other than a man who had committed these murders, and she was sure it was the same man each time. It was evident by the stab wounds and the other marks on the bodies.

"Do you think we should ask him for help?" Jenny asked quietly. She knew that Vastra had mostly given up on the idea.

She sighed heavily and stood, rearranging her skirts. "Jenny, dear, he doesn't even become involved in something extremely important. He would see this investigation as a menial and worthless task."

"Sorry. Just had to ask. So, time to go get the inspector?"

"I suppose it is." Her tone was bitter. Vastra was really not in the mood for any of this. With these murders and other smaller cases, she had been getting little rest and it was already late into the night. The inspector wouldn't be happy about being woken at this hour.

Jenny frowned at her tone, seeming to understand her thoughts.

"We'll probably get some privacy later," she assured her. "I could send Strax on some fantasized mission to get him out of the house."

"That would be lovely, Jenny, but we do not have time for such thoughts right now." Vastra replaced her veil over her reptilian face and led the way out of the alley, Jenny close behind.

"I know, ma'am. Sorry."

Their carriage awaited them at the opening to another alley. Thankfully, Strax was still present in the driving seat, though he looked extremely bored. He kept frowning and looking like he was going to snap insults at the horse.

"Find anything, Madame Vastra?" he called out when he saw them. His eyes lit up with battle rage and excitement. He was certainly an interesting one to have as a butler.

"Yes, Strax, and we must go to the inspector at once," Vastra stated, opening the door to the carriage. "Do be careful driving. The roads are rather wet."

"Of course, ma'am. That lad following you, who is he?"

Vastra climbed into the carriage with a roll of her eyes and moved over so Jenny could fit with her on the plush velvet seat.

"Jenny. Can't you remember anything?"

"Right. Sorry. The inspector's office it is."

As soon as the door was closed, he snapped the reins and they began to speed through the streets. Apparently he hadn't seen her warning as necessary.

London was an eerie place late at night, dark and cold and empty, all the lights turned out. There were already wisps of the usual, heavy fog in the air. It was no surprise that murders happened at this time.

"Do you think he'll be awake?" Jenny asked. "The inspector?" She was looking idly out the window, brown hair thrown over one shoulder. She was shivering slightly from the chill and damp air.

Vastra wrapped a comforting arm around her and pulled her close. Jenny looked at her with a smile, that freckle that she loved so much standing out above her lip.

"I'm sure he'll be awake for us, dear." She giggled a little. "Unless he thinks he's still dreaming. I find that to be more than likely."

Jenny laughed too. "Should his dream be a nightmare or a nice one?"

The joke was lost on Vastra due to the current situation. She just frowned and turned her gaze to the window. The fog outside was thickening, and the rolling and rocking of the carriage was finally starting to slow down. Maybe Strax was beginning to see some sense.

"I'm afraid it's already a nightmare."

Suddenly, the carriage lurched forward violently, picking up speed at an alarming rate. Jenny and Vastra were almost thrown to the opposite side, and the reptilian woman's veil was thrown from her head.

"Strax!" Vastra called out, trying to right herself. "What are you doing?!"

"I saw someone!" his shout came back. The carriage careened around a corner and Vastra was thrown into Jenny, which crushed her poor wife against the door. They were thrown back against the seat as the carriage stopped.

"Ma'am, he's just standing there!"

Grumbling to herself, Vastra helped Jenny up and then left the carriage, curious to see what this was all about. She gave a gasp as she stepped out into the ever-thickening fog. About a dozen feet away from the carriage was the figure of a man in a top hat. She couldn't make out any features in the darkness; he nearly looked like just a shadow.

"Who are you?" she asked, voice ringing in the still air. She took a few steps closer. The man didn't move.

Jenny had climbed out of the carriage and was now standing beside her, looking at the silhouette quizzically.

"What are you doin' out so late?" she asked. She began to walk further, but Vastra stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. Something smelled wrong about this man: dangerous and sharp, like blood. Her breath caught in her throat as the realization came to her.

"Jenny," she whispered, leaning down to reach her ear. "I think that may be the murderer."

And just like that, as if he had heard them, the man took off, disappearing into the fog. With an angry hiss, Madame Vastra instantly gave chase. She inwardly cursed her dress for nearly tripping her up. She would have worn something more practical if she had expected something like this.

It was hard to see the man in the darkness, but she could still catch his scent and hear his footsteps. She had the long legs and agility of her race, but he was fast, somehow much faster than she was. They careened around corners and darted through alleyways, adrenaline spiking between them. Vastra could nearly smell his fear of being caught.

Her heart beat loud in her head and her throat burned as the chase continued. It wasn't often that someone had outrun her. Determined to catch him, her pride wounded, she picked up a burst of speed. She was getting closer. She could hear his gasps for breath, his heart beating frantically…

And then he was gone. All trace of him suddenly vanished. Frustrated, Vastra spun in a circle, hissing menacingly, fearing some sort of attack. None came.

She would have stomped her foot in frustration if it wasn't beneath her. How could his scent have just suddenly vanished as if he hadn't even been there?

Vastra whipped around at the sound of running footsteps, teeth bared, ready for battle. She calmed when she realized it was only Jenny, who must have been following her throughout the chase. Her wife scanned the area too, looking just as confused as she felt.

"Where did he go? He couldn't have just disappeared!" Her voice was heavy with frustration.

"That's exactly what he did," Vastra said, her breathing beginning to regulate, though she was still as tense as ever.

"But, we saw him…" Jenny trailed off, seemingly at a loss for words. She looked to Vastra as if she would have an answer. The only response she could give was a shake of her head.

Jenny growled in frustration. "I swear, if this night gets any more wacky, I'm going to ask Strax to run me over with that carriage!" She spun around and began to head back the way she came, leaving Vastra lingering in the alley. She did another check of her senses, but all she smelled was dirt and stone, moisture and refuse, what an alley would usually smell like. There was no trace of the man who had smelled of blood.

The shame of failure digging in her chest, Vastra began to head back to the carriage.

* * *

Jenny was left to explain things to the inspector as Vastra angrily wore down the carpet in his study. Her pacing was becoming rather annoying, but she was trying to ignore it.

"You believe that you had an encounter with the murderer?" the inspector asked. He was wearing a ruffled nightshirt and there were dark circles under his eyes. If he had hair it would have been ruffled from sleep. He adjusted his glasses on his nose.

"Yes," Jenny responded. "He was close to where the body had been found and he fled when he saw us."

"Did he run immediately?"

"No. Only after we addressed him."

Jenny was glad that the man didn't look suspicious of this information. He didn't have any reason to be. The only reason he had been finding criminals lately was because of her and Vastra's efforts. He had already sent out a team of policemen with Strax to retrieve the body.

"And he got away!" Vastra suddenly snapped, turning sharply to face the inspector, feet stilling on the floor. "How did he get away from me?!"

Jenny cautiously went up to her and consolingly wrapped an arm around her waist, whispering words that were only meant for her.

"Dear, it's alright. I know how quick you are." She couldn't help giving her lizard wife a teasing smile. She often wondered how she had fallen in love with such a creature. She found her appearance exotic and alluring, and her personality even more so. Men had never been to her liking, and she had been shunned by her family once it had been discovered. She had first met Vastra on what she considered the worst night of her life, Vastra and _him._ She remembered screaming and blood, the horror of her body being violated, and then she saw the faces of her rescuers. He had seemed like some sort of demon that was only saving her for his own purposes, a demon that could smile and laugh and act like a child. Vastra, on the other hand, had seemed like an angel. Who else was she supposed to fall in love with?

"Don't try to humor me, Jenny." Vastra's tone was bitter. "I wasn't quick enough."

"I'm sure he was just a fast runner," the inspector said, seeming a bit out of place now.

Vastra gave a _hmph _with a curl of her lip. "Someone would have to be an Olympic runner to outrun me." Those being her last words, she brushed Jenny's arm aside, and left the room.

"Sorry about her," Jenny apologized. She wasn't in the least embarrassed by her wife's actions, but the inspector looked like he expected her to be. "Hurt pride and all. We'll see you after we all get some sleep?"

"Oh, yes, of course." The man looked down at his desk, finger tapping idly. "Just wondering where that man could have gone off to. I don't feel comfortable with him out there."

"He's only been killing women, sir," Jenny assured him. "After copulating with them. Unless you grow breasts, I doubt you'll be a target." Annoyed and tired, she left to go find her wife.

* * *

He prowled through the shadows and the fog as if they were personal friends, knowing that it would protect him from watchful eyes. He had been close to getting caught that time. He should have expected it, should have gotten out of there sooner. At least the only thing they would have been able to see of him was a dark figure. He almost laughed to himself. Dark? Yes, he was dark. He was darkness, one with the night, his favorite time of all. One could do so many things in the night without those things being discovered until morning. It was wonderful how easily the whole city could be thrown into a fright.

_He strikes at night. Don't go out._

That's what a recent news headline had said. It made him laugh on the inside. He chose his victims _long _before the murder, long before night fell. It wouldn't matter if the doors were locked if you were locked inside with him.


	2. Chapter 2

Jenny woke to the sensation of Vastra's lips on her neck. She smiled sleepily and cuddled closer to her, not minding the coolness of her touch.

"Sleep well, darling?" came her voice in her ear.

"Didn't dream of any murderers, if that's what you want to know," she replied, content in her wife's arms. It felt like nothing could hurt her while she was like this.

The moment was interrupted by loud rapping on the bedroom door. Vastra, more awake than Jenny, gave a frustrated sigh and rose to get it, pulling on a robe as she did.

"What is it, Strax?"

"The _Times, _madame." There was a rustling of paper.

"Strax, if you interrupted just because of the newspaper…" Vastra's tone was murderous, and the unspoken threat was obvious.

"It's important, madame. I know it's here somewhere. Hold on a moment."

Curious, Jenny reached for the robe she usually kept near the bed, but grumbled in annoyance when she realized it wasn't there. She settled for sitting up and pulling the blankets around her. It wouldn't do for their Sontaran butler to see her naked. At the moment he was in the doorway fumbling with a clump of newspaper. Vastra was tapping her foot impatiently, arms crossed. Jenny knew that a vicious snarl must be rising in her throat.

"Ah, here it is ma'am," Strax finally said, holding up a sheet from the dismembered newspaper. "I believe you'll find this to be of utmost importance."

Vastra's foot-tapping stopped, but the rest of her figure didn't relax.

"What is this?!" Before Jenny could ask about it, she ran over to her and shoved the newspaper in her face. Jenny blinked in surprise at the bold letters suddenly pressed against her nose, trying to adjust her vision to read it.

"Notorious murderer caught and being held by police," she read out loud. Now she could understand Vastra's surprise. The police felt as if they had caught the man, but they had notified the papers before them?

"It's an outrage!" Vastra cried, right as Jenny thought it. The two were usually very in sync. It helped that sometimes they even had a telepathic link put in place by Vastra.

"I agree, sir," Strax said, stomping over. Jenny held the blankets closer around her, feeling very uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"Strax, get the carriage ready," Vastra ordered, completely ignoring his mistake. It happened quite frequently and it was best to overlook it. "Jenny and I will be down shortly."

The Sontaran gave a nod that included his shoulders, seeing as he didn't really have any neck to speak of. And then he left, closing the door behind him.

"Do you think they really caught him?" Jenny asked, finally getting out of the bed. She felt much better now that it was just her and her wife. It most definitely didn't matter if _she _saw her naked.

"I doubt it, my dear," Vastra said, opening one of the wardrobes in the room. Her robe was already hanging nearby, the sun coming in from the lace curtains showing off her green-scaled skin marvelously. Jenny couldn't help gawking at her beauty: her majestic height, her tones muscles, the curve of her hips… She often wondered how she must look to her. Alien? Or was she now used to the appearance of humans?

Vastra turned around, holding a dress up to her frame, a smile on her lips. "Staring at me again? Make your eyes useful. How does this look?"

"Splendid if we were going to a dinner party," Jenny put in, coming over. "We're only going to see the inspector."

"And then we're going out for breakfast." She gave a twirl while holding the dress. "_Now _how does it look?"

Jenny smiled. "Fantastic, but… we never go out to eat."

"Well, I thought that if I'm looking into these murders, perhaps I should be seen in public more often. Don't want to seem as shifty as the killer himself, now do I?"

"Of course not, just… people stare."

"And you don't?"

"I'm staring because you're beautiful," Jenny explained, coming up to her as Vastra lowered the dress. "I just don't like it when people judge you."

"Well, they're too low to see past my appearance then," she replied, not seeming in the least bit bothered. Was she ever bothered by the way people looked at her? She just smiled at Jenny, as if hoping that she had seen the compliment in the words.

"They must be stupid too."

"And why is that?"

"Because they can't see how wonderful you are." Jenny stood on the tips of her toes and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Now come on. We have to go see who the police have really caught."

* * *

The Doctor found himself strolling through the damp streets of London reading the newspaper. The air smelled of last night's rain and fog, the air chill with autumn. The headline on the front page was absolutely ridiculous. The murderer caught? He shook his head and chuckled a little to himself. The police could never get anything done around here, nevermind catch a murderer who had thus far eluded them.

Perhaps reading the newspaper while walking wasn't a very good idea. Next moment, he was flat on his back on the cobblestone, the wind knocked out of him, the scent of horse completely invading his nose. He faintly registered pain, but was too shocked to understand where it was coming from.

"Oh no!" A woman's voice came. He looked around and found someone scrambling to kneel next to him, brushing her blonde hair out of her face. "Sir, I am so sorry. My driver didn't see you. You just walked right into the street. Are you hurt?"

"Not quite sure right now. Sorry." That was the only answer he could give. His lungs were finally starting to fill with ear again.

"Here. Let me help you up." The woman slid her hands under his back and together they managed to get him into a sitting position. He finally got a good chance to look at her. She had beautiful gray eyes and a small nose, underneath which sat rather round lips that he suddenly got curious about. Then the next instant he didn't care anymore. Why should this human mean anything to him? She was going to die anyway?

"Thank you." He pushed himself to his feet with a grunt, his head throbbing. With no form of goodbye, he turned to walk away.

"Hold on a moment." He heard the woman's footsteps coming after him. "Sir, are you alright?"

The Doctor spun around, lip curled in a sneer. "No, I'm not, but there's nothing you can do about it, so you might as well just leave." He started to turn again, but her hand touched his shoulder. The contact made him feel as if he was dying on the inside. He shouldn't care, didn't want to, yet her touch felt so warm and… human.

"Are you sure, sir?" Her eyes sparkled as if there was some hidden meaning to her words. The Doctor, noticed right away. He had stopped pretending he was oblivious to such things. He had stopped hiding his true nature and trying to appear innocent. Pretending he was good had done nothing to save his best friends, leaving completely alone. Isolation was his worst enemy and his best friend, but certainly he could let this human girl in for a little while.

"Well, now that you mention it-" He slung an arm around her and she really didn't seem to mind. "I know this wonderful place that we could go to for breakfast, if your driver doesn't terribly mind."

"Oh, he won't mind at all, sir."

As they headed back to the carriage, the Doctor questioned what he was up to for what felt like the millionth time, the newspaper with its crazy headline forgotten in the street.

* * *

"What's your name?" Vastra asked the man in front of her, studying him intently. He had dark hair that climbed down into sideburns, a thick mustache, and small eyes that peered out at her from behind spectacles.

"Aaron Kosminski." He had a heavy foreign accent.

"Polish?" Jenny asked. She stood next to her in the interrogation room. There was a wooden table between them and the man, who had been handcuffed to the wooden chair he was sitting in. He hardly seemed fazed, only a little anxious.

"Yes. Just got off the boat a few months ago. Lovely place, England."

"Where were you last night, Mr. Kosminski?" Vastra asked, wanting to get straight to the point.

"I was with some of my friends at the Rose and Crown. Just having a drink, you see."

"And would these _friends _be able to vouch for you?" Vastra said the word with distaste. If this man was the murderer, he couldn't really have any friends. His composure was astounding though. He was just sitting there, answering his questions evenly, only a little bit tense. She had seen other humans in that chair, and most were a complete mess, either angry or terrified, both false suspects and the real criminals. People just didn't like being caught.

"Yes, they would ma'am, but there wouldn't be any reason to ask them. I'm not a killer."

"But the police think you are."

"I was just heading home late and they grabbed me. They seemed more shaken than I was, really."

Vastra looked deeply into his eyes. They were ordinary eyes. She had seen the eyes of many criminals: killers, thieves, arsonists, rapists… This man did not have those eyes. His eyes had a soul behind them.

"I will tell the police to let you go, Mr. Kosminski. I'm sorry that you were put through this. I'm hoping that the papers didn't release your name."

"It's in the papers ma'am?" _Now _he looked worried.

"Don't worry. Doesn't say anything about you," Jenny assured him, sliding the paper across the table towards him so he could read it. "You won't have to worry about being stoned in the street."

Kosminski gave a laugh that sounded like a release of tension, his eyes scanning the page. Madame Vastra had no doubts that this man was perfectly safe. She could practically smell the honesty on him. It helped that lying usually created some sort of smell in humans, sweat and chemicals on their skin that her nose could easily detect. This man didn't have the smell of a liar.

* * *

"Why don't you come home with me?"

The Doctor choked on his tea and hastily put the cup down to avoid spilling it, coughing with his other hand over his mouth. The woman, (her name was Mary Ann,) looked concerned.

"Sorry, John. Was that too abrupt?"

The Doctor finally managed to clear his throat. He brought his hand down to straighten the bow tie that wasn't there, then let it drop to the table, hoping she hadn't noticed the strange action.

"Maybe a little. Would there be anyone that would mind if I did?"

"No. I live on my own with my maid. The carriage was only hired for this morning."

"I didn't interrupt you from something important, did I?"

Mary Ann smiled, her gray eyes sparkling, her high cheekbones standing out. "Doesn't really matter now, does it? Besides, if I had been interrupted, maybe you were more important.'

The Doctor felt himself blushing. A woman was flirting with him and he hadn't even thought to return the favor. Why was he letting himself have these feelings? Feelings weren't safe. If he felt something, it would only end up hurting him in the end.

"You were definitely a surprise in my morning." He wasn't quite sure how to return the compliment just yet. Maybe a chance would come up if they continued conversation.

"Were _you _going anywhere?"

"No. Just on a morning stroll." The Doctor picked up his top hat from where it sat on the seat beside him. "Now, what did you say about going to your house?"


	3. Chapter 3

Night fell across London, bringing a palpable tension with it. Usually there were still people out and about, but now. Everyone feared death.

He actually found it rather comical. So far, their efforts to catch him had been useless, though the paper tried to claim otherwise. Tomorrow morning it would no doubt say that the capture had been false, after the headline of the new murder. Of course he was going to kill again, mostly just to taunt them and continue this little game. So many of the people in the city just made fantastic prey: How could he resist?

"I don't think it's safe to go out," she said, standing in the doorway of the house, looking up and down the darkening street. "What if we're attacked?"

"Then I'll protect you," he replied with a smile. He offered his hand. "Come on."

She took it and came closer, closing the door behind her. He raised his eyebrows at that.

"Not going to lock it?"

"My maid will do it."

He smiled again. "So, let's not spend anymore time here." He pulled her close to him, starting to lead the way down the street. "We have a dinner reservation to keep."

"Oh! I didn't know you did that!" She cuddled up to him with an arm around him. "You're ever so romantic!"

He smiled, glad that she was appreciating his efforts. "Well, I try. And then I have a lovely surprise for you after."

"And I have to wait till after dinner?" She pouted at him, and he wanted to steal another kiss from those lips like he had been doing most of the day.

"Of course." He winked at her. "Wouldn't want to ruin your appetite."

_Because you can't eat when you're dead. _The thought almost made him laugh, but he kept the joke to himself. He felt that she wouldn't really appreciate it.

"Oh? What kind of surprise is it?"

"No hints, darling, but it will be splendid."

_Yes, it certainly will be._

* * *

The front page of the newspaper was absolutely horrific. It broadcasted another murder, along with a graphic, black and white photo of the body. Beneath that was a letter that had arrived at the police station and been put quickly into publishing. The article itself was rushed as well, the journalists trying to get it out by the morning after. The letter was supposedly written by the killer himself, and it had first thought to been written in blood, but that was soon discovered to be red ink. Jenny felt a chill run through her as she read all of this yet again, the carriage rolling and bumping along the cobblestone streets, Vastra sitting next to her and peering out the window.

"This is horrible!" Jenny exclaimed. "He thinks it's all funny!"

"Well, killers aren't known for their sanity," Vastra said, still looking idly out the window. Jenny could tell by the curve of her lips that it disgusted her as well. "Though I've never heard of someone considering it a game."

"Do you think it's really from him?"

"I'm not sure, dear. We'll have to wait and see."

Jenny read it _again, _the words frightening her. Sometimes she wondered why she followed her wife into all this trouble. It brought back terrible memories that often gave her nightmares and made her wake trembling and crying at night. But it was also in those moments when she remembered why she did this. It was because she never wanted to feel like that again, so weak and hopeless. She wanted to make the city safer for people that might not have a rescuer or protector, who would only be left to the mercy of cruel people. But this man, he didn't seem to be like other criminals that she had investigated before. He was scary, more threatening, somehow. Maybe it was added to by the words that were now spread all over London, bringing hysteria to the morning.

_Dear Boss,_

_I keep on hearing the police have caught me but they won't fix me just yet. I have laughed when they look so clever and talk about being on the right track. That joke about Leather Apron gave me real fits. I am down on whores and I shan't quit ripping them till I do get buckled. Grand work the last job was. I gave the lady no time to squeal. How can they catch me now? I love my work and want to start again. You will soon hear of me with my funny little games. I saved some of the proper red stuff in a ginger beer bottle over the last job to write with but it went thick like glue and I can't use it. Red ink is fit enough I hope ha. ha. The next job I do I shall clip the lady's ears off and send to the police officers just for jolly, wouldn't you? Keep this letter back till I do a bit more work, then give it out straight. My knife's so nice and sharp I want to get to work right away if I get a chance. Good Luck._

_Yours truly_

_Jack the Ripper_

_Don't mind me giving the trade name_

_PS Wasn't good enough to post this before I got all the red ink off my hands. Curse it. No luck yet. They say I'm a doctor now. ha ha_

"What do you think his name really is?" Jenny asked curiously. "Jack the Ripper must be his, uh, stage name." It made her feel uncomfortable that the killer would view it that way. This was nothing more than a bloody drama to him, and the city was his stage.

"No idea. There isn't much evidence to go by."

"I'm surprised he's so open about it."

"I suppose he probably thinks he's sharing a good joke."

"And you sure that it's a man?"

Vastra finally looked at her, face a little shocked. "Of course it's a man, Jenny."

"Why?"

"Well, all injuries on the bodies indicate that it was a man. I'm not saying I don't think a woman is likely to kill anyone." She smiled a little at her. "I'm just saying that what we can find points towards a male."

"And are we still apes?" She joked, trying to lighten the mood. She had subconsciously crumbled the newspaper into a ball as they spoke, and now it just sat uselessly in her slightly trembling hands. She was disturbed by all this, and the fact that she was disturbed bothered her. This case was resulting in a big mess of emotions that was making hard for her to work with it.

"Of course you are, though you're a very pretty one," Vastra responded, tapping her on the cheek. Jenny giggled a little.

The carriage rolled to a halt. "Ma'am, we've arrived!" Strax called from the driver's seat.

"Thank you, Strax!" Vastra and Jenny both climbed out, instantly hit with an autumn chill that made the two women pull their shawls tighter around their shoulders. "You can come with us," she told him. "Might need you."

"Of course, ma'am. I brought just the things for the job." He jumped off and began reaching under the seat, no doubt for a gun or some sort, but Vastra quickly stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"No, Strax. We won't be needing that."

"Why not? I thought we were here to confront the killer." The Sontaran looked confused and disappointed as he straightened.

"No," Jenny said, coming over. "We're here to inspect the body."

"He's dead already?! That coward! I was not able to slay him for the glory of the Sontaran Empire!"

Jenny couldn't help finding Strax's confusion amusing, while Vastra only seemed annoyed. She had always been better at dealing with Strax anyway.

"No, Strax. The body of whoever he killed last night."

"Oh. Sure I shouldn't bring anything for protection? There have been cases of reanima-"

"Come on, Strax," Jenny interrupted, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the building. Vastra joined them, seeming astounded by their butler's apparent idiocy.

The inspector greeted them in the foyer of the morgue, looking grim. A crumpled copy of the newspaper was held in his hand. He had probably wanted to see how the case was being written about.

"I would say good morning, but it really isn't one," he told them in form of a greeting. "I'm glad you could come on such short notice."

"Well, I _have _decided to take up the case, so any new development is of utmost interest to me," Vastra stated coldly. She was being rather bitter that morning, but Jenny could understand. Murder cases often made her lose her temper.

"Right, Um, follow me, please." Seeming a little flustered, the man started leading them towards a door on the right. From there, they entered an examination room, the naked, mutilated body of a woman resting on a wooden table in the middle of it. Jenny stood off to the side while her wife went straight to business, walking up to the table to examine the woman.

"What is her name?"

"Her name was Mary Ann Nichols."

"Sir, I will have to correct you on how you used the past tense," Vastra said, turning on him. Her next words were a snarl. "Whether she is dead or alive, her name is still Mary Ann Nichols."

_And this is another reason I love you so much, _Jenny thought. At times her wife could be insensitive, but there were other moments where her compassion rivaled most other's.

The man's face went white and he cleared his throat, voice quiet. "Of course, Madame Vastra. I apologize."

Seemingly pleased with his apology, Vastra went back to examining the poor woman on the table. Her breasts were completely slashed up, and her lower abdomen and thighs held many red, bloodstained stab wounds. She was so cut into, it seemed that it would be hard to determine which blow had killed her.

"Age?"

"No idea, madame. We assume she was in her late thirties."

"Time of death?"

"Some time in the night." The inspector suddenly seemed to grow uncomfortable. "It looks as if the killer probably raped her before taking her life."

That was it. Feeling as if she couldn't breathe, Jenny quickly left the room, heads turning to watch her go. She leaned against the wall to help her stand, her knees going weak. She tried to breathe, but her lungs weren't working properly, and she was left wheezing with her heart beating in panic. Tears began to run down her face, fast and unchecked.

_I can't do this. Oh god, that could have happened to me. That was almost me. Oh, someone please help me!_

Her body was reacting to her emotions in a way that made her feel like she was dying. She slumped to the floor with a loud sob, her chest aching, the sound of her heart beating loud in her ears. She didn't even hear when the door opened and someone stepped out.

"Jenny, dear? Are you alright?"

Vastra appeared in her tear-filled gaze, her dark eyes filled with concern. Jenny couldn't help nodding, because she _should _be alright. She was safe, so why was she breaking down like this?

The lizard woman knelt before her, hands firmly on her shoulders. The touch was comforting. She still couldn't breathe good though.

"Everything is alright, Jenny. You're safe. You're here with me." Jenny was completely unresponsive as Vastra's hands ran up and down her arms. She was shaking violently, and all she could think of was that horrible night.

* * *

_Jenny began to scream, but the man clamped his hand over her mouth, the other going to her hands to keep her from hitting him. She thrashed and kicked, but he wouldn't let go._

Why me? Why me? _She kept asking herself, tears running from her eyes and onto the man's fingers. She felt so violated. What made it worse was that she didn't even _like _men. It made her stomach twist and churn that one was touching her with cruel intent._

_She didn't know who he was, didn't know his name, didn't know anything about him. He had just been staying at the inn that she had started working at in order to keep her room there. She had been weary of his eyes the entire night, which followed her as if he were hungry, but she hadn't expected anything like this to happen. She had gone outside to dump the rubbish, and he had attacked her and dragged her into a deserted alleyway._

_The man removed his hand and Jenny wanted to attempt another scream, but his lips were suddenly on hers, tasting of alcohol and cigars. It made her want to be sick. She'd only ever kissed a man once, and then decided that she didn't like it, didn't find anything about them attractive at all. His beard brushing against her skin made her cry harder, emphasizing the fact that a _man _was touching her._

_She gave a pained cry as his hands began to tear at her dress as they simultaneously shoved her tightly against the wall. His fingers went everywhere they shouldn't once the top of her dress was torn apart, grasping and pinching and bruising. She whimpered and tried to shove him away. His lips were still trying to eat hers, and he wouldn't budge._

_Finally, he stopped touching her chest, but only to pin her wrists above her head with one hand, the other sliding under her skirts to pull off her knickers. For a split second, Jenny managed to get her mouth away from his, and she screamed. She absolutely refused to stop screaming. Someone had to find her. Someone had to help her. This man was about to-_

_And something shoved him away from her, a dark figure in the night. Jenny slumped against the wall, sobbing, trying to hold the front of her dress closed. The man hadn't gotten back up, looking angry. The figure appeared to be gone._

_And then they were back, two of them. Her vision was too blurred for her to identify who her rescuers were. She curled into a ball and just lay there against the stone as a fight broke out between the man and the two figures. She watched, but was unable to comprehend any of it, shock making her brain slow down and her body feel cold and numb._

_The fight was over. She could tell by the man now unconscious on the ground, and her two rescuers coming over to her. She shrank away. What if they touched her too?_

"_It's okay," a soft, feminine voice said. The figure, (that she could now tell was a woman,) knelt down beside her, the other standing off to the side, seemingly unsure of what to do. "We're not going to hurt you." She nodded her head towards the man on the ground. "You're safe now."_

"_Th-Thank you." Her lips could hardly move. How had someone so easily turned her into this pathetic, crying weakling?_

"_She might be scared that you can't see your face," the other figure said. His voice was male, and Jenny wished she could press herself through the wall. He made no move towards her though. He just stood in the shadows, and the woman stood between the two of them._

"_I don't want to frighten her."_

"_She's frightened enough as it is. Seeing her rescuer might reassure her."_

"_Would you like to see my face?" the woman asked, addressing Jenny. All she could do was nod her head._

_The figure lifted a veil, and a green, reptilian, beautiful and exotic, face stared back at her._

"_I'm Vastra."_

* * *

Jenny instantly calmed when Vastra's lips touched hers. The taste and the feeling was comfortable and familiar, reassuring. It was soft and feminine, everything she liked. She inhaled a deep breath through her nose as the kiss continued, the ache in her lungs starting to lessen.

She had stopped crying by the time her wife pulled away, her eyes still worried as she looked at her.

"Jenny?"

"Yes, I-I'm okay."

"I shouldn't have brought you with me. I'm sorry. I didn't think."

"It's okay," Jenny told her, forcing a smile. "I thought I could handle it, but I couldn't. These murders are just making me really uncomfortable."

"Do you want me to drop the case?"

Jenny shook her head. Her smile was real this time. "You don't know how to drop a case."

"I find that to be very true. Here, let me help you up." Vastra lifted her to her feet with her arms under hers. Jenny was grateful for the help, as her legs still felt weak and wobbly. "I'll have Strax take you home. You'll be alright without me?"

Jenny couldn't help rolling her eyes. "You worry too much. Of course I'll be fine." Why did she feel so tired all of a sudden? Could she have just experienced a panic attack? "Just need some rest."

Vastra smiled, her dark eyes shining a bit. "Don't worry, dear. I'll catch this man and eat him for dinner."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Warning: Very dark chapter. Contains self-harm, sexual content, and murder. Don't like, don't read. I'm not trying to get hate from this, so if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Thanks, and if you want to, enjoy!**

* * *

The Doctor paced in agitation around his console, feet shuffling the newspapers he had strewn across the floor. The only light was a faint green glow that came from the Time Rotor.

_What is wrong with you?! You just _have _to talk to people, don't you? And then you have to _like _them. And then you have to…_

The Doctor didn't finish his thoughts, just gave a yell of frustration and stamped his feet.

_I hate feeling like this!_

His emotions were a giant jumbled mess that he couldn't possibly figure out how to sort through. He hurt, he angered, he despaired. Most of all, he despised himself and everything he had done. He wanted something to drive away the pain, something that would distract him, maybe even make him laugh or enjoy himself again. He was trying, oh, but he was. His last outing in London had been fun, but he wasn't in the mood for being around people. People were too noisy and cheerful. They wouldn't understand what he was going through, wouldn't help him.

_You're such an idiot, Doctor! _He told himself. _Everything's your fault! Everything's always your fault!_

He didn't know if he was even upset about Amy and Rory anymore. It was hard to pick out the reasons for his feelings in the chaotic mess that was his mind. He'd contemplated going back to a different year to get them, but would it even work? There names were already etched in stone above where they were buried. Wouldn't that just create a bigger mess? And then it would _still _create a mess if it worked. He didn't think they would understand how he was feeling either. He didn't want people. He _hated _people.

That made a painful memory resurface, of his first conversation with little Amelia Pond.

"_Am I people? Do I even look like people?"_

_Of course you do, stupid. You're a person, right? A living thing?_

But living and breathing didn't always make someone a person. A monster could live and breathe just as well as regular people could.

_And that's what I am._

The Doctor sat down heavily in the jump seat that he kept near the console, sagging his head in his hands.

"I'm a monster," he said to no one in particular. "I ruin people, leave them to die, maybe even kill them myself. I'm not good, probably never have been, but it's been so long that I forget. I'm just good at pretending." He looked at the console morosely, as if it would give him an answer. The light in the Time Rotor brightened, illuminating the room so quickly that it hurt his eyes.

"No! Stop it!"

The console beeped, the light continuing to brighten. The Doctor stormed up to it and slammed his fists down on a panel.

"Stop it! Stop mocking me, you useless machine!"

The light flickered out, leaving him in total darkness. Darkness. He had conflicting feelings about it. Sometimes it was so wonderful, the way it could conceal you, mask you from the world and leave you in the comfort that was isolation. Other times, it didn't feel so safe. Was anyone really alone in the dark? Or was he the only one who could feel those eyes, hear that faint breathing, sense the hand reaching out for him…?

"On! Turn it back on!"

The light flared to life again, and the Doctor stumbled backwards to the floor, the sudden brightness burning his eyes.

"What are you trying to tell me?!" He shouted, clambering to his feet, slamming his fists into the console again. The pain it brought felt a bit sweet, somehow.

The TARDIS beeped and the light flared, but that was his only answer.

"Oh, come on. We both know you're capable of answering more coherently than that!" He hit the console again, skin breaking with the impact, the sensation bittersweet. "What is it?!"

The light went out again. It was not a comfortable darkness that the Doctor was left in.

"No, no! Stop this! Or I-I'll… strip you! Yeah! Strip you for spare parts and sell you!"

The Doctor was left in darkness, the air around him still and silent except for the slight ringing of his voice around the curved ceiling. He sat down heavily on the metal floor in defeat. Of course the TARDIS wouldn't listen to him. They both knew that that threat was a massive lie. He would never be able to bring himself to harm his precious machine.

"How am I supposed to feel when I can't even escape judgement from you?" he snapped bitterly. He pulled his sonic screwdriver out of his jacket, flipping it to a recently added setting. It made sense, really. If it could close small wounds,;certainly it would be easy for the device to also make them.

_Monster. Stupid idiot. Horrific, that's what you are. Horrific._

He tore off his jacket, then unbuttoned the end of his left sleeve so he could push it up and expose his forearm.

_Despicable. Terrible. Horrifying. Bad._

Light and sound pulsed gently from his sonic screwdriver as he activated it. He hissed at the slash that began to form in his arm, wishing that he had a little more light to see by. Almost as if she had read his thoughts, the TARDIS once again turned on the light in the Time Rotor. Is was soft and dim, comfortable this time.

"Thanks, dear." It was much easier to draw the slash on his arm now that he could see. The pain was a good, welcome feeling. It drove all other thoughts out of his head, almost as if they were bleeding out of his sliced flesh. All that mattered was the pain, that sweet, sweet pain.

The Doctor sighed at the next cut he made in his flesh. It was such a relief to do this, a way for him to vent his feelings, a method he'd used for years and years, since he was a child. He was glad that his body was incredibly hard to scar. If any marks were left over, he would be called insane, crazy. They would all wonder what was wrong with him.

_I'm sad; that's what's wrong. I hate myself, and I want someone to help me._

He laughed as he made the next cut. Help? No one could help him! It was almost a completely foreign concept. _He _helped people, not the other way around. He often wondered how he did it when he couldn't even help himself.

The Doctor was prepared to smile, but the next slash _hurt. _He gasped and looked down at his arm, feeling a moment of shock. Why was he doing this to himself? He should be doing something else, something different, something productive, something that wasn't painful, something that was fun. He should be -

He had to go out again.

London and people were just waiting for him right below his cloud, and all he had to do was descend if he wanted to see these petty creatures. He could entertain himself with their tiny, little lives, then come back up here and gloat.

_Because I'm a god, you worthless beings. I'm above you in every possible way._

With a parody of his usual smile, the Doctor stood and began to get ready for his outing among the mortals that should be honored to be his toys. It was time to play a game.

* * *

He was dressed much too nicely for this area of the city, a poor, decrepit district that housed a lot of unruly, unwelcome sorts. It suited his needs perfectly.

He didn't even take note of the sign above the door of the building he entered. It didn't matter what this place was called. All that mattered was what it offered.

It was hot inside the building, though the lighting was dim. The stuffiness was most likely caused by the many people inside, all gasping and breathing the same air in and out.

_Honestly. Someone should open a window._

But there were no windows, not on this side anyway, which made sense. The brothel wanted to protect the privacy of its customers and employees alike.

He was distracted by an escapade taking place in the corner of the room, a tad surprised that it wasn't taking place in another, more private room. A woman was laid out on one of the tables, being pleasured by two men at once, all three of them gasping and groaning and sweating. Maybe the openness about it was an invitation to join in.

He took a step towards the wild group, but was stopped with a hand on his shoulder.

"Is there anything I can get for you, sir?" He turned to find a middle aged woman facing him, a hinting smile on her luscious lips. He didn't mind that she wasn't young. Her age seemed to make her prettier somehow. Maybe it was the wideness of her hips and the fullness of her breasts that no doubt came from bearing children.

"I assume you're free for the night?" he asked her, trying to tune out the sounds in the corner.

"My last customer never showed," she explained, taking one of his hands in hers. "I'd be happy to take on a new man." This was accompanied with a wink. "What's your name?"

"Name's are unimportant, don't you think?" he asked, coming in close till he could feel the heat of her breath on his neck. "Besides, I'm not here for companionship. I'm here for…" He leaned down to nuzzle her neck with his nose. Her hair was soft against his skin. "Other things, that I'm sure you're quite skilled at."

She grasped the back of his neck with her other hand, pulling him closer. The touch of her lips on his ear nearly sent a pleased shiver through him.

"Just wanted to know what I should scream when the time comes." Her voice was low and sensual.

"Jack," he murmured against her neck. "My name's Jack."

* * *

The way her body jerked in pain against his was a beautiful thing, and he swallowed her scream with his lips, taking in her breath and her muffled voice hungrily. She writhed underneath him, trying to throw him off, but one hand gripped her naked hip tight, the fingers of the other curled around his knife that now glistened with a deep red. He stabbed her again, with both his manhood and his knife. She arched her head away from him, and he feared that a scream would come out, but none did. Only a few, breathless gasps. Just as a precaution, he sealed her lips with his, continuing to buck in and out of her body. The rush of her blood under him was magnificent, the sharp, metallic scent almost making him high. This woman had given him the two things he wanted; sex and blood. The ecstasy of it all was so much it was almost painful, but that didn't stop him from stabbing her again.

She cried out into his mouth, face wet with tears, movements weakening. A few more stabs and they were both done. She gave her last breath as he released with a groan into her motionless body. He gave her one last kiss on the lips before he prepared to go.

"Thanks for giving me what I needed," he whispered. "But there's more work to be done. I'm not fully satisfied, and I won't stop until I am."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: _So _sorry this took such a long time! I've been busy with other things and I couldn't quite find the inspiration for this. But, good news, I'm writing it for NaNoWriMo, so expect chapters to come out almost daily!**

* * *

_I was not codding dear old Boss when I gave you the tip, you'll hear about Saucy Jack's work tomorrow: double event this time. Number one squealed a bit, couldn't finish straight off. ha not the time to get ears for police. thanks for keeping last letter back till I got to work again._

_Jack the Ripper_

Jenny shuddered as she studied the letter by the lamp on her bedside table. The police had given it right to her and Vastra rather than sending it directly to the press, a good thing, she thought. The city was already in enough panic without these atrocious words flying about.

_And now I won't be able to sleep tonight. Good job, Jenny. _Vastra had told her she could stay out of this case if it made her uncomfortable - and it did - but she didn't want to leave her wife alone with it. She wanted to help and do anything she could to get this murderer off the streets.

"Oh, Jenny, stop looking at that horrid thing!" Vastra exclaimed, sitting down on the bed beside her. Before Jenny could protest, Vastra tore the paper out of her hands, crumpled it into a ball, and threw it across the room. It almost reached the fire burning at the other end in the stone hearth.

"Hey! That was important evidence!"

"That we've _both _looked at enough," Vastra reasoned. "It only told us that he's going to kill again. There was nothing useful in it."

"Who's this boss he keeps talking about, do you think?" Jenny asked, settling back against the pillows more. She had no idea how she was going to be able to sleep.

"I honestly have no idea," Vastra replied. "I almost feel like the inspector knows something that he's not telling us. Maybe it's him." She gave a graceful shrug of her shoulders.

"The _inspector?_" Jenny asked incredulously. Was Vastra accusing him of conspiring with the killer?

"It does seem insane, doesn't it?" Vastra agreed. "I'm just bothered by all this? But… I shouldn't be worrying you with all this, dear. I can handle it myself." She rose to go.

"Hold on." Jenny rose from the bed and came over to her. "I want to help. I'm okay. Really."

"Are you sure, Jenny?" Vastra's eyes were concerned.

Though her stomach was churning a little bit, she gave a nod. It made her more anxious to leave Vastra with this on her own. What if something happened to her?

"Alright." She stroked her hands up her arms. "Tomorrow we're going to the brothel where one of the murders happened. Think you can handle it?"

Jenny gave Vastra a reassuring smile. "I know I can. I have a sword now."

"And you know how to use it." Vastra smiled back, then leaned down and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. Jenny stood on her tiptoes so that Vastra wouldn't have to bend so much. She wondered if their height difference ever annoyed her.

Vastra pulled away and stroked her face. Her scaly skin was cool.

"You're so brave, Jenny."

She didn't exactly know how to respond to the comment, so she just smiled.

"Now-" There was a teasing gleam in Vastra's eyes. "Let's see how brave you can be in bed."

"I'm not going to cower in a corner if that's what you think."

"Oh, I'm sure you won't."

* * *

Vastra could sense Jenny's anxiety as they approached the brothel. It was closed currently, and police were still roaming the place as they had been yesterday. The body had been examined and removed, and Vastra was here to seek out facts and other evidence.

She took Jenny's hand as they entered, even though it broke the pretense of Jenny being her maid. Her wife needed the comfort at the moment.

"Madame Vastra, so glad you could make it," the inspector greeted her, standing near the front counter in the common room. Vastra wrinkled her nose in disgust at the odors that greeted her, mostly of a bodily fluid that she didn't feel like thinking about. The smell of blood was still sharp in her nose however, wafting from the hallway.

Vastra didn't bother with a greeting; she had work to get done. She just went up to the inspector, Jenny by her side, and asked: "Have you located the employees that were here the other night?"

"They were relatively easy to track down, yes. They're in this room over here." The inspector, with a curt nod of his head and wave of his hand, led Vastra and Jenny over to a room adjacent the common room. It was unremarkable, furnished with only a small coffee table and two, ragged couches. On one of the couches sat two women, one plump and in her middle years, the other younger and slim. Vastra guessed he older woman was the one who ran the brothel.

"Names?" Vastra asked almost instantly. She glanced at the couch again and decided that she would much rather remain standing. Who knows what could have occurred on that piece of furniture.

"Rose Vanderlith," the middle aged woman responded, not moving to greet them. She understood that this was a business call.

"Margaret Tyler," the younger woman said, looking down at her feet, voice quiet. She seemed nervous to be in Vastra's presence. The veil was probably causing that, but she would be running out of the room if she had it off.

"Inspector, you may leave now. We have this under control."

The inspector nodded his head and slipped out the door, closing it behind him. Jenny just stood at the back of the room once he left. The questioning would be up to Vastra.

"Mrs. Vanderlith, I'm under the assumption that you run this place?" Vastra asked.

"Yes, I-I do." She seemed a bit uncomfortable admitting it. Vastra was disgusted by the existence of such places, but she wasn't going to judge this woman. She most likely had fallen upon hard times.

"Were you here two nights ago?"

"No. I had gone home early."

"Is there anyone that could account for that?"

"I could," Miss Tyler spoke up. "She put me in charge as she left."

"Did you see anybody suspicious looking before the murder, anyone who wasn't a regular customer or who seemed nervous in anyway?"

"Well, there was one man…"

"Go on." Vastra could feel that she was about to gain some very important information.

"I didn't see his face." Miss Tyler seemed ashamed to admit it.

"But what did you see?"

"The way he was dressed."

"Why have you picked this man out as being suspicious?"

"I'd never seen him here before, is all," Miss Tyler explained. "And he was wearing a top hat, as if he wanted to hide."

"Most men wear top hats, now-a-days," Vastra said, rolling her eyes behind her veil and trying to keep the frustration out of her voice. This woman seemed rather daft. "What else was he wearing?"

"A-"

The woman was suddenly erupted as screams erupted from outside. The smell of smoke suddenly burned in Vastra's nostrils.

"Madame, what's happening?" Miss Tyler asked, standing, seeming anxious.

"Jenny, get back from the door!" Smoke, thick and black, was curling from underneath the frame of the door, along with a palpable heat.

"Madame Vastra!" It was the inspector's voice from outside, a few feet away from the door. He was interrupted by coughing. "There's a fire! You have to get out of there!"

Jenny instantly ran for the door before Vastra could stop her, and she gave a cry as her hand connected with the brass doorknob. She stumbled backwards and clutched it to her chest. Flames were beginning to lick up the frame of the door.

Everyone was now standing at the back of the room, Vastra in front, her arms spread in a futile attempt to protect her companions from the fire.

"Inspector! You have to leave!" Vastra called, her voice hoarse as her throat burned with smoke.

"But-"

"We'll get out! Don't worry!"

There was silence from the other side of the door except for the crackling of flames.

Miss Tyler was in terrified tears. "Where did this come from?! How are we going to get out?! Oh god! We're all going to die, aren't we?!"

Vastra threw off her veil and turned to survey the room, ignoring the reactions from Miss Tyler and Mrs. Vanderlith. The one thing she hadn't noticed when entering the room: there were no windows.

"Dear god, you're a lizard!" Mrs. Vanderlith screamed. "Go die in that fire, beast!"

"Shut up!" Vastra snapped at her. "Your comments are _not _helpful!"

"Ma'am, what are we going to do?" Jenny asked. Her eyes were glistening with tears from her burned hand and the smoke that was crowding the room.

Vastra crouched down and pulled everyone down with her. The air was clearer near the floor.

"What are we going to do?!" Miss Tyler cried.

Vastra, completely losing her temper, growled at the woman, fighting the urge to raise a hand and hit her in the face. She crawled past the two useless women to the far wall, Jenny following.

"How are we going to get out of here?" Jenny whispered. She looked back at the door, now completely consumed in flames that were starting to inch across the walls and the floor.

"Do you think the couch could be heavy enough to break through the wall if we all pushed?" Vastra suggested.

"It's better than nothing." Jenny rose, but stayed in a crouch, going over to the couch closest to the wall. Vastra joined her, motioning for the other women to do the same.

"We're going to see if we can push this through the wall," Vastra explained, coughing at the end of her words. "Everyone push."

The couch slid easily across the floor with a grating scrape of wood, and Miss Tyler fell to the floor as she lost the support of the furniture. Jenny stopped to help her up and they both continued pushing.

Vastra was starting to couch harder and harder, losing her ability to breathe, her muscles growing weak, but she kept trying to push as hard as she could.

"Miss Tyler, you need to tell me what that man was wearing," Vastra choked out between coughs.

Miss Tyler just shook her head, sobbing hysterically and coughing at the same time. Mrs. Vanderlith wasn't in better shape. Jenny was coughing too, but still determined on pushing.

"Dammit, woman!" she rasped. "Give me the information!"

"Can we _live _through this first?!"

"Someone's-" Jenny doubled over coughing, but kept pushing. She continued speaking through her cough: "Obviously trying to kill us because of it!"

"M-Maroon…"

"Maroon what?"

The fire was nearly at their feet, and Vastra pushed harder, limbs shaking. The splintering of wood sounded over the roaring of the flames.

"I-I can't…" Miss Tyler collapsed to the floor. Jenny ran to help her, but Vastra motioned for her to get back to pushing. Getting her back up would do no good if they didn't have an escape route.

More splintering wood, and the couch slid through the wall. The women fell to the ground with the momentum, hurriedly scrambling back up and speeding through the jagged hole. Mrs. Vanderlith helped Jenny drag Miss Tyler out into the open street.

Vastra collapsed onto the ground coughing, her lungs feeling as if they were going to burst, even with the new fresh air.

"J-Jenny, how's M-Miss Tyler?" The muscles in her chest spasmed and she gave a cry. Who knew breathing in smoke could be so _painful? _

"N-No idea, ma'am."

All of Vastra's cares left her as fatigue suddenly took over her body. She found that the cobblestones looked rather nice, and next thing she knew, she was curled up on them, closing her eyes and wishing herself into sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry about the tediousness of the last chapter. It was just something that we all had to get through. This chapter's much better, however. Haha, I'm laughing because I'm doing things you don't know about, or well, hopefully don't. Some of you are onto me though. 0_0**

* * *

The Doctor did a quick check of his clothes as he passed a mirror in one of the halls of Paternoster Row. He admitted that he looked dashing in his blue jacket and his top hat, though it was different from the colors he'd been wearing lately.

"I'm glad you came to visit," Madame Vastra said in an unusually scratchy voice, leading him into one of the sitting rooms. Plants and statues contrasted oddly in the Victorian style room, yet it managed to resemble a jungle.

"Well, I just wanted to check up on my friends," the Doctor explained, taking a plush chair across from the lizard woman. She was dressed in a plain white gown and she looked fatigued.

"I assume you know about the fire?"

The Doctor nodded. "I could smell the smoke from my cloud."

"That high up?" Vastra cocked her head as she examined him and he felt a little unsettled under her gaze. She couldn't possibly know, could she?

"Yes." His voice was calm.

"I didn't think something so small would bring you down here," Vastra said, her eyes still scrutinizing him. She threw him for a loop when her suspicion suddenly turned into a smile. "Are you feeling better?"

"No," the Doctor responded glumly, looking down at his feet. He twiddled his thumbs in his lap.

"Hm… Yet you came down because you smelled smoke. How did you know that it was Jenny and I who were caught in the fire?" She was back to sounding suspicious again.

"I didn't, I'm…" He paused at Vastra's forceful gaze. "I'm allowed to worry about people sometimes!"

"But you haven't lately."

"Maybe I am changing, okay?" the Doctor snapped. "Stop pushing and looking for an explanation. It's not science. It's-It's feelings, emotions. It's not always so easy to figure out."

"Emotions are made by chemical reactions in the brain." Vastra's tone was matter-of-fact.

The Doctor growled in frustration, but didn't say anything more.

"How _are _you feeling?" Vastra inquired.

"Really?" he asked, looking at her a bit incredulously. "Why do you care?" He turned his head away. "Nobody should care about me."

"And why is that?"

"Because I'm a terrible person." He still wasn't looking at her. He just ground his teeth in frustration. Maybe he should have stayed up in his cloud, away from people. He didn't like talking anymore, unless it was to himself. He was the only one who understood.

"Doctor, we've been through this already. What happened wasn't your fault."

The Doctor turned his gaze on her, his eyes sharp. "What are you supposed to be? A friend or a therapist?"

Vastra sat up a little straighter at this, seeming a bit upset by the accusation.

"Where's Jenny?"

"She's resting in the bedroom. I was able to recover much quicker than she was."

"That's usually the deal with humans." The Doctor's voice was more critical than he had meant it to be. Vastra looked insulted.

"And what do you mean by that? I thought you liked humans."

"I do… sometimes…"

"Sometimes?" Vastra tilted her head quizzically.

"Sometimes they're stupid and annoying and other times they're absolutely lovely and brilliant," the Doctor explained. "I'm currently in the mood where I find them to be the former." He took off his top hat and twirled it between his fingers. Looking down, he realized something. There was soot on it. He swallowed hard and redirected his eyes to Vastra. Hopefully she wouldn't notice. It was stupid that he had made such a slip-up.

"How's the case with the murders going?" he asked. The Doctor knew it was a risky question, but he needed to know directly from her. The newspapers usually got their information wrong.

"We're not having much luck," Vastra responded, shaking her head. "I think we were caught in the fire because a girl we were interviewing had most likely seen the murderer. That means that he was there with us, that he most likely followed us there." She shivered a little. "I do think that I may need more security than Strax."

"You'll be safe here," the Doctor assured her. "Don't worry."

"And how would you know that?"

"I'm just guessing. I doubt he knows where you live. If he did, he'd probably be here right now." The Doctor twirled his top hat again, trying to inconspicuously rub off the soot. He then wiped his fingers on his trousers, hoping like it would look more like a nervous gesture than anything else.

"I see your point…"

"What about that woman? Did she manage to give you a description?"

Vastra shook her head in disappointment. "And I don't know if I _will _be able to get one out of her. She was taken to the hospital unconscious. I fear she will not make it."

The Doctor frowned, but didn't say anything. He wasn't quite sure how to respond.

"Doctor, why is there soot on your hat?"

The Doctor looked at it, mouth formed into a little 'o' to make it look like he was surprised by her observation. "Oh, I didn't notice." He wiped the soot off with his sleeve, staining his coat.

"But you weren't anywhere near the fire," Vastra said. "That's what you told me."

"No, I wasn't. I went to check out the building before I came to visit you," he explained. "I was just curious to how damaged it was. There was still a lot of smoke in the air."

Vastra's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "But the rest of your clothes are perfectly clean."

The Doctor swallowed hard, then looked at her, unsure of how to explain.

"I'm guessing that you went back to your TARDIS to change but you liked the hat too much."

"Yes, that's it." The Doctor nearly sighed in relief, glad that Vastra had saved him from his own mistake. "It's a nice hat, you know?"

"I suppose, but I don't really look at men in that sort of way."

"Oh, I know you don't." He stood and put his hat back on his head. "Well, I best be leaving."

Vastra stood and took his wrist. "No, please stay. I haven't even gotten you tea."

"It's quite alright." He turned away and began walking down the hall. He felt that if he stayed any longer that he wouldn't be able to take it anymore. Being around people was just too hard. "Tell Jenny that I hope she recovers soon."

"I will," Vastra called back. Satisfied with her answer, the Doctor left the house and slammed the door shut behind him. He took a deep breath once he was outside, letting the crisp air fill his lungs.

_Ah, it's good to be alone again._

The Doctor ignored the people that he passed on the road, even though he did get many looks from many of the women and even a few men. It usually happened anyway. He was well aware of how he looked: handsome, yet hurt and brooding.

_That better keep them away from me._

He took a detour on the way back to his TARDIS and passed the burned building again. The fire had been put out, but it was now little more than a foundation and a few charred pieces of wood. The police were scuttling all over the place like ants, searching for clues and evidence. There were a couple of reporters there too.

One, a small, thin man, happened to notice him, and he was stopped by him before he could turn and leave.

"Sir, hello, sir!" he called catching his shoulder. "I'm Eustis Sheridan, London Times. Would I be able to ask you a few questions?"

The Doctor tried giving him a smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace. "My account will mean nothing. I'm just a passerby. Wanted to see what was going on."

"But, sir, I couldn't help noticing the soot on your clothing. You must have been here while it was on fire."

The Doctor shook his head. "No, but I was here earlier when it was still smoking."

"Did you see anything of interest?" Eustis seemed intent on getting anything he knew out of him.

"No. Just an ambulance taking two women away to a hospital."

"There were two other people in the fire as well," Eustis pointed out. "Did you get to see them?"

"No, I didn't. Sorry to waste your time." His voice was irritated, and he turned to leave. It had been a bad idea to come back to this place again. He just needed to get back to his TARDIS before he ran into anymore people. People were stupid and worthless, a waste of his time and energy, and they always pried too much, trying to get things out of him that weren't there, almost as if they knew he had secrets.

_Dangerous secrets._

The Doctor glanced back at the police as he was leaving, once again thinking that humans _were _stupid. They had no idea he was just playing games with them. He didn't know if it was time for another round though. He thought maybe he should wait for the excitement to die down from the fire. He would let the tensions build, and then he would take his turn.


	7. Chapter 7

"Why do you want me to follow him, sir?"

"Strax, call me ma'am, and I just need you to. He seemed a little odd just now."

"He's always odd, _ma'am._" Strax made a point of calling Vastra by the title she had indicated. Sometimes she wondered if he said things wrong on purpose just to annoy her.

"Just do as I say," she insisted, rolling her eyes.

"Yes, ma'am." Strax gave an odd sort of bow.

"And do try to be inconspicuous," she reminded him, hoping that he wouldn't make a scene or get caught by the Doctor.

"Of course." Giving another odd bow, he left.

Vastra wasn't sure what to do after he left. Jenny was still asleep in bed, she didn't have any new information on the case, and she wasn't feeling one hundred percent better herself.

_This is fantastic. I have absolutely nothing to do._

Sighing, Vastra decided that she would go take a nap.

* * *

The Doctor paused when he heard footsteps under the platform, then peered over. He saw Strax standing down below and looking up. He couldn't see him though.

"Sir, would you let the ladder down?"

"Go away, Strax!" he called back. Why was he here? Had Madame Vastra had him followed? The thought made him feel a little nervous.

"Madame Vastra sent me," Strax explained. He was getting strange looks from the people in the park.

"To talk or to spy?"

"Er… she didn't say."

"So, she sent you to follow me?"

"Correct, sir."

"Go away. There's no reason for you to be here." The Doctor turned away, ready to ascend the stairs, but Strax's voice stopped him.

"Sir, are you alright?"

The Doctor sighed heavily and turned around, leaning over the platform. "Why would you care? You of all people?"

"I don't like your apathy."

The Doctor jumped the several feet to the ground and landed in front of Strax, bending his knees to take most of the impact. He straightened and fixed his jacket.

"Strax, you can't force me to care about things."

"Madame Vastra said you were acting strange when you came to visit," Strax said bluntly.

"Oh?" The Doctor raised his almost nonexistent eyebrows. "She did, did she?"

"Yes. Were you?"

"Why are you asking me? She must be suspicious about something if she sent you." He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, trying to act uninterested. _Was _Vastra suspicious about him.

"No idea, sir." Strax shifted a little. "Oh! I saw you at the burned building!"

"Yes, I just wanted to see what was going on over there." He gave a shooing gesture of his hand.

"Are you dismissing me, sir?"

"Just get out of here."

"What shall I tell Madame Vastra?"

"If you don't want her to be mad at your stupid potato head, don't tell her that you talked to me. Just…" The Doctor shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Tell her that I just went back to my TARDIS without talking to anyone. Just came straight here."

"Of course, sir. And what was that about calling me a stupid potato head? Should I take offense?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "_Leave_, Strax."

"Alright. I'm going."

The Doctor turned, jumped, and caught hold of his ladder, pulling it down and getting ready to climb up to his platform.

"Sir, _are _you alright?" Strax had turned to leave, but now he was facing him again.

"Nevermind that, Strax. I told you to leave. You're being bothersome." Without waiting for an answer, the Doctor climbed up the ladder. He watched Strax leave the park from the platform. Shaking his head in annoyance at the Sontaran, he ascended the massive flight of spiral stairs to his cloud.

* * *

Vastra was woken by someone roughly shaking her. She blearily opened her eyes to find Strax standing over her bed.

She sat up, putting a hand to her head, realizing that she had a headache.

"What is it?"

"I successfully followed the Doctor without his suspicion," he reported.

"And you're quite sure of that?" Vastra questioned, not exactly believing her strange butler. "He didn't look over his shoulder or anything?"

"No. He just went to his TARDIS, didn't look at anybody, didn't speak to anyone either."

"Alright, Strax. Good job. What time is it?"

"I believe it's around five."

Vastra looked over at Jenny. Her face was pale and her breathing was ragged, but she was still sleeping.

"Is she alright, ma'am?"

Vastra stroked Jenny's cheek affectionately. "I'm sure she will be. She just needs rest."

"And what about you, ma'am? Your voice hasn't recovered."

"Strax, don't worry about me." She got out of bed. "Now, if you don't mind, I have to dress."

"Yes, ma'am."

Strax remained standing where he was and Vastra rolled her eyes.

"I meant for you to leave the room, Strax." She let her irritation into her voice.

"Yes, right, sorry."

"And if Jenny wakes tell her that I've gone to visit the police station."

"Of course." He promptly left.

Vastra dressed in a maroon dress, grabbed a velvet cloak and her veil, and left Paternoster Row. It was nearing dark and the air felt damp, like it was going to rain. She remembered that she hadn't asked Strax to give her a ride, but in all honesty, she didn't mind. Maybe the air would help her think. It still felt so good to breathe even though her lungs had been free of smoke for hours now.

She felt a bit worried walking out in the street all on her own though. She found herself looking over her shoulder, almost feeling that someone was following her. There was no one there, and she nearly rolled her eyes at herself. Her anxiety was just creating the feeling.

However, she was still glad when she reached the police station. It was bustling with activity, like it had no doubt been all day since the fire.

"Madame Vastra," an officer greeted her when she walked in. "I'm sorry, but the inspector's in the hospital. He suffered some burns and lung damage."

"Well, I hope he feels better." She pulled off her veil. "Has there been any news. A suspect, perhaps?"

"Some people spotted a man wandering around the building before the fire started," he reported.

"Was he carrying anything?"

"Witnesses said that his hands seemed to be empty. They couldn't make out his face or what he was wearing. Just a figure in a top hat."

Vastra gave a little sneer at this information. Figure in a top hat. Exactly what she had seen the night she had encountered the murderer. It wasn't very helpful.

"And we can't look for him because we weren't able to identify him. Our first thought wasn't to follow him. We were more worried about the fire."

"That makes sense," Vastra said in disappointment. Too bad no one had thought of it. Everyone had been in too much of a confused panic to follow a man who had been lurking around the building.

"And, um…" The officer didn't seem to know how to put what he was going to say next. "Your witness, Margaret Tyler, she's…" He shifted his feet nervously under Vastra's pressing gaze. "Well, we just got news that she's passed. Her lungs were too weak to handle the smoke she breathed in."

"Dammit!" Vastra couldn't help shouting it! She tossed her veil to the floor in a gesture of rage. "This case is going absolutely nowhere! And while we run about in confusion, there's a madman roaming the streets and killing whomever he pleases!"

"I'm sorry we couldn't find anything, madame."

"It's not your fault, officer," Vastra said, cooling down. It really wasn't. This killer was just good at being elusive. "Thank you for your time."

She went back out into the darkening streets.

* * *

The Doctor paced around his console, unsure of what to do now. Maybe he shouldn't wait to take his turn in this fun little game. He didn't have anything else to do. He was _bored_, and his emotions were just driving him crazy. First he would be sad, and then angry, then sad again. It was so annoying! The only time he was happy was when…

_Nevermind. No, no! Don't be stupid! You have to stop this!_

The Doctor sat down heavily in the jumpseat, rubbing his face with a hand.

_I have to stop what I'm doing. It's just making me worse. It's not helping. Why am I doing it?_

He smiled a little, and it wasn't a pretty smile. It was a bit sadistic, extremely crazed.

_Because it's fun._

* * *

"Madame, a letter arrived for you while you were gone," Strax said in replace of a greeting, holding out an envelope to her.

"From who?" Vastra closed the door behind her and took it quizzically. The envelope was blank. No stamps, no address. "Who delivered it?"

"I'm not sure," Strax answered. "Someone rang the doorbell, and when I went to answer the door, the only thing there was the letter, sitting on the front step."

Vastra looked the blank envelope over one more time before deciding to open it. She broke the seal and pulled out a slip of paper. Words were written on it in a neat, but rushed handwriting, as if the writer had been either eager or ugent.

_You thought yourself very clever I reckon when you informed the police. But you made a mistake if you though I didn't see you. Now I know you know me and I see your little game, and I mean to finish you and send your ears to your wife if you show this to the police or help them. If you do I will finish you. It is no use your trying to get out of my way. Because I have you when you don't expect it and I keep my word as you soon see and rip you up. Yours truly Jack the Ripper._

_PS You see I know your address_


	8. Chapter 8

Vastra handed the letter back to Strax, her hands shaking.

"W-We need to leave." Her voice was weak and she swallowed hard. "This instant."

"What is it ma'am?"

"He knows where we live."

"And how do you know this, ma'am?"

"Can't you read, Strax?" Vastra leaned against the wall, heart racing in her head. A burst of fear and adrenaline was making her dizzy.

"Oh." Strax was looking down at the letter. His voice was devoid of emotion, as if he had suddenly gone stoic because he didn't know how to react. "Oh, I see your point."

"We must wake Jenny and all get out of here," Vastra said, straightening on her shaky legs.

"But where will we go?"

"The Doctor will hopefully take us in. He'd understand, wouldn't he?"

Even as Vastra said it, she knew it sounded ridiculous. The Doctor would never take them inside his TARDIS. She wondered if he even saw them as friends or if they were just an excuse for him to come down here once and a while.

"I don't think so, ma'am. He wasn't very accommodating earlier this afternoon."

Vastra gave him an odd look. "You told me that he didn't know you were following him. You stopped and talked to him, didn't you?"

"N-No…"

"_Strax…_"

"Fine, I did. And he was very rude." Strax stood straighter and spoke in indignation. "He called me a stupid potato head."

"And you _are _a stupid potato head." Vastra brushed past him and headed up the stairs to her and Jenny's bedroom.

"Madame, I take offense to that comment." Strax was following her up the stairs.

"I don't think we should alert Jenny. We must let her recover."

"Then why are you going to the bedroom?"

"To get my sword, Strax."

"Why?"

"I'm going hunting."

* * *

Vastra wrapped her hand around the hilt of her sword as she stepped out of the house, crouching down to sniff the stairs. They held her own scent, and somebody else's. It was unfamiliar, but whoever left it no doubt had a trail leading back to him.

She hurried down the steps and then slowed, trying to keep track of the scent. It was now dark on the street, and she doubted that she would be seen. She was good at avoiding detection if she wanted to. Besides, the scent trail could have been gone if she waited for the middle of the night.

Vastra didn't really pay attention to where the trail was taking her. All that mattered was that it was still there, still in her nose and telling her where to go.

_I can't believe the murderer would do something so stupid. I wonder if he even knows that I'm not human._

The scent led Vastra to a pub somewhere in the middle of London, a simple, but fairly decent place, no doubt. The sign above the door said that it was called The Rose and Crown. She stepped inside and was hit with a million other scents that nearly confused and overwhelmed her, but she kept that one that had been outside her door strong in her nose.

The common room was filled with drinking and laughing men and women, all seeming to have a good time, though one man sat alone at one of the tables. When the door opened, he hid his face in his drink.

Vastra stepped in and closed the door, just standing there for a bit, letting her nose get used to all the scents in the place. She would be able to pick out the owner of that suspicious scent soon, no doubt.

And she did, and of course it was the man who was sitting all alone. She strode over to him, and the common room went silent at her movement. No one had really noticed her entrance, but she was very noticeable now. A veiled figure dressed in black and bearing a sword.

She grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt and dragged him up, spilling his drink all over the table.

"Who are you?!" she demanded of him. The people in the common room were looking at her in shock, and some seemed to be getting ready to leave their seats and flee.

"I-I might be a-asking the same q-question ma'am." The man seemed terrified, his face having gone white. He was fighting against her grip, but she held him firmly.

"I'm a detective working with the police station," she explained, flipping her veil over her head with her free hand. The man gasped at her appearance, and so did many others in the common room, but she paid no heed to the horrified reactions. They were unimportant. "But, I'm very certain you already know who I am."

"What do you mean, ma'am?" He had stopped fighting, and was instead looking up at her with wide, awe-filled eyes.

"We'll have a more indepth conversation later. Come, I'm taking you in for questioning."

"But, ma'am, I didn't do anything!"

Vastra began tugging him out of the pub. "We'll see about that."

* * *

"I swear I didn't do anything!" the man protested. He had given his name as John Bashop.

"Care to explain this?" Vastra tossed the letter onto the table in the interrogation room. John carefully opened it and looked it over.

"I-I would never write something like this. Was this addressed to you?"

"Yes, in fact it was." Vastra looked to the police officer who was standing beside her. "A pen and paper would be wonderful."

"Of course, ma'am."

"What would that be needed for?"

"To check your handwriting, to see whether or not you really did right this." Vastra wanted to make sure, but she didn't doubt that he had. Her nose had never failed her. It wasn't possible. She'd never mistaken a scent before.

"I already told you, I didn't do it." The man now seemed flustered rather than anxious, a little angry perhaps. It was most likely just an act.

"We'll see about that."

The police officer came back with a pen, an ink well, and a blank piece of paper. He placed it in front of John.

"Write your name, please, sir."

Sighing, John took the pen and dipped it in the ink. "You'll see that I had nothing to do with this." He then wrote his name on the piece of paper, then handed it, and the letter, to Madame Vastra.

Her eyes quickly scanned over both pieces of paper, and she felt disappointment fall into the pit of her stomach. The handwriting was completely different. There weren't even any similarities between the two.

Vastra sighed and put the pages down on the table, rubbing her face with a hand. Now she was starting to feel embarrassed. She had messed up somehow, had gotten the scent wrong. This was the wrong man sitting in front of them. It had probably been someone else in the pub, but there would be no point going back. He'd be long gone, proud of himself for continuing to elude capture.

"Officer, you can let this man go," she said tiredly. "Don't make a report of this and make sure it doesn't get to the newspapers." She looked to Bashop. "I'm _very _sorry for the inconvenience. If there is anything we can do to make up for this, just let us know."

Frustrated, she stood and swept out of the room.

* * *

"How did it go, madame?" Strax asked upon Vastra's arrival.

"Poorly. I grabbed the wrong man, and meanwhile, the right one probably got away." She took off her cloak and threw it over a chair, unstrapping her sword belt and setting the weapon on the floor. "How's Jenny?"

"Jenny's doing fine, thank you," a hoarse voice said from the hallway. Jenny padded into the room in a white gown, her face the same color, her hair a mess from sleeping.

"Oh, sweetheart, you look terrible!" Vastra commented, going over to her and helping her to a chair. "Why'd you come down?"

"Just wanted to know what's been going on." She coughed weakly, then gave Vastra a smile. "Thank you."

"Strax, get her tea, please." Vastra looked to Jenny. "Are you hungry at all."

Jenny shook her head, then looked to Strax. "Tea would be excellent though."

Vastra sat across from Jenny and crossed her legs, trying to hide her earlier mood. She didn't want to worry Jenny at all.

"Vastra, is something wrong?"

_She knows me too well._

"No, everything's fine, darling. Just upset that we haven't been able to catch Jack the Ripper yet."

"Do you think he was the one who set the fire?"

"I know it is. Who else would do it? We were interviewing a potential witness, and he had good reason to do away with us." Vastra leaned forward in her chair. "But, that means that we were onto him."

"But now we have no leads." Jenny looked disappointed to. "I'm assuming Miss Tyler…"

"Yes, she died," Vastra confirmed. "And now we're just left in the dark again. Dammit, but I hate this!" She kicked one leg of the wooden coffee table in annoyance.

"We'll find him. I'm sure of it."

"No, Jenny. _I'll _find him," Vastra corrected. "I don't want you involved anymore."

"But-" She looked shocked by this.

"You're recovering from the fire and this whole business is obviously upsetting you. I don't want you getting hurt, or…" Vastra trailed off, unsure of how to say it. She felt tears in her eyes. The idea of Jenny dying…

Jenny leaned over and placed a hand over Vastra's.

"I know you're trying to care for me, but I'll be fine. Promise."

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise."

"Alright, dear. But not until you're feeling better."

Jenny weakly nodded her head and sat back in her chair. She smiled a little and murmured: "It's strange how much I love you."

"And what is strange about that, may I ask?" Vastra sat back in her chair too, not sure where Jenny was going with this.

Jenny shrugged. "I just never thought I'd be able to love anybody. I don't like men, and my family didn't give me any reason to love them. I always doubted that a woman would return my feelings."

"Are you doubting that I do?"

Jenny shook her head. "Of course not." She smiled. "I'm just happy that you do." She stood on shaky legs and came over to Vastra. "May I sit with you?"

"Of course, dear." Vastra positioned herself so that Jenny would have room to sit with her. She loved the feeling of her wife's body against hers, and she wrapped her arms around her, leaning her head down to give her a kiss on the lips.

"My lips are dry," Jenny protested.

"What makes you think that I care?" Vastra kissed her again and held her tighter. Jenny made a little pleased sound against her lips, one of her hands trailing up to the curve of Vastra's breast. Vastra smiled against Jenny's lips and then slowly slid her tongue into her mouth, careful of not releasing the poison on her tongue. She was surprised that Jenny trusted her so much.

"Please do not partake in such cuddly… _sport _in my presence!" Strax's voice was disgusted.

Vastra reluctantly pulled away from Jenny, who had let her hand go somewhere more appropriate.

"I'm sorry, Strax," Vastra apologized. "Love is just such a silly thing."

"I wouldn't know," the Sontaran butler said, striding over and placing a tray of teacups down on the coffee table. "The only thing I love is my gun, and it has not yet returned my feelings." He frowned at this. "Perhaps I am not trying hard enough." He gave an awkward little bow. "Just call me if you need anything." Seeming embarrassed, he left the room.

Jenny giggled. "Strax is so strange. What do you think he does with his gun?" Her face flushed red.

"It's not what you're thinking about, for certain," Vastra said with a touch of humor in her voice. "He most likely just talks to it."

Jenny rolled her eyes and leaned over to pick up her teacup.

"Remind me again why we took him in."

"I'm not quite sure," Vastra said. "Well, it's probably because we found him alive after the Battle of Demon's Run." She leaned over to take her teacup as well. "The Doctor just left him for dead."

Jenny shook her head at the mention of the Doctor. "I'm not quite sure how I feel about that man."

"You're willing to help him." Vastra took a sip of her tea.

"But he unnerves me, Vastra." Jenny said after taking a sip of her own. "There's something wrong in his eyes."

"He's lived over a thousand years, Jenny," Vastra explained. "He's seen things that we could never imagine. It would make sense if he's… snapped, a bit."

Jenny just frowned, then took another sip of her tea. "I know. But…" She sighed. "I don't know what I'm worrying about. He would never hurt either of us."

"No, he certainly wouldn't. He's too kind for that." Vastra thought over her words, realizing they sounded a bit ridiculous. This was the _Doctor _they were talking about. "Well, sometimes he's kind."

"Except now," Jenny pointed out. "Do you think he'll ever recover."

"I'm starting to suspect that he doesn't want to," Vastra responded.

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, he's been here for a while, and he hasn't come out of his depression one bit. He still prefers being alone over anything else. He's trying to stay away from people so that he doesn't get hurt again."

"He knows that's not going to work, doesn't he?" Jenny asked, taking another sip of her tea.

"Probably. He just doesn't want to admit it."

"He knows we're trying to help him, right?"

"I'm not sure anymore, dear. I'm starting to wonder if a man like that _can _be helped."

"But don't we have to do something?" Jenny inquired, a hint of worry in her voice. "I feel like he might do something terrible soon."

"As do I, but so far, nothing has worked."

"Maybe we should go visit?"

"You know that he won't let us in."

Jenny hid her face in her teacup for a bit. "You're right. I guess we just have to sit and wait."

"I hate sitting and waiting."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Purely Doctor chapter and it's over three thousand words! I had too much fun with this chapter, so... be worried. Maybe, but read anyway! Thank you to all who have been reading. Some of you may have picked up on my theory that I'm writing here, and some of you probably think that I'm crazy because of it, but just bear with me. I'm writing this for NaNoWriMo, so it'll be done by the end of the month. Don't worry, I'm well ahead with a word count of 20,353 words. Woohoo! Almost halfway there! Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

The Doctor could clearly remember the first time he had killed, though it had been almost a thousand years ago. He hadn't liked it then. It had terrified him to know that he had taken someone's life. And he hadn't liked it in the centuries to come. Still didn't like it at times, but it was just something that had to be done, something that would make him feel better.

He knew that others would contradict him if he told them that. It was one reason he kept mostly to himself now-a-days. He didn't want to be judged and criticized, put under a spotlight and deemed insane and guilty.

_I already know that I am._

He often found himself thinking about death, and this night was no different from many others, laying in his bed, sheets twisted around him in a mess as he tossed and turned. The Doctor hadn't slept in a very long time, couldn't remember the last time he had willingly laid in his bed. Two weeks ago, maybe? And now he was forced to admit that he was tired. He hated sleeping sometimes. He saw it as a waste of time and he hated dreaming. He usually had nightmares that he would wake from screaming and sweating and shaking. If he could fall asleep, hopefully this night would be different in that aspect.

_What am I still doing here?_

The question was something the Doctor had asked himself time and time again. He had been in London for too long, perhaps a hundred years. He couldn't remember. His days and weeks and months had all blurred together into some palpable sadness and anger that he couldn't see through, that wouldn't go away. It frustrated him to no end. What happened to the days where he had been happy and carefree?

_Well, I was never really carefree. Just pretended I was. I have no reason for staying here._

But where would he go? He had no desire to go anywhere. That's why he mostly stayed in his TARDIS up on this artificial cloud he had made himself. There was nowhere to go, no one that needed him, nowhere to be. He was unimportant to the universe, a being that had just been meaninglessly cast aside.

The Doctor rolled over again, pressing his face into his pillow. He hated it when he started thinking like that, when his mind went to his worthlessness. What good things had he done in his life anyway? Certainly the lives he had taken and failed to save outweighed whatever few heroic deeds he had done.

_You're selfish, _he told himself. _Selfish, vain, narcissistic. All you care about is yourself._

_But I hate myself, _he contradicted. _How could anyone, even me, like a man like this?_

The Doctor realized that he'd never liked himself, or, at least this version of himself. When he was young, somewhere in his teen phase of life, he had played a dangerous, hallucination-triggering game that had showed him all of his regenerations. Not in the correct order, but he had always known what he was going to look like. And this one, _oh_ this one had given him a bad feeling. The image of a tall man with a goofy smile wearing a bow tie shouldn't have embedded such horror into him, but it had. He'd never wanted to be _this _one.

And now he knew why.

* * *

"_That doesn't even look like me!" the Doctor cried in incredulity, gesturing at the statue that had been built of him, supposedly. But this man was tall, with a strong nose and much too big of a chin, and cruel eyes._

My eyes have never been cruel.

_Of course, the Doctor was just lying to them. He knew who this man was, who this version of himself who had wronged these people was. _That _one._

"_You said you were the Doctor." That was one of the people in charge of those who had captured him. He had to admit that he hadn't been listening when he had given his name._

"_And I am."_

"_But you don't look like him."_

"_Or maybe he doesn't look like me! Well…" He tilted his head to the side and took a step back, for dramatic effect, looking at the statue again. "I suppose he kind of looks like me. He's got two ears, two eyes, a nose, and boy! Would you look at that chin!"_

_The Doctor suppressed a shiver. What had that man done to make these people hate him so much? _

What did I do? _He corrected. This was him, a statue of one of his incarnations in full, powerful, sadistic glory, but how could that man ever be him?_

"_It's quite a coincidence that you're here, you know," the man in charge said. "Another man recently arrived who calls himself the Doctor."_

"_And was he?"_

"_He looks exactly like the statue. So, are you an imposter?"_

"_No, no." The Doctor shook his head, curly hair bouncing back and forth. He twirled his finger nervously around one end of his scarf. "I'm the Doctor. He must be too."_

"_But that's not possible."_

_The Doctor just rolled his eyes. "I'm a Time Lord, figure it out. I'm not going to grace you with a big long explanation. Where is he?" He looked back at the statue. Had this man really come back here? Was it to right his wrongs, or had it been an accident? He couldn't help wondering what they were doing with him, himself._

"_If you come this way…" The man gestured down the hall that was made out of vines. The Doctor was about to protest, but he felt wooden spears at his back. Instead, he just smiled graciously._

"_Oh, of course."_

_The Doctor received many looks from people they passed in the hallways, dressed in green and brown. He just smiled at them. They wouldn't know he was the Doctor. He looked nothing like the statue._

At least not yet.

_He was led into a large room with a dirt floor and domed ceiling made of vines and branches. There were only two things occupying the room. A chair that looked like it had been designed by the devil, and a man who sat manacled to it. _That _one. His clothes had been torn off and he was shaking, green-brown eyes wide with terror. There was realization in them when he looked at the Doctor._

"_Help me. Please. You have to help me." His voice was weak. He looked up at the metal halo of torture devices above his head and licked his dry lips. _

"_T-That's him?"_

_The man in charge nodded. "The Doctor. He claims he came here by accident. I wouldn't doubt it. He knows how much we hate him."_

"_And why do you hate him?"_

"_Because I destroyed almost their entire race and sent them here in a broken ship that barely had enough fuel for the trip." The other Doctor's voice was cruel._

"_Which one are you?" the Doctor asked._

"_Well, I like referring to myself as the Eleventh Doctor." He held his head high at the name. He glared at the other man. "And I demand for you to let me go."_

"_Why would I do that?" The man folded his arms over his chest._

_The Fourth Doctor didn't let the Eleventh answer that question._

"_So you have two more bodies left, yes?"_

"_Nope."_

"_Then why are you Eleven?"_

"_Oh, there's one that I never talk about. And then I made myself regenerate with the same body one time. Didn't want to be this one yet."_

"_But you are now."_

"_Yes."_

"_And do you understand why I never wanted to be you?"_

_The Eleventh Doctor nodded his head, lips pursed into a grim line._

"_And do you deserve this?"_

"_Judgement has already been passed on him," the man in charge stated, his tone almost helpful._

"_But not by the right people," the Fourth Doctor murmured. "Shouldn't I be able to pass judgement on myself?"_

"_No." That was the Eleventh Doctor. "Because if you do it will destroy you."_

_The man in charge sighed dramatically. "Make him stop his poisonous words." He gestured to one of the guards, who had a remote, which no doubt controlled the chair. "I want to hear him scream."_

"_Wait! No!"_

_The man in charge smiled cruelly at the Fourth Doctor. "This is what happens to men who call themselves the Doctor."_

_The Eleventh Doctor started screaming._

* * *

_This barn was the right place to do it from, the perfect place. The Doctor - no, he wasn't the Doctor - he smiled sadly and tiredly. Today was the day it would all end: his miserable life, the Time War. Most would have destroyed their own planet from somewhere else, but he wanted to be on it when it burned, didn't want to live anymore. He didn't deserve to. At least, that's what he had told himself._

_He adjusted the bag that hung over one shoulder and trudged through the sand to the barn, a decrepit, abandoned building that was falling apart, standing alone in this unforgiving desert. It hadn't always been that way. He remembered countless nights where he had run away from his house to hide in here and cry himself to sleep. He had been sad and frightened then too, but he didn't know why._

_The dust he kicked up when he entered the barn nearly made him sneeze, but he repressed it. He examined the interior of the barn. It looked just as old and rundown as the outside, the floor covered in sand and hay, broken pieces of wood and dust._

_He placed the heavy bag down on the floor and pulled it open, revealing a cube-shaped object covered in Gallifreyan markings and gears that he didn't understand how to work._

_The Moment._

_The Galaxy Eater._

_He was going to use it to destroy Gallifrey, his home. It would kill the Daleks too. It would stop the Time War and save the universe, stop every moment in space and time from burning… At the cost of six billion lives._

"_How do you work?" He turned the cube over and over, examining all the sides, trying to understand how to start it. He touched one part, and gears started moving. "Why is there never a big red button?"_

"_I could give you one if you like."_

_He whipped around to find a woman with blonde hair standing a few feet away._

"_What are you doing here?!" He rushed up to her and grabbed her. "Get away from here!" He pushed her out of the barn and made sure he put the latch down over the door._

"_I can't unless you take me away from here."_

_He twirled in the dust to find the same woman sitting on top of the Moment._

"_How did you get back in here?" He quickly hauled her up off of the machine._

"_You didn't kick me out," she explained simply, shrugging her shoulders._

"_But I did, and I locked the door…" He trailed off, turning back to the door and finding it the way he had left it. Utterly confused, he looked back to the woman._

"_Who are you?"_

_She laughed a little, and he almost smiled. It wasn't a sound he had heard in a very long time._

"_Oh, Doctor, so silly. You know who I am." She shook her head and gave a smile, her teeth white in her large mouth. _

"_I'm afraid I don't, sorry."_

_She came up to him and he resisted the urge to move back when she came too close and whispered in his ear: "The Moment."_

"_But…" She pulled away and he was just looking at her, trying to piece it all together. "but you're just a story! The Moment can't really have a conscience!"_

"_Oh, come now, Doctor." The woman put her hands on her hips. "Don't be rude. I'm right here."_

"_You're-" His voice came out as a croak and he had to swallow and start again. "_You're _the Moment. You're the _Galaxy Eater?"

_The woman nodded. "And I know what you want to use me for. Stopping the Time War." She shook her head. "_Such _a terrible cost."_

_He raised his eyebrows. "How do you know that?"_

"_I heard it. I heard you thoughts."_

_The way she said it made the room go a degree cooler, and the Doctor took a small step back. _

"_You're going to use me to kill the Time Lords."_

_It wasn't a question, but he answered anyway. "Yes, I am."_

"_Why?"_

"_If you heard my thoughts then you would know why!" he snapped, brushing past her and going to the device. "Now tell me how it works!"_

"_You're a terrible man, Doctor."_

"_Don't call me the Doctor. I'm not the Doctor." He ran his hands over the device, trying to find any hidden switches or buttons. "Not anymore."_

"_You won't be if you do this."_

"_I'll be dead if I do this."_

"_And you want to die?"_

_The Doctor stopped examining the device and turned to face the interface. Her eyes were sad and confused._

"_Yes, I do. Living isn't good anymore."_

"_You know you'll be punished for this, Doctor."_

"_I can't be punished because I'll be dead, and I'm _not _the Doctor!"_

"_You'll be punished because you'll live."_

_He was shocked by this statement. He actually found himself sitting down on the Moment, unsure of how to react._

"_What?"_

"_I can make you live."_

"_Why would you do that if you know I want to die."_

"_Because you need to be punished for this."_

_He stood up from the Moment and started looking it over again._

"_How would you know? You're not human, not Gallifreyan. You're not even a living thing. You're just a stupid machine!" Giving up in frustration, he kicked the device and turned back to the interface._

"_I told you that I could give you a big red button. Would you like one?"_

"_What do you mean I'll live if I do this? I can't live through this planet exploding! No one can."_

"_Well, right when you hit the button, I'll teleport you back to your TARDIS and then teleport that into space," she said. "That is, if you're still going to do this."_

"_Of course I'm going to!"_

"_Even though you'll live?"_

"_I'll probably live even if I don't use this. I have no choice."_

"_Yes you do." She took his hands before he could pull them away. "_Think."

_He pulled his hands away as if burned, then threw them up in exasperation. "I did! I thought and thought and thought! There's just no other way! By the gods, I wish there was, but there isn't! Give me that damned button!"_

_Just as he finished speaking, the Moment made a strange whirring noise, and he turned around to find a metal rod coming out of the top of the device. It looked like there was a metal flower petal on top. Once the rod finished extending to a height that he would be able to easily reach, the petals opened to reveal a big red, crystalline gem._

"_Well, you are one for finesse, aren't you?" he asked the interface, going over to it. He couldn't bring himself to touch it however._

"_I didn't build myself." The interface came over to the opposite side of the device. "Now you and all those Time Lords, you did."_

"_And I haven't the faintest idea why, but it certainly has it's uses." He forced himself to put a hand on the button. It was cold and smooth under his touch, and his stomach turned. He closed his eyes. Now that he was here, in this barn, he wasn't actually sure if he could do it. The amount of power he held was terrifying. One push of this and the entire planet would explode. Too many people would die, but it would save trillions of others from the same fate._

"_I have to do this," he told himself._

"_You're a monster."_

"_Shut up. Don't talk to me." He took a deep breath._

1… 2… No, no! I can't! Okay, let's try this again. Deep breath. You can do it. 1… Oh… Someone help me please.

_The Doctor felt like he was going to be sick. His stomach wouldn't stop churning and he was shaking, dread running through his veins._

1…

"_You're a bad man, Doctor."_

"_Then stop calling me the Doctor." Why was the interface judging him and basically telling him not to use the device?_

"_Okay, _War _Doctor."_

"_Don't. Leave me be. Let me do this."_

"_I can't. It'll turn you into a monster."_

"_I already am a monster."_

_With that, no countdown whatsoever, he pressed the button._

* * *

_The Doctor followed the boy into the shadowed alleyway, quickly hiding behind a rubbish bin._

"_Oh, Doctor! Where are you?!" The boy was calling him in a sing-song voice. Torvic, his name was. He beat the Doctor everyday on his way from the Academy complex to his dorm room. Both he and Koschei._

I'm doing this for the both of us, _he reminded himself. He'd never willingly hurt anyone before. He didn't know if he could bring himself to do it._

_But then, staring at the back of Torvic's head, he knew that he could. This boy had beaten him and his friend almost senseless every day. He could remember the pain, so real and terrible, the smell of his own blood in his nose, his weak cries and attempts to fight back. Now, the Doctor had the upper hand. Torvic wouldn't even have a chance._

"_Oh, Doctor!"_

_The Doctor leaped out from behind the rubbish bin and rammed into Torvic, balling his hands into fists and hitting him over the head. Torvic fell to the ground with the Doctor on top of him, dazed but struggling._

_The Doctor gave a yell of frustration and hit him over the head again. There was a crack as Torvic's nose connected with the ground._

"_You called me? Well, here I am!"_

_With an angry growl, Torvic managed to roll over and he shoved the Doctor off of him. He hit one wall of the alley and fell on his hands and knees. The two boys crawled to each other rather than trying to scramble to their feet. The Doctor took a hard punch in the face and felt his jaw crack, but he didn't fall. Instead, he tried punching Torvic right back, but he was dazed and his aim was off. He only managed to clip him in the ear._

"_So pathetic." Torvic rammed into him and pinned him to the ground. "What were you trying to accomplish?"_

"_I'm trying to stop you." The Doctor spit blood into Torvic's face._

_Torvic didn't even bother to wipe it away. He punched the Doctor hard, the back of his head hitting the ground and making his vision go in and out. He rolled his head to the side and groaned. He was losing. Maybe he should just take the beating like he did everyday. His plan had failed._

"_Stupid Doctor with his stupid plan," Torvic spat. The Doctor could feel him undoing his trousers._

No, not this again.

_The Doctor kicked out wildly at Torvic. He wouldn't let himself be molested again. Apparently it was normal on Gallifrey for such things to happen, but that didn't make it any less horrible._

_Torvic gave a cry as the Doctor's foot connected with his already broken nose and fell backwards. The Doctor hurriedly got to his feet and pulled his trousers back up around his hips, quickly zipping them up. Before Torvic could recover, he kicked him again. The other boy was losing now, no longer in his place of power._

"_How do you like it, Torvic?!" the Doctor yelled, kicking him again. The other boy gave a cry and curled up into a ball. "Huh? You like getting the life beaten out of you?!"_

"_Please," Torvic choked out. "Stop. I won't touch you or Koschei every again."_

"_But you already did!" The Doctor kicked him again. And he didn't stop kicking him. His vision was clouded over in red, his hearts beating furiously in his ears. He was yelling wordlessly in anger and frustration. This boy had hurt him and the Master too many times, had done terrible things to them day after day. _

_He stopped, breathing heavily, vision starting to clear. What he saw frightened him: Torvic's motionless, bloodied, and broken body on the ground. _Motionless….

By the gods! _The Doctor leaned down, rolled Torvic onto his back and checked for a pulse. There was nothing there. There was no breath under his nose either, no beat of his hearts, rise and fall of his chest. He checked everything. There was just nothing there. _He _wasn't there._

_The Doctor gave a loud sob and hugged Torvic's body. "Oh gods! I didn't mean to kill you! I swear! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He rocked back and forth, still holding Torvic, tears streaming down his face. He hadn't come here today to kill him, hadn't wanted to kill anybody, but now he was holding a dead body in his arms._

"_Oh gods, I'm sorry! Torvic, wake up! Please wake up!"_

_He felt sick, his stomach turning over and over. He hadn't ever hurt anyone before, and he'd certainly never taken a life. He'd seen death before, but it was family members that had died of natural causes, death that he had no part in, but _he'd _done this._

"_Torvic, where are you now? Come back! _Please _come back!" The Doctor shook his body as if trying to wake him up. "Wake up! Come on! Wake up!"_

_Finally giving up, the Doctor hung his head and squeezed his eyes shut, forcing himself to feel the limp, broken body in his arms._

I'm a monster. I'm a terrible person.

_The Doctor had never hated himself more than he did in that moment._

"_I'm sorry," he sobbed quietly. "I am so, _so _sorry."_


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Another just-Doctor chapter coming through. I'm just trying to delve into his psychology. I- Oops... I think I broke him... Does anybody know the number of a good Time Lord mental repair shop?**

* * *

The Doctor woke in a fit of shaking, skin damp with cold sweat. Taking a shuddering gasp, he pulled his blankets around him, damp as they were. It gave him a sense of security in the darkness of his bedroom.

He suddenly felt like there was someone else in the room with him, like he was being watched. Maybe he had been being watched the entire time he was sleeping.

The thought made him shiver and he curled into a ball, pulling the blankets over his head and squeezing his eyes shut. Maybe if he didn't move it would go away.

The Doctor despised his fear of the dark, though he didn't find it to be irrational. Bad things could happen in the dark, especially when something had constantly followed you around since childhood. That's what it felt like, anyway. He had suspected that he was just paranoid, but it was there even when he didn't think about it, hiding, waiting. He had thought that it had come from a dream, but somehow it had followed him into reality. Maybe it hadn't been a dream, or maybe dreams were reality.

_You're just going to drive yourself crazy._

_As if you aren't already._

The Doctor knew he wouldn't be able to sleep anymore that night. It felt like it had only been an hour or two. He just had to wait for the presence to leave, because if he didn't…

He shuddered at the memory of a cold hand grabbing his ankle. He remembered how he had frozen in place.

"_It's just a dream," _came the whisper from under his bed. "_Go to sleep and forget. It's just a dream."_

Oddly enough, the dream/reality, whatever it was, had occurred in that same barn that he had destroyed Gallifrey from.

The Doctor never admitted that he was afraid of the dark - he felt like he would look childish and silly if he did. The thing was, he wasn't afraid of it all the time. Now, he was.

"Light." His voice was a hoarse croak. Light suddenly flared to life from the bulbs in the ceiling. He put a hand over his face and blinked a couple of times to adjust to the sudden change. The presence was gone.

He threw off the blankets and rose, rubbing his hands over his arms, goosebumps rippling over his skin.f He was freezing!

_Okay, shower. Hot shower._

The Doctor didn't bother grabbing anything to wear. He went into his bathroom, quickly undressed, and turned the water on, making sure it was nice and hot. He climbed in, giving a huge sigh of relief as his chills started to fade away.

He tilted his head up into the stream and let the water run down his face. It was wonderful and… thick, for some reason. Still not opening his eyes, he licked his lips to find out what was different.

He choked on the tangy scent of blood.

The Doctor tried moving out of the stream of water and coughed up the blood in his mouth, shaking his head to try to get it off of him, but when he looked again, it was just water. His skin wasn't soaked in hot red liquid.

_Okay…_

Confused and a tad frightened, the Doctor went back under the stream of water, trying to get himself to relax.

_You're a monster._

The feminine voice broke into the seclusion and he swiveled his head around. Where had that come from?

"Hello?"

_You're a monster._

The repetition of the statement made him realize that the voice was that of the Moment's interface.

_But that's not possible. I don't have it activated._

The Doctor tried to continue his shower, but he couldn't deny that he was shaken. A few minutes passed in silence except for the drumming of the water on the surface of the tub.

Then the voice again.

_Why did you kill them?_

The Doctor jumped at the sudden sound and almost slipped, but managed to keep his balance.

"Hello? Where are you?"

_In here._

He swallowed hard before continuing, licking his dry lips, eyes going a bit wide. There was something terribly wrong about that statement.

"What do you mean?"

_I'm in here._

"No, you can't be. Go away."

_I can't. I'm in here._

"Why?"

_You put me there._

The Doctor stopped to contemplate what was going on. Certainly it couldn't really be the Moment. The weapon was locked away in a secret part of his TARDIS, not having seen any light for nearly four hundred years. But that voice…

"Rose?"

_Who's that?_

"You should know who," the Doctor responded. "You have her voice."

_No I don't._

All of a sudden it was Amy's voice with her sweet Scottish accent.

"Just tell me what the hell you are!" the Doctor yelled furiously, getting fed up with this strange voice.

_I'm you. _It still sounded like Amy.

"Amy…"

_I'm you._

"No, no you're not. What are you?"

_I'm you._

"Go away!"

What was this thing? Was he being haunted by something? Was it the… the thing that hid under beds and grabbed your feet when you stepped out, the thing that stalked him in the dark.

"Do you like the dark?" The question would help him verify.

_No._

"Then what do you like?"

_Nothing anymore. Killing, sometimes. _Now it was _his _voice, dark and uncaring.

"A-Are you going to kill me?" The Doctor was frightened again, his emotions switching back and forth between scared and aggravated.

_No._

"Then why are you here?"

_I'm always here. I'm you._

The Doctor was starting to understand, but how was he having a conversation with a voice that belonged to him? It certainly was generated from his mind, but why was he hearing it through his ears rather than in his brain?

_Oh great, I really am crazy._

_Why did you kill them, Doctor?_

The Doctor sighed at this. He didn't really believe he deserved the name anymore, just like he hadn't during the Time War. He'd broken his promise. He wasn't helping people. He was hurting people and cutting their lives short. That went against everything he had promised himself.

"If you're me, you would know that's not my name anymore."

_Why did you kill them?_

"Because I wanted to."

_You're a monster._

"I know that. You can stop saying it now." The Doctor tried continuing his forgotten shower, lathering shampoo into his hair. The voice tried interrupting him, but he stayed on task.

_I hate you._

"Yes, I know you do. Stop saying pointless things." He closed his eyes and leaned his head under the stream, rinsing the shampoo out of his hair.

_You're a monster._

"Okay, I get it now!" the Doctor was finding this voice and it's repetitious nature extremely annoying.

_Why did you kill them?_

The Doctor left the question unanswered, maybe because he didn't know the answer himself. _Why _had he done the things he had done? Why was he a monster?

He chuckled darkly to himself.

_Maybe I can be friends with the thing living under my bed._

The water felt wrong again, but he continued washing. It felt like blood, looked like blood, smelled and tasted like blood, but it wasn't blood. It was just water, and his mind was playing cruel tricks on him.

The Doctor's body was soaked in red. It dripped down his face, streamed down his chest and back, pooled around the drain of the tub, but no matter how much he told himself it was water, it wouldn't change back.

_Doctor, why did you kill them? Tell me, Doctor._

With a frustrated yell, the Doctor slammed his right fist against the wall of the shower, cracking some of the tiles.

"Shut up!"

_Tell me._

The Doctor continued hitting the wall. He had to hit _something. _He couldn't lay a finger on the voice, so the wall would do.

_Why won't you tell me?_

"Shut up! Go away!" He kicked at it with his bare toes, jarring pain up through his nerves, but that didn't matter. The movement nearly caused him to slip in the blood/water.

_Why did you kill them?_

The Doctor stopped hitting the wall, leaving his bloody, throbbing hand against the cracked tiles. He didn't know if it was his own blood or the illusion his mind was making to play with him.

"Stop. Stop it."

_Why did you kill them, Doctor?_

"D-Don't call me that." There were tears in his eyes, and he wasn't afraid to let himself cry. Nobody would be able to see him. He was all alone.

_Then what should I call you?_

"You already know." A sob broke past his lips and he squeezed his eyes shut, blood/water dripping off his eyelashes.

_What's your name?_

"Stop it." The Doctor's voice was a distressed moan. "Go away!"

_Why did you kill them?_

"I-I don't know." Another sob. Oh, but he _hated _himself, loathed his very existence and the breath flowing through his lungs.

_Why did you kill them, Doctor?_

"Stop calling me that!" He hit the wall one more time and crumpled to his knees on the floor of the tub. The illusion of blood had disappeared, and he was left kneeling in the stream of water.

_What's your name?_

"Stop." He shook his head, another sob leaving his throat. "Stop tormenting me."

_You deserve it, Doctor._

"That's not my name!" he moaned loudly, resting his head against the faucet.

_Then what is it? Tell me. What's your name._

"Shut up!" he sobbed wildly.

_Tell me your name!_

"Jack!" he shouted, tilting his head up towards the ceiling. "Jack the Ripper!"

* * *

**A/N: Oh, lookey there! Isn't that fun!**


	11. Chapter 11

Jenny paused her walk across the small park when her foot hit something much more solid than the leaves she had been shuffling through. Glancing around the park a little suspiciously, she bent over and moved aside the dried leaves with her gloved hands. Metal glinted in the afternoon sun, and she decided to pick up the object gingerly. Her eyes widened a little as there was recognition of what it was.

Trying to hide the knife in her hand from the other people in the park, she looked up towards the cloudless sky. Well, it looked that way. She knew there was a cloud up there, and on it sat the TARDIS, and most likely the Doctor, unless he had gone out.

_Why would I find a knife here? _

Jenny looked around the park again, eyes considering everything with suspicion. And once again, she looked up. Was it a coincidence that she had found it in the same park that the Doctor used as an entrance to his place of isolation?

She carefully slipped the knife into her sleeve, trying to avoid notice. She had better show Vastra what she had found. She would be able to pick out a scent.

But that could wait. She had been sent to check on the Doctor. He might not listen to Vastra anymore, but perhaps it would be good for her to talk to him. He needed some human interaction. But how to get his attention?

She turned to face where the ladder would most likely come down if he saw her, then looked up at the sky and pretended to shade her eyes from the sun. He would certainly know what it meant.

"You shouldn't be here."

Jenny gave a little gasp and twirled around at the deep voice and shuffle of leaves. The Doctor was standing in the shadow of a tree, the brim of his top hat pulled down over his face.

"Hello to you too," Jenny said, pulling her composure back together. She hated it when he snuck around like that.

"And now it's goodbye."

"I came to talk to you," Jenny explained.

The Doctor straightened and came out of the shadows to stand in front of her, eyes empty. That frightened her. Usually his eyes were deep and sad, but now there was nothing there, like he had broken or disappeared.

"I don't want to talk. I don't need to."

"Doctor, is everything okay?" Her voice was edged with concern. What had happened to him?

"I'm fine."

Jenny frowned. "No, you're-"

"Don't try to tell me anything different!" the Doctor snapped, interrupting her words. Jenny flinched and tried taking a step back, but he grabbed her shoulders. "You have no idea what you're talking about!"

"I-I just-"

"Just ignore me! I don't need you! I don't need Vastra! I don't need anybody!" He pushed Jenny away and she stumbled back, taking a deep breath. The Doctor had turned away by the time she straightened, and he was walking out of the park. She was wondering why he wasn't going back to the TARDIS.

"Doctor, where are you going?"

He didn't answer her. The fence creaked and then slammed closed as he left, and he disappeared down the street.

* * *

The Doctor gulped down another mouthful of beer, nearly choking on the flavor. He liked the way it burned his mouth though, the way that it was starting to dull his senses. He needed it after the night he had had.

"Are you okay, sir?" a passing barmaid asked. "You were here last night." She tossed her brown hair over one shoulder.

"So?" He took another swallow of beer.

"You just look like there's something wrong."

"Well, no. Get back to work." The Doctor pushed his empty mug towards her. "Get me some more beer."

The barmaid lost her concerned expression and made a little _hmph_, tilting her head up and grabbing his mug to go refill it.

The Doctor tried not to think about the night before, a little angry that the barmaid had brought it up. Sure, she had done it unknowingly, but it still bothered him. He knew that he could conjure up substantial things with his mind, but it always unnerved him when it happened. It didn't occur often, only when he was under great mental stress, like he was now.

He didn't bother thanking the barmaid when she brought him another full mug. She didn't look at him, seeming to realize that he hadn't come here for socializing. He gratefully buried his face in the mug. He was here to get himself drunk so that he could forget.

* * *

The Doctor cradled her body in his arms, resting his head against her immobile chest that should have been rising and falling with breath.

_Why do I feel like this?_

Killing hadn't made him feel like this in a very long time: sad and guilty and regretful. He had tossed his knife in a pile of rubbish, hating the memory of stabbing it into this woman's chest.

_She just wanted to help you. Why did you have to kill her?_

Killing had been making him feel _better _if that was possible. It took away the boredom, gave him something to do, something to feel, something to revel in. He had been feeling empowered with his recent kills. He almost felt like he was doing it to show himself that he shouldn't be sad about two humans. Two humans were meaningless, and so were seven, or thirteen, _all _of them.

But this death had hurt him, so he held the woman to him and cried tears of regret. Last night had changed him. It was a good change, maybe, but it certainly didn't feel that way.

_I'm a terrible person. A _monster.

This one murder that burned guilt deep into his hearts made the others start to do the same. Mary Ann, Nicole, Mary, a bunch of nameless others… They were starting to pile up and he felt like he was lifting a hundred tons.

With a wild sob, the Doctor dropped the body and ran out of the alley.

* * *

Jenny watched as Vastra gave the knife a curious sniff.

"I'm sorry I got my scent on it," Jenny apologized, knowing that it must be taking a while because of the contamination.

"No, it's alright. I'm starting to pick out a different one." Vastra smiled at her. "And you don't smell bad, mind you."

Jenny giggled. "What a relief," she joked. She already knew that her wife liked the way she smelled.

It was another minute before Vastra said: "I'm starting to pick something out."

"And?"

"Definitely male, but I don't recognize it."

"Do you think you would be able to trace it?"

Vastra shook her head. "The smell's old. There's probably no trail left."

Jenny frowned. It looks like what she had found was of no use to them.

"It's okay, Jenny," Vastra said, putting the knife down on an endtable. She put a hand affectionately on her shoulder. "I know that you're trying to help."

"But it hasn't seemed to have done anything," Jenny said with contempt, sitting down on a couch and crossing her arms, lips tight with frustration.

"None of what we're doing has done anything," Vastra agreed, coming to sit beside her.

"I bet the Doctor would find this guy in a tick," Jenny said.

"Did you manage to talk to him?"

Jenny shook her head. "He was coming back to the TARDIS and he tried getting rid of me, but then he just left instead."

"Where do you think he went?"

"I have no idea."

* * *

The Doctor stood atop the balcony that circled around the dome of the church and looked out over the city. The air was cold and crisp, fog from the many factories ruining the freshness, the dank smell in the streets reaching him from even up here. Sadly, he wouldn't be staying there for much longer. He would be back on the streets with the humans that he shouldn't care about. They didn't care about him. They didn't even know who he was. He was just some unassuming citizen in everybody else's eyes.

He turned and tilted his head up to look at the golden cross on the top of the dome. The glare it gave off from the sun hurt his eyes, but he wanted his last sight to be a beautiful one.

It was ironic really, killing himself by jumping off the top of a church. He also thought it was the perfect way to go.

The Doctor turned back and climbed on top of the balustrade that surrounded the balcony. He carefully adjusted himself so that he was facing the cross. He didn't want to fall forward and see his death rushing up at him. He wanted to see the cross, shining in the sunlight, pure and beautiful.

He had a moment of indecision as he stood there, a flash of questioning.

_Should I really do this?_

He twisted his head to look down on the streets of London. There were people who had noticed him now, and they were looking up and pointing. A crowd was gathering.

There should have been a few more people walking the streets now, people that were missing, buried in coffins because of some sick desire of his. He couldn't remember how many of this poor, helpless people he had killed, but he couldn't forgive himself for it. It wasn't right.

_Okay, I can do this._

The Doctor looked straight at the cross, gave it a smile, and spread his arms wide. He fell backwards off the balcony. A single tear left his eyes as he fell, the air rushing, coat whipping around him. One hand was held out towards the cross as if he was trying to reach it, but it was quickly growing distant.

Then there was nothing.

* * *

"Madame!" Strax called as he entered the room. Madame Vastra whirled around from the painting she was doing of Jenny. Jenny dropped her pose and grabbed a shawl to cover herself. She was clothed, but she probably didn't consider it decent.

"Yes, Strax, what is it?" She put her paintbrush down on her pallet. "It better be important."

"Sorry for interrupting, but it's the Doctor," Strax said. "He…" He didn't seem to know how to say it. He looked to the side away from Vastra's gaze and Jenny's, folding his odd hands in front of him.

"What is it?" Vastra was now getting worried. What had happened to her friend that could make Strax look so rattled?

"He, um…" Strax cleared his throat and looked directly at her. "He jumped off of a building."


	12. Chapter 12

"Vastra, what are we going to do?" Jenny asked urgently as the carriage raced along the streets. "He can't possibly go to the hospital!"

"He's probably already there," Vastra said quietly.

"He can't be… dead, can he?" Jenny asked tentatively. Though he sometimes frightened her, she had to admit that it would be terrible if he died.

"He would have regenerated," Vastra explained. "We certainly would have gotten news of _that. _Man falls off of building and then explodes in golden light."

"You've seen him regenerate before?"

Vastra shook her head. "No. That's just how it's been described to me."

"Do you think he'll be okay?"

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Vastra responded. "A fall like that would only injure him a little. I wonder what he was trying to do."

Jenny frowned. She had her doubts about what Vastra was saying, especially after she had seen him earlier that day. He had looked broken and empty. He wouldn't surprise her if he had tried killing himself.

_But if he had wanted to kill himself, wouldn't he try harder than that? _She knew how determined the Doctor could be.

"It's not adding up," Jenny said.

"What do you mean?" Vastra looked at her quizzically.

"The Doctor wouldn't jump, or fall off of a building unless there was good reason for it."

"And?"

"Do you think there could have been someone up there with him?" Jenny suggested. "Someone who could have pushed him?"

"To my knowledge, the Doctor has not made any enemies in his time here."

"What about an old one?"

"Gone. Besides, they wouldn't even know he was here."

"Okay, so… What was he trying to do?" Jenny hoped that her wife would be able to puzzle it out.

Vastra shrugged. "How was he when you saw him earlier?"

"His eyes were empty." Her response was quiet. It sent a chill up her spine when she thought about that look.

"Empty?"

"Like something terrible had happened to him."

"Or like he had done something terrible," Vastra put in. "I've seen many a criminal with no soul in their eyes."

Jenny shook her head. "It wasn't like that. I'm sure of it. I don't think the Doctor would do anything bad. He seems quite apathetic."

"That's what depression can do to you."

"Do you think he'll ever get over it?"

"He has to. Somehow."

* * *

A tear rolled down the Doctor's cheek when he realized that he had feeling in his body, that he was alive and breathing. Every little movement hurt, and that made it all worse. He didn't want to be alive.

He was too dazed to react when he felt a cold stethoscope on his chest. It didn't matter to him that they would find two heart beats.

"Heart seems to be running smoothly."

That word got him, however. Only one of his hearts was working. No wonder everything hurt so much. His right heart had gone into cardiac arrest.

_Stupid body. You should just die already._

If he had fallen forwards, such a distance wouldn't have done much to him. He'd jumped from much higher before. Falling backwards was different however. Falling backwards didn't allow you to brace yourself. You would hit your head and your spine. He should have died.

_I should have just stabbed myself instead. It would have probably been more efficient._

The Doctor wondered why he hadn't tried killing himself in a different way. Had he really been certain that this would kill him? Maybe he just didn't want to die? Was this a cry for help? A cry for attention?

_No. I did want to die. I still do._

_Then why didn't you try something better, smart one?_

_Why did I make it public? Why did I want others to see?_

The Doctor decided that he had made his attempted suicide public as a way of apologizing to those he had killed, to those who could have been watching that scene themselves. Maybe they even had family members who had seen his fall.

_But I'm not dead. It didn't do anything._

Breathing a painful sigh of defeat, the Doctor faded back into unconsciousness.

* * *

"I'm sorry," the nurse said. "Only family members are allowed in."

"He has no family," Vastra growled in annoyance. It had taken her and Jenny forever to find out what room the Doctor was being cared for in, and now they weren't even allowed in.

"Let me do the talking," Jenny murmured, reaching up a hand to place it on her shoulder. Vastra glanced at it, then took a step back. Maybe that would be best. The veil was probably putting her off.

"It's true that he has no family," Jenny began. "We're his friends. We look out for him. We're _terribly _worried about him. Would you just…" She sniffled and wiped her eyes. "Would you just kindly let us in?"

The nurse's face softened. "Of course, dear. I'm sorry." She stood away from the door to let Jenny pass, but she stepped back in front when Vastra tried to enter.

"It would be best if I saw your face first."

"I really don't think you want to," Vastra said, trying to step by her again. The nurse just got in her way.

"You cannot look that bad!"

"I don't. Most people just perceive it that way. Now let me through." Vastra's voice was heated with frustration. Humans could be so dimwitted and annoying sometimes.

"Only if you take the veil off."

Vastra suppressed a hiss of annoyance, (that would certainly look odd at the moment,) and sat in a chair against the opposite wall of the hallway, crossing her legs.

"I'll just wait then," she announced.

The nurse tried to talk to her while she sat there, but any conversation quickly died. Vastra's worry was quickly turning into boredom, but then she started speculating.

_What was the Doctor trying to do? Certainly he would know a fall like that wouldn't kill him. _She obviously suspected that he had attempted to kill himself, but she hadn't told Jenny, because it didn't really add all up. Why had he decided to do it in front of people? He could have just stabbed himself in his TARDIS, alone. He liked being alone.

Vastra stood as Jenny stepped out of the room and quietly came over to her. Her face was drawn with worry.

"How is he?"

"He apparently fell backwards," Jenny explained. "Has a severe concussion and three fractured vertebrae. His heart is working fine, however."

_Oh no._

Vastra wasn't sure what to do with this information. Jenny knew that the Doctor had two hearts, but she wasn't mentioning it due to the fact that the nurse would probably overhear. But saying that his _heart _was fine… The doctor's didn't know he had two. One of them wasn't beating.

Jenny met her eyes and nodded a little in understanding. They had to do something to restart his heart, but it wasn't possible with all those people in there. Vastra had a device that could do just the thing, but it would have to be secret.

"Come on, Jenny," Vastra said as she began walking down the hallway. "We should go home."

Jenny jogged a little to catch up with her. "What are we going to do?" she whispered.

"I'm not sure," Vastra answered, strides lengthening. "If we don't restart his heart soon, he'll die anyway."

"So you think he was trying to kill himself?"

"Of course I do. I'm just wondering why he didn't do something that would ensure his death. That man can survive almost anything."

"Do you think…" Jenny seemed to be searching for words. "That maybe it would be better if he died. He would regenerate, and he wouldn't have those horrible injuries. The doctors said he won't be able to walk."

"Oh, just give him time," Vastra said.

"But he can't recover from that!"

"He got shot in the head one time and then fell off a cliff. I'm pretty sure he can recover from anything." Vastra pushed open the doors that served as the main entrance to the hospital. It was lovely to step outside. She hated the smells and setting of hospitals. They smelled of blood, sickness, death, and probably toxic disinfectant. This cool air, though polluted, was much better.

"If we get his heart started up again," Jenny said as they made their way to the carriage. It was parked just outside of the hospital. Strax was sitting in the driver's seat waiting for them.

"How is everything?" Strax asked. Vastra would get in the carriage after she conferred with him.

"Strax, we need a plan."

His eyes brightened. "Of attack?" He looked too excited about this.

"No!" Jenny responded incredulously, shaking her head. She then lowered her voice. "We have to break into the hospital."

"But you were just there." Strax seemed disappointed and confused.

"Yes, it's visiting hours," Vastra explained. She looked up at the sky, strewn with orange and red by the setting un. "They'll end soon."

"What's the matter?" Strax inquired.

"One of the Doctor's hearts isn't working. We'll have to go in and restart it, or he'll die." Jenny's voice was urgent and anxious.

"But after visiting hours?"

"Yes," Vastra clarified. "It'll be easier to get to him in the middle of the night. He'll have round-the-clock care, but there can be ways to avoid anyone seeing us."

"How?"

"Perception filter."

Jenny rolled her eyes a little. "We don't need a perception filter. I'll just pretend that I'm a nurse. I'll go back in now and steal one of the uniforms."

Vastra looked at her doubtfully. "But you don't know anything about being a nurse."

"Never too late to learn." Jenny's expression was confident now.

"Alright, Nurse Jenny," Vastra said as her form of agreement. "Better go get ready for your shift."


	13. Chapter 13

"How do I look?" Jenny asked, doing a little twirl in the alley they were in. It was close to the hospital, but secluded.

"What a cute little nurse you make," Vastra commented. She put a finger to her lips, seeming to become deep in thought. "Jenny, what are we going to do with him once we restart his other heart? They will certainly notice that there are two beating, not just one."

Jenny stopped and lowered her skirts.

"I…" She hadn't thought about that. "I don't know."

"We could get him out somehow," Vastra said thoughtfully.

"And take care of him ourselves?" Jenny asked. "Vastra, we're not doctors."

"He doesn't need one," Vastra responded. "His body is capable of healing just fine all on its own."

"But someone would notice if he was missing," Jenny pointed out. "We can't just kidnap a patient from a hospital."

"It's not kidnapping," Vastra said. "It's just looking out for his best interests."

"Then how is this going to work?" Jenny asked. "Not only am I going to sneak in and restart his heart. I have to sneak him out too."

"Strax and I can bring the carriage around to his window. We could get him out that way."

"Out the window?" Jenny was incredulous. "With his condition?"

"It may not be the best plan, but we can't just waltz him out the front doors," Vastra said, seeming to become a little irritated. She was probably upset that they couldn't have a better plan.

"And when they find him missing?" They still hadn't touched upon that point.

"They never have to find out it was us," Vastra replied. "It can just be left as an unsolved mystery."

"That's not very safe, leaving something open like that."

"Do you have any better ideas?!" Vastra snapped, causing Jenny to flinch a little. She looked down at her feet.

"Sorry."

"No, _I'm _sorry, dear." Vastra came up to Jenny and put a hand on her shoulder. Jenny looked up at her wife, feeling a little ashamed that she wasn't helping with the plans. Vastra's eyes were apologetic and concerned. "I'm just worried about the Doctor, is all."

"And you're not worried about me?" Jenny asked. "If they find me, I could get arrested for impersonating a nurse and meddling with a patient."

"Of course I'm worried Jenny, but you can handle yourself." Vastra pulled her into a hug. "I know that better than anyone."

"What time should I go in there?" Jenny murmured with her head against Vastra's chest.

"Somewhere around midnight would probably be safest." Vastra tilted her head up to look at the sky without releasing Jenny. The sun was quickly dipping behind the horizon of the city. "Perhaps you should get some sleep beforehand."

"Good idea." Jenny was a little reluctant to release her wife. She didn't have much body heat, but the feel of her was enough to make Jenny relaxed and warm. "You want to nap with me?"

Vastra shook her head. "I'll take watch, just in case anybody comes along. I'm certain I would deal with it better than Strax."

"Where is Strax?" Jenny asked, realizing that he had been gone when she had come out of the hospital with the stolen uniform.

"I sent him home to return his gun," Vastra answered. "I had not realized that he had it with him."

"You made him walk?" Jenny glanced at the carriage beside her.

"I wanted some more time alone with you," Vastra said with a smile. "Now go get some rest. You'll need your strength later." She leaned down and gave Jenny a quick peck on the lips. Jenny smiled, then went into the carriage and tried to get herself as comfortable as she could. It took a while, but she finally fell asleep, the last rays of the sun peeking in through the windows.

* * *

Jenny gained easy access to the hospital. She just walked casually through the front doors, said hello to the receptionist - who returned it - and continued on down the hallway. It was good that she remembered the way to the Doctor's room, and that it was on the first floor.

The light was off when she got to the room and it was empty save for him, laying on his stomach, his breathing ragged.

_Great. I have to somehow roll him over without hurting him._

Jenny quietly closed the door and crept over to the bed. She didn't stop to light a lamp; she didn't want to be discovered.

She took hold of the Doctor's shoulder and lifted. He groaned, but didn't wake. Trying to be as gentle and careful as possible, Jenny slowly maneuvered the Doctor onto his back. He gave a cry in his unconsciousness, then moaned once he was laying flat on his back. Jenny felt bad that she had had to move him. It would be extremely painful laying on an injured spine and resting on the back of a severely concussed head.

"Sorry, Doctor," she whispered. She pulled the device she would use to restart his heart out of her pocket, the red light illuminating the things in the room with a strange red glow. The Doctor's face was contorted in pain, beads of sweat showing red on his forehead.

The door suddenly creaked open and Jenny hurriedly concealed the device back in her pocket. A tall, thin man in a labcoat stepped into the room. He stopped, seeming surprised to see Jenny there.

"Nurse, why haven't you turned on a light?"

"I didn't want to possibly disturb him," Jenny explained, glad that he hadn't asked what she was doing there. She probably just looked like a nurse checking on a patient.

"How is he doing?" The man, most likely one of the doctors, came over. Before Jenny could respond, he leaned over and pressed an ear to his chest. Even in the dark, she could see him frown.

"His heart is beating slower than it was earlier," he stated, straightening. "I wonder if the concussion is worse than we assumed." He put a finger to his chin, examining the Doctor. "You stay with him," he finally said. "I'll be right back."

_Oh no. _Jenny realized that she would have to get the Doctor out quickly. She went back over to him, took out the device, and activated it. The Doctor suddenly gasped, his eyes flying open. They instantly locked on Jenny.

"Oh, Jenny, thank you. What are you doing here?" His voice was pained.

"Quiet, Doctor," Jenny whispered. "I'm getting you out of here." She looked out the window, realizing that she would have to give the signal to Vastra and Strax, who were waiting farther away from the window to avoid notice. "Hold on." She went over to the window, quietly opened it, and stuck the front half of her body out, then waved her arms. Knowing that they had seen her, she pulled herself back into the room.

"Why are you getting me out?" His voice was now lowered to a whisper.

"Well, I restarted your other heart and we can't have anyone finding out about that, now can we?" Jenny bit her lip as she examined him. "We have to get you up and over to the window somehow."

The Doctor looked a little panicked at this statement.

"But I… I don't think I can walk."

"You'll have to try." Jenny came over and slid a hand under his back. "Come on."

The Doctor bit his lip to hold in an exclamation of pain as Jenny helped him sit up. He let out a deep breath that nearly sounded like a groan once he was sitting.

"Can I take a rest before we get me over to the window?" the Doctor gasped out.

"Sorry, Doctor, no. A doctor came in here about a minute ago and said he'd be back."

The Doctor looked despairing at this news, but he just nodded his head, setting his teeth in determination.

"Okay. Let's go."

Jenny could tell that the Doctor was struggling extremely hard to not make a sound when she helped him swing his legs over the bed.

"Can you at least _feel _your legs?" she asked him.

The Doctor nodded, tears glistening in his eyes, his lip bleeding from how hard he was biting it. Jenny pulled him to his feet and they both nearly fell to the floor. Jenny stumbled as he leaned heavily on her, but then caught her balance.

"Doctor, you have to try to support more of your weight."

He seemed capable of only taking a little of his weight off of her, and they made it painstakingly to the window. Jenny was growing anxious, feeling as if this was taking too long. That doctor could be back any minute.

The carriage was waiting outside the window. Vastra had the door open and was leaning towards the window, ready to grab the Doctor. He couldn't hold in a cry as they reached the window and he tried lifting a leg up to it. He looked down at Vastra with tears in his eyes.

"I-I can't," he sobbed quietly. "I can't do it. It hurts so much."

"What if you went forward with the front half of your body and Vastra can pull you out and into the carriage?" Jenny asked.

"I can't, Jenny."

"Come on. You have to."

"I know, I know." His voice was pained and despairing.

"Here, I'll help you." Jenny gently guided him so that he was leaning out of the window. "Put out your hands so Vastra can grab you."

The Doctor did as he was told and Vastra grabbed his wrist. Jenny gingerly guided him out of the window and into Vastra's arms. After what felt like an eternity, he was sitting in the carriage, head back against the seat, tears streaming down his face.

"Come on, Jenny," Vastra hissed, waving her forward urgently. Jenny looked over her shoulder to make sure that no one was coming, then quickly climbed out the window and into the carriage. She carefully and quietly closed the window before pulling the door shut, and they were off.

Jenny breathed a huge sigh of relief, then glanced at the Doctor. He was unconscious against the seat.

"Poor man," she commented. "I hope he recovers quickly."

"I'm sure he will," Vastra said. "He just needs rest. Good job, dear."

"I almost got caught, you know," Jenny told her. She explained about the man that had come in to check on the Doctor. "He's probably wondering where the hell he went."

"Do you think he suspects you?"

"It doesn't matter if he does. It was too dark for him to see my face."

"Good."

Jenny shook her head. "I can't believe we had to go to all this trouble."

Vastra looked over at the Doctor. "Well, I believe it was worth it to protect a friend."

"We have to talk to him when he's feeling a bit better," Jenny said. "Ask him if he was really trying to kill himself."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Vastra replied. "Last time I tried helping him he just grew angry."

"But he _needs _help," Jenny insisted.

"I know, but he doesn't want it. It's not going to get through to him unless he wants it."

Jenny frowned, then looked at the Doctor again. It was almost hard to imagine that he had tried to commit suicide, despite the condition he was in now. It seemed so unlike him.

"I wonder what broke him," she murmured. "What made him feel as if he had to take his own life."

"I haven't the faintest idea, Jenny," Vastra said. "I wish I did."


	14. Chapter 14

The Doctor woke in a bed that was much bigger and cozier and warmer than the one he had had in the hospital. To his relief, he was laying on his stomach, the position lessening the pain in his back and head. He should have felt contentment, but he didn't. The fact that he could still feel upset him. He felt tears beginning to build up in his eyes, and he shut them again, the tears brimming over.

"I don't want to be alive," he whispered.

He heard the door to the room open and he pretended that he was sleeping. His act was broken by Vastra's voice.

"I know you're not sleeping. I can hear the way you're breathing."

The Doctor opened his eyes and directed them towards her. She was standing beside the bed.

"What do you want?" he asked bitterly, closing his eyes again. He heard a chair scraping across the wooden floor and the whispering of clothing as Vastra sat in it.

"I doubt those doctors thoroughly diagnosed you," she said. "Would it be alright if I gave you a full body scan?"

"You'd do it whether or not I said yes," he muttered. "Go ahead."

The Doctor heard Vasra stand and a chill raced up his spine as the blankets were thrown off of him. He realized that he was in a hospital gown, one that had no doubt been on him since last night. He hadn't taken the time to notice.

There was a kind of whirring sound followed by an annoying beeping.

"They were right about your spine," Vastra said. He felt the device near his head. "Your concussion seems to be healing up nicely." The device went silent and the Doctor heard her sitting down again. "What's your name?"

The Doctor snorted. "Like I'd tell you."

"Good, so you remember that you haven't told anyone and that you don't want to. I'm just testing you to see how bad the concussion is. Date of birth?"

"You know that I couldn't remember that anyway," he answered. "Too old."

"What does TARDIS stand for."

"Uh…" The Doctor had to think about that one. He honestly wasn't sure.

"It's alright if you don't know. It'll come back to you in a couple of days."

"The… No, no…" He trailed off, still thinking.

"You don't need to have the answer right now," Vastra told him.

"No, I have it," the Doctor said stubbornly. "The Aero… no, that's not it."

"Doctor, it's okay."

"No. No, it's not okay." He found himself crying again, and he felt ashamed of this show of weakness. However, in all honesty, he was frightened by the fact that he had lost some of his memory.

"We'll move onto something else." Vastra's voice was gentle. "What's your favorite food?"

"Bananas?" The Doctor asked. He couldn't remember that either. "Er… apples? Yogurt?" He stopped guessing and sobbed: "I don't know!"

"Doctor, it's alright." He felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. "This is to be expected after how hard you hit your head."

"I wanted it to kill me, Vastra," he whispered. He then choked on another sob. "I wanted it to kill me."

"Why?"

"B-Because I can't take it anymore."

"Take what?"

"Feeling like this! Please! I want to be dead! Why can't I be dead!" He broke down into a fit of sobs, now uncaring about Vastra seeing him like this. He was hurt emotionally and physically and he just couldn't take it anymore. Sometimes you just needed to cry no matter who was watching.

Vasra rubbed his upper back consolingly. It was a few minutes until he was able to calm down.

"Are you hungry at all?" she asked him.

"No," the Doctor responded hoarsely.

"You sure? Eating might be good for you."

"I'm not hungry, Vastra." His tone was bitter, tears still in his voice. "A-Are we done with all this? I'm tired."

"Just one more question, okay?"

"Alright."

"What were the names of your past companions?"

* * *

"Jenny, I'm worried about him," Vastra announced as she came into the sitting room. Her wife was on the couch reading a book.

"How is he?" Jenny asked, sticking a bookmark in between the pages and setting the book down beside her.

"I tried testing his memory." Vastra sadly shook her head. "He claims that he didn't have any companions, that he's never had any."

"He can't just forget all those people!" Jenny exclaimed in astonishment.

"Apparently he has." Vastra tiredly sat across from Jenny. "I had to explain to him what the word companion meant."

"Vastra," Jenny began, sitting down again. "Do you think that him claiming he hasn't had companions is more mental than physical?"

"What do you mean?" Vastra inquired, looking over at her wife quizzically.

"Is he claiming that he hasn't had any companions for another reason than hitting his head?" Jenny asked. "It seems very probable with the way he's been feeling lately. I don't think the old Doctor would have forgotten his companions even if part of his brain got cut out. They're too important to him."

"Or they were," Vastra agreed. Was he forgetting them on purpose, hiding them away in his mind so that he wouldn't feel pain about them anymore? "It seems probably, Jenny. He…" She trailed off and licked her lips, searching for the right words. "He told me that he wanted to be dead, that he shouldn't be alive and that he didn't want to."

"Do you know what put that change in him?"

Vastra shook her head. "I haven't the faintest idea." She leaned back in her chair and sighed heavily. "Any news on the case?"

"Not that I've been informed of." Jenny leaned back to.

Almost as if on cue just to contradict her, Strax hurriedly entered the room and said: "The police have found another body."

* * *

Vastra examined the body closely. Of course it was another woman. She looked like she had been in her late thirties.

"Name?" Vastra asked the inspector. He was standing off to the side, his hands bandaged from burns he had received in the fire.

"We haven't yet been able to identify her. Do you think it's the same killer?"

"I know that it is," Vastra said. She turned away from the body to face the inspector. She had seen enough. "When did you find her?"

"Yesterday evening around five, almost the same time that man jumped off the church. You heard about that, right?"

"Yes, I did. Why wasn't I informed of this until now?"

"I sent an officer to Paternoster Row, but no one answered," the inspector responded.

_Right. Because I was busy._

"I'm sorry, inspector. I believe I had gone to dinner."

The inspector seemed surprised at this statement. "In public?"

Vastra made the motion of raising eyebrows, the way she had seen humans do it. She didn't have any, but the gesture was still obvious.

"I beg your pardon?"

The inspector cleared his throat. "Never mind. We should just get back to business."

"Yes, that would be a good idea. Was anything found at the scene?" Vastra tried to brush off the way he had insulted her. She wondered if he had meant it or not.

"Sadly, no."

Vastra gave a little hiss of frustration. Another body, and there still weren't any clues. How could this murderer be so elusive, especially when she was after him?

"Oh, you're good, Jack. You're good," she muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

* * *

The Doctor laid there and struggle in vain to remember anything, anything at all. Companions? Vastra had described them as friends. She said that he usually kept friends with him.

_But I don't have any friends. They're all…_

Suddenly he remembered.

_Dead._

The faces of all the people he had lost flashed inside his head. Rose, Donna, Martha, Amy, Rory, River…

That last one hurt like no other. He hadn't told anyone about it. He didn't know how to explain that his wife had died. He remembered seeing her die, in a time where he hadn't even known who she was. Her death hadn't impacted him as much, but now it had, because he knew. He knew how much she meant to him and how much he had meant to her, and he missed her to the point where it felt like his hearts were being cut out.

And of course he missed her parents too. Amy and Rory had been the best friends he had ever had. They had traveled with him on and off for ten years, well, in their time. That was a long time for anyone to stay with him. Usually, everything ended too soon, was cut short. It was still too short this time too. He loved them both so much.

The Doctor found himself crying… again… It was annoying how he could no longer keep his emotions in check. It was like they weren't even under his control anymore.

"I remember," he murmured quietly. "I remember."

He wished that he didn't.

Because with those memories, others started coming up, and they were horrible. There weren't happy reminiscences going through his head. Sad ones, horrific ones.

When he had killed for the first time.

The time he had been forced to commit genocide.

Destroying Gallifrey.

Killing, killing, killing… So much killing.

It was ironic that the Doctor had read about Jack the Ripper in some of Earth's history books. He had read about himself and not known it. He had felt anger at the time. How could anyone do that? How could anyone kill so brutally and heartlessly?

Even though the Doctor's two hearts were beating, it almost felt like they weren't. His hearts were too cruel to beat. They shouldn't be beating.

He was glad that he had been left alone. He could allow himself to cry about his failure.

_I should be dead. I want to be dead. _


	15. Chapter 15

Vastra looked curiously at the knife that Jenny had found in the park the day before. It was hard to believe that it had only been such a short time. So much had happened since then.

She hadn't been able to pick out a distinct scent that would help her identify who it was. It had smelled strongly of Jenny and dried, dead leaves, but underneath that there had been the scent of blood, not strong, but still tangible. So, was it possible that this knife had belonged to the killer?

It discouraged Vastra that she couldn't use it to identify anybody. The scent was too old, too masked by a million other things. Despite this, she found herself putting it back in the drawer of the nightstand beside her bed. Perhaps it could come into use later.

She looked up when the door opened and Jenny came in, her expression a little despairing. Vastra stood and took her into her arms.

"Jenny, what is it?"

"The Doctor," she said, looking up at her. "He's so sad, Vastra. He's just so sad."

"You checked on him?" She led Jenny over to sit down on the bed. "What did he say?"

"He's mad that we saved him, that we didn't just let him die. He started yelling at me. He told me to kill him."

"Did he say why he wants to be dead?" Vastra asked. It bothered her how shaken up Jenny looked.

She shook her head. "He refuses to tell me. He says that once he's physically able, he's going to try again."

Vastra snorted. "That foolish man."

"Why is he foolish?"

"He doesn't realize how valuable he is." Vastra shook her head. "I thought he would understand that we care for him if we saved his life."

"Right now he just sees it as a cruelty," Jenny explained. "He's in a lot of pain."

"I know, but he'll heal. He should realize that."

"I don't think he'll ever heal in here though," Jenny said, tapping on her head. "It seems very unlikely.

"He has to. I want him to."

"Why?"

"I just miss my friend," Vastra responded. "I missed the man who stopped me from killing." She brought up a hand and stroked Jenny's cheek. Her skin was soft and warm. "I missed the man who saved you."

"_You _saved me," Jenny said.

"But he helped. He gave me the love of my life."

Jenny smiled at her, eyes starting to twinkle. "And he gave me mine too. I agree that we need to help him. We need him back."

"There are so many worlds out there that do."

* * *

The Doctor gave a pained yelp as he pulled himself out of bed and onto the floor. His legs hit the wood with a thump and he just let himself lay there for a bit. Pain was throbbing up through his spine and all the way through his body.

Once it had subsided a little bit, he looked over to the window. He wondered how high up it was. Determined, he began to drag himself over. Each movement sparked fire through his bones, but he kept going. If he kept going, soon he would feel nothing.

His conversations with Vastra and Jenny had showed him that he couldn't just sit around and wait for himself to recover. His only recovery could be made through the nothingness that was death.

Well, it hoped it was nothingness. The Doctor was curious to what actual death was like. He was used to coming back from it, his soul being put into a completely different body, but he couldn't do that anymore. This was his last body, and this would be his last death.

It took an agonizingly long time to make it to the window, and the problem was, he was still on the floor. He couldn't reach it unless he pulled himself up somehow.

With a grunt, the Doctor put his hands underneath him and arched himself up. Tears sprang into his eyes at the movement, but he gritted his teeth and kept going. He slowly got his knees underneath him, and he paused to catch his path, head facing down, panting. Pain rolled and rocked through him, and movement was making him dizzy.

_You can do this. Just have to get up now. It's just standing. How hard can it be?_

The Doctor reached up a hand and clutched the windowsill, a pained gasp escaping his lips. He nearly fell flat on the floor as he brought his other hand up, but his fingers clutched the wood of the sill tight and he was able to balance himself. Now came the hard part.

The Doctor couldn't hold in a scream as he started tugging himself to his feet. It was unbelievable how much his back hurt. He hadn't felt pain like this in a very long time. He leaned heavily against the window once he was standing, gasping for breath, each inhale laced with pain.

He heard the door open, but he was unable to turn his head. He felt a spark of panic.

_No, no! They can't stop me!_

He began fumbling to unlatch the window, but his hands were clumsy and they kept slipping off the latch. There were footsteps coming towards him, but they stopped halfway across the room.

"Sir, what are you doing?"

"I'm busy, Strax," the Doctor said through mostly gritted teeth. He still kept trying to get the window open.

"Sir, you could have just called if you wanted the window open."

"No, I couldn't have. Go away." He dropped his hands back to the sill so that he could lean against it more comfortably. The window still wasn't open.

"Sir, I don't like you being out of bed," Strax stated. He didn't seem to understand what the Doctor had been trying to do.

"But I want to be out of bed."

"Maybe when you're better." Strax came over to him. "Let me help you back over to it."

The Doctor shook his head, even as he felt Strax's odd, three-fingered hands on his waist. "No. I-I'm trying to do something."

"Sir, I told you that I could open the window for you."

"I can do it just fine on my own, thank you." The Doctor started fumbling with the window again. Strax was gently trying to pull him away from it.

"Come on, sir. Get back in the bed!"

"No! Let go of me!"

Strax actually released him, and the Doctor could feel him looking at him thoughtfully, if the Sontaran was capable of that.

"I see what you're trying to do."

"And you're going to let me do it?" The Doctor's voice was hopeful.

"No, sir. I can't let you do that."

"Why not?"

"It seems like a very foolish thing to do," Strax said. "To take one's own life. You should die in battle, not jumping out of a window. It's cowardly and ridiculous."

The Doctor felt tears spring into his eyes. He felt hopeless again. Strax wasn't going to let him do it, and even worse, he had been called cowardly. Maybe that's what he was. He would rather have nothing than pain.

"Everything hurts, Strax," he said quietly.

"That's because you already tried killing yourself, you idiot!" Strax snapped. "Get back in the bed!"

The Doctor just stood there, unsure of how to respond. He looked out the window, at the ground far down below, and gave a sob that shook his shoulders.

"I don't want to feel like this, Strax!" He knew that the Sontaran wouldn't understand, but he just had to say it.

"Oh great, you're crying." His tone was one of distaste. "Should I get Vastra or Jenny?"

The Doctor shook his head, trying to blink the tears in his eyes, trying not to sob though it caused a burning ache in his throat. "N-No, Strax. Help me back over to the bed."

He could feel the Sontaran butler sneering at his back. "You got yourself out. You'll get yourself back in."

The Doctor turned his head to face him, trying to wipe away his tears with one hand. "Please?"

"Well, if you're going to be so snivelly about it." Strax came over and put his arms around the Doctor. He gave a surprised and pained cry as Strax suddenly lifted him off of the floor.

"Hey!"

"Sorry, sir."

The Doctor grunted as Strax discarded him none too gently onto the bed.

"Don't move," Strax ordered, pointing thick finger at him. "I'll be back with your lunch." He went to leave.

"But I'm not hungry!" the Doctor protested. Strax had left before he could finish his words. Rolling his eyes, the Doctor looked back over at the window. Somehow, he didn't feel any longing for it anymore. He had to admit, this bed _was _pretty nice. And maybe he was a little hungry. And sleepy too.

_Who knew a Sontaran would be able to talk me out of suicide?_

Strax came back into the room a few minutes later, carrying a tray. He placed it down on the Doctor's lap and he tried sitting up to reach it, but Strax pushed him back down.

"Allow me to feed you, sir."

"I can use my arms just fine." He waved his hands about to demonstrate this. It hurt, but he hid his pain well.

"I can see that," Strax said. "But it hurts for you to sit. I will feed you."

"Strax, that's just plain humiliating!"

"Maybe you just need some humiliation." He piled pillows behind the Doctor's head so that he was somewhat reclined.

"I don't need-" The Doctor's words were cut short as a spoon of hot soup was suddenly shoved into his mouth. He choked it out as it began to burn his tongue.

"Sir, if you would just eat your food!"

"It's hot, you idiot! You burned me!"

"It's soup. It's not supposed to be cold." He took another spoonful from the bowl. "Open wide."

"Strax, it's not cool yet."

Strax sighed and put the spoon back in the bowl. "What a thankless lot you are… sir. I'm just trying to take care of you."

"I don't need taking care of," the Doctor replied stubbornly.

"Sir, may I argue that you jumped off a building and put yourself in this condition? Of course you need taking care of."

"Well don't make it so humiliating." The Doctor would have crossed his arms over his chest if it wouldn't hurt so much.

"It must be humiliating for you to realize how stupid it was to do this," Strax spoke in irritation. He picked up the spoon again. "Open."

"It's probably still hot," the Doctor argued.

"Eat it, you little weakling!" Strax shouted, shoving the spoon roughly into the Doctor's mouth. He nearly choked on it, but managed to swallow nonetheless. He cleared his throat once he was done.

"Don't be rude, Strax," he said bitterly.

"I'm _helping _you." He took another spoonful. "_You're _being rude."

The Doctor opened his mouth without any direction and let Strax feed him. This stupid position he had gotten himself in was making him feel on the verge of crying again, but he kept it in so that he could finish his lunch. He didn't exactly want to get hit with a hot spoon.

"What's wrong, sir?" Strax asked, taking the tray with the empty bowl and standing up. "You've had this sour expression on your face the whole time." He looked down at the bowl, then up at the Doctor. "Did I accidentally put a pickle in there?"

"No, Strax, the soup was fine." The Doctor closed his eyes. "Just go back to your duties. See if Vastra or Jenny need anything."

"Alright."

A minute passed and Strax still hadn't left the room.

"Strax, why are you still standing there?"

"You're not going to go near the window again?" He sounded genuinely worried.

"No, I won't."

"Are you certain? I can put bars on it if-"

"Strax, I'm _fine. _Just go." The Doctor tiredly waved a hand at him. "You're making my head hurt more than it already is."

"Sorry sir. I hope you sleep well."

With that, the Sontaran exited, and the Doctor was left in relative peace. Isolation. Seclusion. He was alone. That's what he liked best. He wished it could have just stayed that way.


	16. Chapter 16

In a few days, the Doctor was able to move around with the use of a wheelchair, well, if that's what you could call it. He constantly banged into everything and managed to topple himself over four or five times. He found it frustrating and humiliating, but it would have to do until he was able to walk again.

"So, Doctor, how are you holding up?" Jenny asked him at breakfast one morning. The Doctor rolled his eyes. He got asked the question every day, and then it went into conversations that he didn't want to have.

"No longer suicidal if that's what you want to know, which I'm sure it is, because that's what you all talk about every day," he snapped bitterly. Jenny's face flushed a bit red and she hid her face in her tea cup.

"Doctor, we are trying to help you," Vastra stated. "You can stop acting like an arse about it."

"Well, I don't need your help, okay?" The Doctor quickly shoveled food into his mouth to avoid more talk, hoping that Vastra would direct her attention elsewhere. He was relieved when she did.

"You know what? There haven't been any murders since last week," Vastra noted.

"There still could be one," Jenny said glumly. "It's not like he's on a schedule or anything."

"I'm just trying to be optimistic," Vastra explained. "What if there's a chance that he's stopped?"

"Are you so sure about that?" the Doctor asked once he'd taken his time chewing and swallowing. This conversation had piqued his interest. They were talking about him without even realizing it.

"Yout think the murders will continue?" Vastra asked curiously.

The Doctor shrugged, the movement somewhat painful. "I'm just wondering why he stopped. Would there be a good reason for it?"

Vastra shook her head. "Not that I know of."

The Doctor bought himself some time to think by putting some more food in his mouth. This was a dangerous conversation they had gotten into. What if they became suspicious of him?

_If they're not already, _he reasoned. Jenny didn't seem the least bit suspicious of him, but Vastra was watching him carefully. He knew that she was trying to figure out his thoughts.

"Maybe Vastra and I can look around the city, see if we can find anything that seems off," Jenny suggested, looking to her wife. The Doctor, unlike most, didn't find their relationship the least bit strange. In fact, he had been the one to marry them. He was one of the largest authorities in the universe, so certainly he could be qualified to do that. He was glad that the two of them looked at it as a valid marriage.

Vastra gave a little snort. "It's London. _Anything _could be off."

"Would I be of any help?" the Doctor asked. "I know I'm in a wheelchair, but…" He shrugged again.

Vastra shook her head and Jenny said: "You just rest. You need to."

"I don't give a damn about that!" he snapped, slamming a fist on the table. "I'm sick of this! I don't want to be hurt anymore! I want to move around! Get back to my life!"

"Sir, if I may ask, what life is that?" Strax broke in.

The Doctor breathed a heavy sigh and hung his head down. "I don't know."

"So," Vastra began, "You're getting restless. That's good."

The Doctor shook his head. "If I had done it differently, I wouldn't have a life to get back to." He turned and wheeled himself away from the table.

* * *

"Just take a step towards me," Vastra instructed. She looked pointedly at his hand on the back of the couch. "And no leaning on anything."

"That's unreasonable, Vastra," the Doctor growled. "I haven't walked in two weeks."

"So you're probably eager to. Hands off."

"I can't. I'll fall."

"Do it, Doctor." Vastra's eyes were hard.

"Fine." Shakily, the Doctor took his hand off the couch. Putting all his weight on his legs burned and ached through his limbs and back, and he gritted his teeth, pained tears sparking into his eyes. His hand went involuntarily to the edge of the couch as he took a step, legs wobbling crazily.

"_Doctor_." Vastra's voice held a warning.

The Doctor didn't bother with a protest, knowing that it wouldn't get him anywhere. He took his hand off the couch again and tried to take another step. He gave a cry at the pain that jolted his legs and his knees buckled. He fell to the floor, hands scraping against the rug. He ended up on his stomach on the floor.

"Can I at least use some support to walk?" he gasped out.

"Then how are you going to gain your strength?"

"Slowly," the Doctor replied, pushing himself up to his knees. He didn't know if he would be able to get back up without some assistance.

Vastra hissed in annoyance, and suddenly she grabbed his arm and tugged him to his feet. Not having the time to work up his strength and balance, he fell forwards into her arms.

"Sorry," he mumbled against her shoulder.

Vastra made a sound of distaste and shoved him backwards on the couch that he had kept trying to lean on. He yelped, the movement hurting his back. The lizard woman looked like she was frustrated with him.

"Doctor, all you have to do is walk."

"It _hurts_, Vastra," he responded with a glare. "I _did _break some bones in my back."

"And they should be close to healing, yes?" Her tone held an undercurrent of irritation.

"They're not all the way there. It'll hurt to walk for a while, if I can even do it."

Vastra snorted. "Apes. You don't move for a few days and you forget how to walk." She went over to the doors, like she was leaving.

"That's not what happened!" the Doctor snapped. He tried rising to go over to her, but fell back down, his attempts only hurting him.

"Prove it to me when you walk to the dinner table tonight." Vastra grabbed his wheelchair and began pushing it out of the room.

"No! Wait! What are you doing?!"

Vastra didn't respond. The doors closed behind her and he heard a lock turn.

"By the way," her voice came from the door. "There's another key above the door." He heard her retreating footsteps.

The Doctor gave a scream of frustration and slammed his fists down on the couch, which hardly had any impact. It didn't channel his anger by hitting something soft. He realized there was a lamp next to the bedside table. He grabbed it and ripped out the cord. Maybe if he threw it at the door, the key would fall and he would be able to crawl over and get it.

He pulled his arm back and lunged it forward, wincing at the pain the action sparked in his back. The lamp shattered with a satisfying sound against the top of the door, and there was a light thump as the key fell to the rug.

_Ah, perfect._

The Doctor slid off the couch and onto the floor, not caring about how undignified all this was. He just wanted to get out of this room and give Vastra a piece of his mind. What gave her the right to do this to him?

The Doctor slowly crawled across the floor towards the door and the scattered glass that was now all that was left of the lamp. He clutched the key tightly in his fingers and smiled victoriously. Now to unlock the door.

That process was much harder. He had to use the door and the knob as supports to get him to his feet, and he had to be careful of the glass. In his scrambling, he managed to slice himself above his right knee. His left forearm was also bleeding by the time he was standing upright, leaning against the door.

_Maybe this is a bad idea, _he realized just as he was about to slide the key into the lock. _I'll fall when I open the door, and then I'll just end up crawling through the house looking through my wheelchair._

With a quiet growl of frustration, the Doctor turned away from the door and put his back to it. Maybe it would be best to try to walk.

He took his first step over the glass.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: This chapter's short but intense, so... You'll get my point.**

"You know, that was so _nice _of you to lock me in a room, Vastra," the Doctor said sarcastically, placing the key down on the table next to the lizard woman's plate. "So _very _decent of you." On shaky legs, he took the spot at the table that had become his at the table.

Jenny looked to Vastra in shock. "You told me he was sleeping!"

Vastra took a sip of her drink with a little secretive smile. It looked like red wine, but knowing her it was probably blood. Now who from, the Doctor had no idea.

"Well, yes, I did, didn't I?" she responded, putting down her goblet. She looked to the Doctor. "So, how was it?"

"At first I decided it was a good idea to throw something at the door to get the key down, which worked," the Doctor started explaining, still upset over the whole ordeal. He was smug about making it to the table though. "So, you know, I crawled over, got the key, went to put it in the door, and I thought to myself: Well!" He started talking with dramatic enthusiasm. "I want to show up that bitch of a lizard woman, don't I?" There was a hiss from Vastra at this. "Yes I do! I'll walk out of here and show that bitch that she can't treat me like that!" He leaned over the table and glared at Vastra, his tone becoming more serious. "I am the highest authority in the universe and you dare to mistreat me in such a way? After dinner, I'm going back to my TARDIS."

"Oh, so you're going to eat our food before leaving?" Vastra asked, head held high though she looked insulted, her skin a darker shade of green. "Wonderful manners you possess, Doctor."

"And here I was thinking you weren't capable of sarcasm." The Doctor picked up his silverware to start eating.

"I'm very capable of lot of things."

"Such as?" He acted indifferent as he put a piece of steak in his mouth.

"Hurting people who insult me." Vastra's eyes narrowed.

"Stop it!" Jenny cried, looking between the both of them. "This is ridiculous!"

"No it's not!" the Doctor exclaimed, looking to Jenny. "Your wife locked me in a room and forced me to walk!"

"Because you seemed to have forgotten." Vastra's tone was venomous

"I'm hurt, Vastra."

"Well, yes, I can see that." She was now glancing at the wound on his arm. It had stopped bleeding a while ago, but his clothes were stained with red. "Manage to hurt yourself crawling like the worthless being you are?"

"I'm _not _worthless!" the Doctor roared, standing up suddenly, his chair falling backwards. "I never was!"

"Then why don't you stop acting like you are!" Vastra returned just as loudly, standing as well. "All you do is sit in that box on that stupid cloud of yours and feel sorry for yourself! Go and make something of yourself!"

"I have made something of myself! Over one thousand years!" The Doctor unconsciously had his hand on his knife. "Do you know what it's like living that long?! It's maddening! It hurts in here!" He thrust a finger to his head. "And in here!" He tapped his chest with his hands, the knife in his fingers without him even realizing it. "You have no right to treat me the way you have! You have no right to talk to me like I'm nothing!"

The room fell silent except for the Doctor's heavy, angry breathing.

"Doctor." He looked down at Jenny's hand on his arm. Her touch was gentle. "Put the knife down."

The Doctor glanced over at his hand in shock, then dropped the knife as if burned. It clattered loudly on his plate.

"I-I have to go," he said quietly, almost beginning to panic. What had he been about to do with that knife? What had he been unconsciously doing?

He stumbled past Jenny and was halfway out of the room when his knees went weak and he fell on the floor with a jolt of pain.

"Doctor, let me help you." Jenny came over to him and was trying to help him up.

"Get your hands off me!" he shouted, struggling to his feet and brushing her aside. "I'm going."

The Doctor limped out of the room, leaving Vastra and Jenny in a shocked silence.


	18. Chapter 18

The Doctor sat in his TARDIS and scraped a smooth rock over the blade of his knife. Then he did the same to the other side, then went back and did it again. A knife needed to be sharp if he was going to use it to kill. Vastra made him realize that he shouldn't have stopped. She wanted a game? A mystery? A chase? Well, he was going to make sure that she got one. And the way she had kept calling him worthless…

_I'm not worthless. _The rock through sparks across the blade and onto the floor. _Everyone else is. Why should I feel like humans are better than me? _I'm _better than them. I should be allowed to kill them for amusement. They're _nothing. _I'm _something. _I'm something that's bored!_

The Doctor scraped the rock one last time over the knife, then brought it up to his face to examine it. The edge glinted perfectly and pointedly. He smiled and gave it a twirl. It was time to get back to business.

* * *

"Jenny, there's something I need to tell you," Vastra started, "and it's not good news."

"Can't you tell me after you've finished this painting?" Jenny asked, not breaking her pose. She didn't want any bad news right now. Besides, how could there be bad news if there hadn't been any murders recently.

"I know what you're thinking," Vastra said, continuing her work. "And yes, it is about the case."

"But how? If there haven't been any murders?"

"There's been a letter."

"A letter?" Jenny felt a chill pulse up her spine. "What letter? Is he going to start killing again?"

Vastra shrugged. "It's not about that." She seemed nervous.

"Then what is it? It's still from him though, isn't it?" She could understand Vastra's anxiety. All the letters from the killer had been absolutely horrible. The man was reveling in the atrocities he had committed and flaunting them about while still remaining hidden.

"Oh, it's definitely still him," Vastra replied. "But this time…" She didn't seem to know how to continue.

"What was it?"

"This time it was addressed to us."

Jenny abruptly dropped her pose and stood. "Where is it? Can I see?"

"Jenny, I don't think you should…" Vastra's voice was concerned.

"Then why are you telling me about it?"

"I at least thought you should know."

Jenny sat back down with a frown and crossed her arms. "Just show it to me, Vastra."

"Maybe later." Vastra raised her paint brush again and looked at her pointedly. "Let me finish painting you."

"Fine." Jenny took her pose up again. "What did it say? Where did you find it?"

Vastra frowned and didn't look at her, not moving her concentration from her work. "On our doorstep."

"And…?" Jenny prompted.

"It was obviously stated that he knows our address." Vastra was still focused on the painting. Her tone was concerned. "And he said that we can't work with the police anymore."

Jenny frowned. "But didn't you go see them the other day? When they found a body?"

"That wasn't me working with them," Vastra said. "That was just going to see who he had killed. Certainly he would understand that."

"I think you're making dangerous assumptions."

"He's intelligent. It's obvious." Vastra looked away from her work. "I think he wants a game. He wants a chase, and for me to continue, I have to at least see the bodies."

"And you can tell all this from just his letters?"

"And the way he works," Vastra continued. "He's possibly the smartest man I've ever encountered. I almost want to meet him face-to-face."

"That's _insane_," Jenny said, dropping the pose again and coming up to Vastra. She took her wife's shoulders and forced her to face her. "_Don't _go looking for him. _Please._"

"Jenny, I have to. I'm trying to catch him."

"Just… Just be careful, alright?"

"Jenny, I'm as careful as it comes." Vastra gently took Jenny's hands off her shoulders. "Don't worry."

"But…" Jenny bit her lip in thought. "He knows where we live."

"And he's known for a while now, and nothing has happened," Vastra countered. "We're fine. I'll be fine and you'll be fine."

"Don't worry."

Jenny went and sat back down, reluctant to take up her pose again.

"I feel like I have reason to worry."

* * *

The first stab was weak and the Doctor cursed himself when the woman let out a scream. He had hesitated and ruined his work. He slammed her against the wall of the alley and clamped his hand over her mouth. She kicked out at him and wriggled and screamed through his hand. He gave a growl of frustration, removed his hand, and quickly replaced it with his lips, knife finding her chest. He made sure not to hesitate this time. Why should he? She was meaningless. Worthless.

The Doctor's mouth swallowed her voice better than his hand had and he stabbed her again, loving the smell of the blood that began to trickle over and between his fingers. It was okay for him do this. Of course it was. It was okay for him to like the smell of blood, the taste of it. On Gallifrey, human was served as a special dish at celebrations. Why should he care about them so much?

He stabbed her again.

_That's right. I don't._

Finally, her body stopped moving. Her eyes met his, frantic, terrified. And then everything was just… gone. There was no soul left in them.

The Doctor let her body slump to the ground, breathing hard. He gave a smile as he panted. _Now _he was feeling better. _He _wasn't worthless. Every human was. Humanity was worthless, always had been and always would be. He could use them as his toys if he wanted. He was a Time Lord.

_There we go._

The Doctor wiped his knife clean on the woman's ripped dress. As he walked away, he realized that all this was because of Vastra. It was her fault that he had started killing again, but that wasn't a bad thing. He was feeling so much better already.

_Thank you, Vastra. I hit resume game. I've made my move. Now, what's yours? _


	19. Chapter 19

The Doctor was definitely one for poetry. He hadn't written in a long time, but this recent kill had inspired him. What an interesting game he was taking part in. He hadn't been so well amused in a very long time.

He put pen to paper, wishing that he hadn't run out of red ink. He liked that color. It was one of the main colors of his chapter on Gallifrey. It was the color of blood. Both were excellent. Both suited him. Some thought that blue was his favorite color just because that's what the color of the TARDIS was, but they were sorely wrong. Red. It had always been red.

He had _tried _writing in blood before, but it hadn't worked. He shouldn't have guessed that it wouldn't. He wasn't able to write fast enough and still make it legible. The blood would dry up and become unusable.

The Doctor smiled and laughed to himself as he wrote. These police were so stupid. Of course they wouldn't be able to find him. They had no idea how to do DNA tests. He was even surprised that Vastra hadn't caught him yet.

Certainly he had thought about that. What would happen if Vastra did catch him? It certainly wouldn't be the police. It would be the lizard woman that he sometimes called a friend?

_But is friend even an appropriate word?_

In the past, it had been, but the Doctor didn't feel that it was suitable right now. She had been able to help him in the past, and he had helped her, but now it felt like she was being cruel. She hadn't let him die. She had forced him to do things that he hadn't wanted to, and yet she said that she was trying to _help _him?

_Help me? _He laughed and signed his new name on the bottom of the page. _No one can help me. Do I even need it? Still, no one can help me. They don't know me. They don't know what I've been through._

The Doctor stood from the desk in the library, leaving the paper where it was, an envelope next to it. He would wait for it to dry and then deliver it later.

_And nobody even sees me._

It was fortunate that he didn't need as much sleep as humans. The middle of the night was so quiet and perfect, a wonderful setting for his activities. He wondered how long it would take the police to find this last body. He had killed her a little earlier than he was used to: one o'clock in the morning. Usually he waited till around two or three.

_Oh well. _

The Doctor looked back over at the paper. He was impatient for it to dry. He hoped the police, or at least _someone _would be impressed with this composition.

* * *

"Jenny! I'm going out!" Vastra called, tightening her sword belt over her shoulder. Her wife came rushing into the room at the announcement.

"Out? Where? It's late." She looked out the dark window just to make her point.

"Then if it's late, why haven't you gone to bed, yet?" Vastra asked. It was around two in the morning.

"Because, I was worried that you would go out again," Jenny responded, crossing her arms. "Like you did last night."

"And how did you find out about that?"

"I woke up in the middle of the night and you weren't there," Jenny explained. "What were you doing?"

"Going to check on the Doctor," Vastra explained. "I wanted to see if he was okay."

"And where are you going tonight?" Jenny looked worried, but also determined to keep her in the house.

"I just want to take a walk, is all," Vastra said. She came up to Jenny and leaned down to give her a soft kiss on the lips. "Just go to sleep. You look tired. I'll be alright."

"I would go to sleep if you stopped lying to me." The kiss hadn't helped deter her one bit.

"I'm not lying. Really." Vastra placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a reassuring look. "I only want to go for a walk."

"At two in the morning?"

"I got restless!" Vastra protested.

Jenny just shook her head. "Alright." She didn't sound like she believed her; she was just conceding the argument. "I'll go to bed. Wake me when you return." She turned and made her way down the hallway.

With a relieved sigh, Vastra left the house. She didn't want to waste anymore time arguing with Jenny. She needed to go see if anything had happened recently. It seemed that Jack the Ripper usually worked at night, and she was curious to see if he had struck again.

* * *

The night was cold and it felt like it was going to rain, maybe even snow. Maybe, the Doctor thought, he should have dressed warmer. It had gotten a lot chillier since he had gone out about two hours ago. At least he was on his way back to the TARDIS, where it would be nice and warm. The poem had been successfully delivered the the police station. He hoped that it would unnerve them that it was inside the station in the inspector's desk. That thought made him smile.

He was feeling pleased with himself and content, but for the next minute or so, he felt like he was being followed, but every time he looked over his shoulder, there was nobody there.

_You're just being paranoid. _The Doctor felt a chill. _That's because it's dark. Maybe I'm not being paranoid. _He stopped and turned around. Time to give whoever followed him a surprise.

There was a _swoosh _of air and suddenly there was a blade at his neck. The Doctor tilted his head up and away from it. There was a strong arm around his shoulders.

"Speak your business," a hissing female voice demanded.

"Vastra?"

The sword still didn't leave his neck. "What are you doing, Doctor?"

He forced Vastra away from him and turned to face her. "Taking a walk. What are you doing?"

"The same as you, if that's what it could be called." The lizard woman was only a silhouette.

The Doctor crossed his arms and tilted his head up, looking down his nose at her.

"What are you accusing me of?"

"Nothing, as long as you didn't do anything."

"And what about you?" The Doctor gestured to her weapon, still unsheathed. The blade was clean however.

Vastra sheathed her sword with a quiet growl. "Nothing. Just looking around. I want to see if anything happened."

"You mean a murder? That's what I'm looking for too."

The tension between the two of them felt suspicious.

"I thought you would be in your TARDIS. Weren't you busy with self-loathing?" Vastra's tone was hostile.

"No." The Doctor brushed past her, ready to leave now. This was dangerous, Vastra finding him in the middle of the night after _he _had committed the murder and left the letter.

"Search with me, will you?" Vastra asked.

"You don't need me," the Doctor said, still walking away. "You're senses are already enhanced."

"But so are yours."

The Doctor stopped and turned back to face her. Helping her would make him look less suspicious.

"Alright. I'll help you. Where have you looked so far?"

"I checked the neighborhoods around Paternoster Row," Vastra explained. "Wanted to make sure he didn't leave a body on my doorstep."

"I doubt he would do something like that. That would be careless."

"What makes you say that?" They began walking down the street, falling into step with each other. The Doctor shoved his hands in his coat pockets as if he was having a stroll in the park rather than looking for a murderer in the middle of the night. He nearly smiled to himself. It was amusing that Vastra was walking right next to who she was looking for and she had no idea.

"Well, if I were to commit a crime," the Doctor began explaining. "I don't think I would leave any evidence where the detective chasing me could easily find it."

"It's logical, I suppose," Vastra said with a bit of a shrug. "Whoever this is just seems to think that it's funny."

_That's because it is._

"A terrible thing that someone would think that way."

"Are you feeling better? I notice you're walking much easier," Vastra noted.

_I'm better because you haven't been around._

"Mostly. Still hurts somewhat to walk."

"Given by the fact that you're limping."

"Keen eyes you've got. I'm surprised you haven't caught Jack yet."

"I doubt that's his real name."

"Oh, so do I, but what else are we supposed to call him if that's the only name he's given?"

Vastra suddenly stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. She raised her head and sniffed the air.

"What is it?" the Doctor asked.

"You don't smell it?"

Though the Doctor already knew what her nose had picked up, he gave a sniff too just to convince her. There it was. Blood. Lovely. He tried not to let himself get lost in the smell.

"Blood," he said, looking to her. She said the same thing almost simultaneously.

He and Vastra followed the scent trail through the streets until they came to the alley where he had killed the woman and left her body.

_The moment of truth, _the Doctor thought. _Let's see how good your act is._

Vastra ran over to the body upon seeing it, kneeling down next to the woman and feeling for a pulse, even if it was absolutely hopeless. The Doctor chuckled mentally, wishing he could do so out loud.

"Is she dead?" he asked, coming over. Vastra's dark form nodded and she stood.

"She hasn't been dead for long," Vastra said. "Maybe only two or three hours. Do you think the killer could still be out here?"

"I'm pretty sure he's hightailed it home by now."

At this close proximity, the Doctor could see her frown. "I wonder when will the police will find her." Vastra shook her head in disappointment and made her down the alley, eyes intent on the ground. "He never leaves any evidence. Just blood and a body."

"What do you mean you wonder when the police will find it?" The Doctor feigned confusion. "Aren't you working on the case with them?"

"I was, but Jack sent a letter that threatened Jenny if I continued."

"That might just be something to scare you," the Doctor said. That was true. He would never hurt Jenny. He had just been trying to control Vastra. He didn't want the police involved with their little game.

"I'm not taking any chances. Jenny means to much."

"I know that she does. I'm sorry the way that I acted the other night. I shouldn't have done any of that."

"And I'm sorry, Doctor," Vastra said, turning to face him. "I was mean and cruel to you."

The Doctor just frowned and forced out: "It's forgiven." It really wasn't. Vastra's tension with him seemed to have dispersed. His still remained. He felt gravely insulted by her actions, but it would be best if he pretended to brush it aside.

"I should get back to, Jenny," Vastra announced. "And you'll head back to your TARDIS?"

The Doctor nodded. "And I won't speak to the police of this. I'll keep Jenny safe."

_But I don't have any promises for you._


	20. Chapter 20

"Jenny?"

Jenny broke her act of sleeping and rolled around to face her wife. She was beyond tired, but she hadn't been able to fall asleep since she left. She had wanted to make sure she came home safely.

"Hmm?"

"You weren't sleeping, were you?" Vastra sat down on the bed as Jenny opened her eyes.

"No, of course I wasn't. Why would I sleep when you went out in the middle of the night when there's a murderer on the loose?" She tried sitting up, but Vastra laid down and wrapped her arms around her.

"You're so sweet, Jenny." She kissed her on the cheek. "Sometimes I think that I don't measure up to you."

"You try your best," Jenny told her. "I still love you anyway." She shifted in the bed and pulled the blankets up so that Vastra could get in bed with her. "Did you find anything?"

The tone suddenly turned grave. Vastra nodded solemnly.

"Another murder?"

"Yes."

"And you didn't tell the police?"

"Of course I didn't tell them, Jenny!" Vastra seemed to find the question a shocking one. "I wouldn't do anything that could put you in harm's way!"

"What…?" What was Vastra talking about. She knew about the letter that told them not to work with the police, but what was this? "What do you mean?"

Vastra seemed to realize that she had slipped something out that she didn't want to say. Her eyes had gone a little wide.

"Well, um…" The lizard woman bit her lip, the action attractive despite the tone of the conversation. "The letter threatened to hurt you if I kept working with the police."

Jenny was shocked. "And not you?"

Vastra shook her head. "And I don't like that. It means that the murderer knows who we are, knows how we feel about each other. That's one reason I don't want you involved in it."

"Oh…" Jenny wasn't exactly sure how to react to this new information. The letter had threatened _her? _

"But who would knows us that well?" Jenny asked. "I'm certain that we don't know any psychopaths."

"We _do _have one as a butler," Vastra sugggested, but then she shook her head and laughed. "That's ridiculous though. Strax isn't capable of keeping a secret! Anyway, the evidence doesn't add up to be him. It's definitelya human."

"Are you… _sure _about that?" Jenny's thoughts went back to what had happened the other evening with the Doctor.

"What do you mean, dear?"

"When the Doctor was getting angry with us, he grabbed a knife," Jenny explained. "And he didn't seem to have realized that he did it. After that, he left in a panic."

"I _did _find him wandering around tonight," Vastra said, her tone one of realization.

"What was he doing, exactly?"

"He said he was looking for the killer."

"Do you think it could be him?"

Vastra thought for a bit, then shook her head. "I know him. I don't think he's capable of doing anything like that. "Besides, there's not much evidence that points to him. His clothes were clean and he didn't smell like blood when I saw him tonight."

"Vastra, are you forgetting the fact that he killed his entire race?" Jenny asked. Her voice had gone quiet. She was afraid at the possibility. She didn't understand how her wife didn't see it.

"Because he had no other _choice_," Vastra responded. She seemed determined to lead Jenny over to her side. "And it _destroyed _him. Death ruins him. I doubt he would do it on purpose. Besides, he doesn't even have a motive."

"But he doesn't have an alibi either," Jenny pointed out. "Not one that can be supported, anyway."

Vastra gave a sigh, and it sounded slightly like one of defeat.

"If it'll make you feel better, I'll monitor him as best as I can, and if his actions seem suspicious, we can talk to him." Vastra nodded in approval at her own idea. "How does that sound?"

Jenny let herself relax a little bit and she cuddled closer to her wife.

"That'll work." She yawned and cuddled her head into Vastra's shoulder. "What time is it?" she murmured.

"Around four," Vastra responded. "Go to sleep, dear."

"You go to sleep first."

"Why? Think I'm going to run off again?"

"No." Jenny held her tighter. "You just probably need it more than I do."

Vastra chuckled warmly and gently tilted Jenny's head towards her to give her a gentle kiss on the lips.

"Sweet dreams, love."

* * *

The _Doctor _certainly wasn't having sweet dreams. When he went to sleep, surprised that he felt exhaustion, all he could dream about was death and screaming and blood.

_Stupid mind, _he thought, taking an angry sip of his tea. _Stupid subconscious. Can't I dream about something nice?_

The Doctor was upset that he had had to sleep at all. If it was up to him, he would have the ability to never get tired and never have to sleep. His subconscious seemed to find it entertaining to torture him.

_It was probably the pain, _the Doctor reasoned, taking another sip of his tea. _Stupid._

When he was with Vastra, he had pretended that his legs didn't hurt as much, but the pain was still terrible. He was just trying to get through it. Doing normal, every day things would help with that.

He put the cup of tea down and laughed to himself.

_Because murder is a normal thing to do._

He laughed again, and soon he broke into a fit of laughter, leaning back in his chair and clutching his stomach. He just found it so _funny. _He couldn't wait to see the papers when they found out about this murder. He wondered if the poem would go to the newspapers or to Vastra. Maybe both. It would be interesting if it was made public. He thought it was a bit too graphic to be published in a newspaper.

_Oh well. Watch those idiots publish it anyway. They love a good story. I'm glad I can give them one._

The Doctor was in a much better mood as he finished his tea.


	21. Chapter 21

"Jenny, look at this!" Vastra shoved the newspaper urgently into her wife's hands. "He's written something else!"

Jenny gave an annoyed and slightly distressed groan. "I can't even finish breakfast without something bad happening." She put down her teacup and took the paper from Vastra. Her eyes went wide when she read it, gooseflesh creeping up over her skin.

_Eight little whores, with no hope of heaven,_

_Gladstone may save one, then there'll be seven._

_Seven little whores beggin' for a shilling,_

_One stays in Henage Court, then there's a killing._

_Six little whores, glad to be alive,_

_One sidles up to Jack, then there are five._

_Four and whore rhyme aright,_

_So do three and me,_

_I'll set the town alight_

_Ere there are two._

_Two little whores, shivering with fright,_

_Seek a cosy doorway in the middle of the night._

_Jack's knife flashes, then there's but one,_

_And the last one's the ripest for Jack's idea of fun_.

_To you with love, Jack the Ripper_

"This is…" Jenny slowly placed the newspaper down next to her plate. Her hands were shaking a little. "This is atrocious."

Vastra gave a hiss and stood. "I want him to be dead!" She began pacing.

_And we're going to need a new carpet, _Jenny thought. Her wife would no doubt wear it down.

"But how can we catch him if he never leaves any evidence?" Jenny asked.

"I don't know!" Vastra threw up her hands in frustration. "But we have to find him somehow! I'm growing tired of this!"

"As am I, but getting worked up isn't going to do anything," Jenny said, standing and stopping Vastra in her pacing. "You were the one who told me that anger clouds your judgement."

"It does," Vastra admitted, her voice calmer. "I just…" She looked so hopeless and that made Jenny sad. She'd never seen her hopeless before. "I don't know what to do, Jenny. Women keep dying and I can't even find who's doing it!"

"That's not your fault." Jenny rubbed her arms, trying to reassure her.

"I know…" Vastra went and sat down at the dining table, crossing her legs. "I'm just at a loss. It seems like we're never going to find him."

"Do you want me to help you look?" Jenny asked helpfully.

Vastra shook her head. "What's the point? I've looked and _looked _and there's never enough for me to actually find him!"

"So… we have to wait again?"

"It seems to be that way."

* * *

"What was the point of you getting me out?" the man asked. "Who are you anyway?"

The Doctor whirled around and shoved him against the wall of a building and put a hand over his mouth. "Would you like to go back to prison?" The man's eyes held actual horror at this and he gave a subtle shake of his head. "Good. Then don't talk so loudly." The Doctor drew his hand away and wiped it on his trousers with a look of disgust. The man was filthy, but he needed him.

"Alright," he said in a whisper. "Who are you?"

The Doctor chuckled a little. "I don't even know your name and you think I'm going to tell you mine?"

"I'm Henry," the man said. "Now…" he prompted.

"Jack," he said casually, putting his hands in his pockets, wishing that he could go clean them.

Henry's eyes went wide and his jaw went slack. He managed to clear his throat and make himself look a little more intelligent before speaking. "Like… _the _Jack? Jack the Ripper?"

"No, don't be ridiculous!"

"But you said your name was Jack…" Now he looked confused.

_No wonder he's a criminal. Doesn't even know how to think. Probably didn't go to school and ended up stealing things instead. _The Doctor was beginning to wonder if he had broken out the wrong man.

"Jack's a common name," the Doctor explained.

"But…"

"Stop being daft!" the Doctor hissed. The man looked down at his feet at that. He scraped the tip of one shoe in the mud.

"So… why'd you break me out?"

"I need you to do something for me."

"Why would I do something for you? I don't even know who you are." Henry was looking at him again.

"Because…" The Doctor pulled a large amount of money out of his coat pocket. Henry's eyes lit up and he reached for it. The Doctor quickly pulled it away and shook a finger at him. "_No_. You get this after."

"After I do what? What would a classy-looking gentleman like yourself want with me?"

"I need you to kill someone for me."

"But I don't want to go back to prison! I just told you that!"

"And you won't. I'll take care of everything."

Henry laughed. "A man like you in prison? I can't picture that you'll live through a day."

"Oh, I will," the Doctor told him with a smirk. He'd been in much worse prisons than the one here in London before. Besides, he wasn't going to get caught. "But only if I get caught."

"You've got a lot of confidence," Henry noted. "Who do you want me to kill?"

"It's a woman," the Doctor said. "She knows some of my secrets and she's blackmailing me for large sums of money. I want her gone." He slipped the money back into his pocket, Henry watching it the whole time. He pulled out a paper that he had written all the woman's information on. Henry took it and looked it over.

"Mary Kelly? Doesn't sound like a blackmailer to me."

"That's the thing," the Doctor said. "You can't trust women."

"No kidding." Henry looked the paper over for a little longer and shoved it in the pocket of his grubby coat. "I'll get on it as soon as I can. Where should I meet you for the money?"

"Right here should do," the Doctor replied.

"Alright. Thank you, sir." Henry gave a gesture as if he was tipping a hat. "And don't worry. I won't let a classy gentlemen like you get his hands dirty."

"Be careful not to get caught," the Doctor said. "The jailers have probably discovered you missing by now."

"I'll be fine, sir." He gave another 'thank you,' eyes on the pocket that held the money. Then he left.

_Idiot, _the Doctor thought, patting the pocket with the money. All he had to do was flash a few dollars and people would be begging at his feet. Speaking of begging… Well, he had something else to use the money for. That man was never going to get it. He just needed him so that Vastra would be led off his trail.

_Time to go have some fun._

His hands in his pockets, the Doctor left the alley.


	22. Chapter 22

The answer to Vastra and Jenny's dilemma came a few days later, in the form of a letter. Jenny was, however, refusing to look at it.

"I swear, it's good!" Vastra said, shoving the paper in front of Jenny's face for the twelfth time. "Just read it!"

Jenny turned away from her again.

"It's not possible for anything from that man to be good," she stated stubbornly. "Just read it yourself."

"I already have. I think you should too." Vastra shook the paper. "It's good news!"

"Fine!" Jenny whirled around and grabbed the paper, eyes quickly scanning it.

"This…" She lowered her hands. "This _is _good news! Was it delivered to you or the police?"

"The police," Vastra answered. "But I told them I was no longer looking into the case. They gave it to me anyway."

"They believed you?" Jenny's eyebrows went up her forehead. "_I _wouldn't if you said such a thing."

"Neither would I, but they didn't question it. They just seemed confused."

"Well then, what are we going to do about it?" Jenny shook the paper that had the address on it. Jack had given them an _address!_

"It's most likely a trap," Vastra said. "Maybe he finally wants a confrontation."

"It seems to be that way," Jenny agreed. She frowned at the thought that it was a trap. It had to be, but it was the best chance they would get to catch him.

"We'll have to be ready for anything."

Jenny sat down, legs going shaky, suddenly realizing what all this was.

"Vastra, I'm…" She took a deep breath to calm herself. "I'm not so sure that I can do this."

"Why ever not?" Vastra asked, standing and stepping towards her. She knelt down in front of her chair so that she could be at eye level with her. "We'll get a chance to get rid of this man."

"I know, b-but what if something happens?" Jenny felt terrified tears in her eyes. "I don't want anything bad to happen."

"I'll be fine, Jenny." Vastra rubbed her hands reassuringly on her thighs.

"I-I know. It's me I'm worried about," Jenny admitted. "What if I freeze up or something? What if I do something wrong and h-he gets me?"

"I won't let that happen, because you don't have to go."

"It's so confusing!" Jenny cried. "I want to help at the same time!"

"It's alright. You don't have to." Vastra gave a an assuring smile. "I can take care of him on my own."

"Will Strax be going with you?" Jenny had to admit to herself that she would feel better if her wife had at least _some _help.

Vastra shook her head. "I'm also wondering if this is some sort of trick for him to get me out of the way so that he can get to you. What if I show up and there's nobody there?"

"You mean, you think he'll come here?" Jenny felt like her throat was closing up.

_Oh god, I'm such a coward! _She told herself. _Such a stupid coward! Why can't I do this?! _She felt ashamed at all this, at the way she was so afraid, but there was no way that she could make her fears better. Facing them could make them worse.

"Possibly. That's why I'm going to bring you somewhere else before I go find him."

"Which is when?" Jenny asked after taking a deep breath. Her throat ached. "When will you be leaving?"

"As soon as I can." She rose, but Jenny took her hands before she could pull back.

"Can we… do something first?" Jenny asked tentatively, standing. "Just in case something happens?"

"Jenny, nothing's going to happen."

"I know, but… just in case." Jenny looked up at Vastra with pleading dark eyes.

"Of course, sweetheart."

Jenny smiled and stood on her tiptoes to kiss Vastra on the lips, hands slipping around her waist. Vastra leaned down and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her close.

"Maybe we should go to our bedroom," Vastra murmured, pulling away slightly. "Wouldn't want Strax walking in on us."

"No, that would be horrifying." Jenny gave Vastra another kiss on the lips and then took her hand. Together, they made their way to the bedroom.

* * *

"Vastra, I don't know why I'm so scared," Jenny said, stroking a hand over her wife's face.

"It makes perfect sense for you to be scared," Vastra said, seeming a little confused by Jenny's words. The two of them lay in bed together, spent from having shown each other their passion. "What he's done to all these poor women nearly happened to you."

"But I can't help feeling ashamed of my fear," Jenny said, hand stilling on Vastra's face. She still marveled at how smooth her scales were, how different they were from human skin, but he didn't care. The fact that her wife wasn't human made her all the more beautiful. "You need my help and I cannot give it to you."

"Jenny, I already told you that I can take care of this on my own. You can stop worrying about me."

Jenny gave a little smile. "I'm your wife. I'll never stop worrying about you."

Vastra laughed, the sound light and beautiful. She took Jenny's hand and stroked her fingers. "You know, I never actually imagined myself getting married. I thought I would be a warrior for the rest of my life, and that my only company would be my sisters."

"That sounds sad though," Jenny said. Was that how Vastra had seen her life? What had the world been like when she was younger? It was so hard to imagine Earth differently than it was today.

"It wasn't sad to me," Vastra said. "My sisters and I, we were all the best of friends. We did everything together, hunted, fought, ate, slept… They were good times."

"Were there other Silurians?" Jenny asked, curious.

"Oh, of course there were," Vastra answered, giving Jenny's hand a squeeze. "There were so many of us, separated into different tribes. There were many disputes between us, actually."

"And why did you put yourselves into Cryo-Sleep?" Jenny asked.

Vastra's brow furrowed at the question. "Actually, I can't quite recall. Something was wrong. I at least know that?"

"Was it because of the same disaster that wiped out the dinosaurs?" Jenny suggested.

"Most likely. My memories of those days can be foggy sometimes."

"What was it like?" Jenny asked. "What did the world look like?"

"Oh, so much greener than it is today," Vastra said. She got a far off look in her eyes and there was a sad smile on her lips. "The trees were different, so big and luscious. _Everything _was big back then. All the plants. There were so many colors, so much life…" Her voice sounded sad. "I miss it. I can't believe how much humans have changed this world." Her voice held distaste.

"Not everything we did was bad, you know," Jenny said, stroking her thumb over the back of Vastra's hand. Her wife sounded so sad.

"Don't include yourself as one of them," Vastra said, eyes going back to her. "You're so much more than that."

"I-I am?" Jenny wasn't exactly sure how she could be. She was a human just like everybody else.

"Yes." Vastra leaned close, her lips a mere inch from hers. "You're beautiful, inside and out. You can accept things that others can't and see the beauty in them. You can accept _me _and love me. And for that, you're more than just a human." She kissed her softly and Jenny clutched her hand tightly. She breathed a contented sigh when Vastra pulled away.

"I didn't know that's how you thought of me."

"Of course I separate you from the rest of them," Vastra said. She released her hand and stroked her face, her touch cool. "I love you."

"How _did _you fall in love with me?" Jenny asked. "If you found humans so unlikable?"

"I'm not sure," Vastra admitted. "There's something about you that I can't get enough of. Well, it could just be _you _that I can't get enough of."

Jenny giggled as Vastra came close and kissed her neck, the sensation tickling her skin.

"When do you think you'll leave?" she asked.

Vastra's lips stilled on her neck. "Do we have to talk about this now?"

"When are we going to talk about it if not now?" Jenny asked. She giggled again as Vastra's lips resumed their work.

"Later."

"And when's later?" She couldn't hold in more giggles. She was just so ticklish there!

"How about after we've had each other again?" Vastra asked. She had her head over Jenny's heart, her eyes closed in contentment. Jenny knew that her wife was listening to the beat of her heart and the flow of blood in her body.

"Sounds like a plan to me."


	23. Chapter 23

The Doctor looked at the letter he had written again. He had made multiple copies of it: one to give to the police, a few to give to different newspapers, and one to give to Vastra.

_What fools the police are. I even give them the name of the street where I am living. Prince William Street._

He smiled at the fact that it would insult them. He actually _had _given them that address before, but they hadn't been able to figure it out. He had drawn it with chalk on a wall in code, early on in this little game. They had found the body of the woman he had killed, and the writing, but they hadn't been able to decode either one.

_Because I'm smarter than all of you. _

The Doctor wasn't actually quite sure what he was going to do when everybody got there. It would be chaos - he knew that - but he hadn't actually made a plan. He was improvising with this one, to see what would happen. Would anybody even take the bait? They most likely knew it was a trap.

And then, the Doctor got an idea.

_Why don't I leave them another body to look at it? Yes, that's a good idea._

Content with this, the Doctor left the TARDIS. It was time to go take care of business.

* * *

"We can go to my house, if you like," the Doctor offered. He'd successfully found his next victim: a naive-seeming woman in her thirties named Susan. It had been easy to spot her at the cafe he had gone to. She had just been sitting alone and sipping tea.

"That seems a bit indecent, sir," Susan said. "Are you suggesting-"

"You do a very good job of hiding your promiscuity," the Doctor interrupted. "But not from me."

Susan's dark eyebrows went up. "Is this how you try to woo women?" Her voice sounded a tad incredulous. "By convincing them that they're improper?"

"I don't exactly see what's improper about it all," the Doctor said, leaning close over the table, knees brushing hers. "Almost everybody does it."

Susan _humphed. _"And what gives you the idea that I would want to do it with you?"

"The way you've been staring at me throughout our conversation," the Doctor answered. Susan's aloof nature seemed to lower a bit in defeat.

"Alright, you've figured me out." Susan looked down into her teacup. "I certainly hope I haven't embarrassed you, sir."

"Embarrassed me?" The Doctor straightened in his chair. "No, of course not! Like I said, we can go back to my house."

"Alright, but…" Susan's gaze went back to him. "I don't even know you're name."

"I'm John," he said. She would get too suspicious if he gave her the name Jack. People were wary of men with that name now.

_And it's all because of me._

"Where do you live, John?" She gave him a bit of a smile.

"52, Prince William Street."

Susan's eyes suddenly went wide. "No, we can't go there!"

"Why not?" The Doctor feigned confusion.

"Haven't you read the papers?" Susan asked him. "Jack the Ripper says he lives there."

"Oh, come on, darling, you can't really believe that." The Doctor leaned over the table and took her hand.

_Come on. I have to win her over._

"What do you mean?" Susan looked a little bit insulted. "Are you calling me daft?"

"No, no, of course not. I'm just saying that Jack couldn't _possibly _live there."

"And why is that?"

"If you were a murderer, would you give the police your real address?" the Doctor asked. He had to make her see his point.

Susan thought for a bit before responding. "No, I wouldn't. So, it's most likely a trap?"

The Doctor nodded and inwardly smirked. "And I think the police may fall for it."

"Well, the letter did call them stupid," Susan agreed. "But we still can't go there. The police will be searching every house."

"Only come nightfall, I expect," the Doctor said. "They would want to surprise him rather than catch him in broad daylight."

"You seem to know a lot about this sort of thing."

"Oh, I'm just a logical thinker is all," the Doctor responded. He was glad that he seemed to be quelling her nerves. "Would you like to finish your tea?"

Susan shook her head, dark hair swishing over her shoulders. "Wouldn't want the police to walk in on us, now would we?"

"No, of course not."

* * *

_I love the stupidity of humans, _the Doctor thought as he unbuttoned Susan's dress. _They let me do anything I want to them._

The Doctor almost laughed. He remembered all the times that he had made people think he was asexual, but that was just a joke really. Also, it would be so much easier to say goodbye to companions if he tried not to get attracted to them.

_Silly humans. Think I don't like sex._

He slid Susan's dress off of her and he was left with what looked to be five pounds of undergarments. He wondered how women wore these kinds of things.

_My little toys, _he thought, stroking a hand over Susan's cheek.

"What did you say?" she asked.

_Oops, I said that last one out loud. _

"Oh, nothing. Just talking to myself," he replied quickly, Susan's hands going to his waistcoat. She began to unbutton it.

"You're not undressed all the way," the Doctor protested, trying to grab her hands. Susan avoided his attempts and continued with his waistcoat. She pulled it off of him and threw it to the floor of the bedroom.

"Oh, but that would hardly be fair," she said, running her hands over his chest before going to the laces of his shirt.

"Alright then." He gripped her shoulders as she unbuttoned his shirt, running his hands up and down her arms. He was getting excited already.

_Mmm… Sex and blood. Which do I like more?_

The Doctor decided that he didn't have to choose. He was getting both.

_And both will make me feel better. What a fun game I'm playing._

* * *

Susan gave a fierce cry as the Doctor bucked into her and he moaned in pleasure. He was laughing in his head at the same time however.

_Humans. Silly little humans. Let me use them for my toys._

It was at this point that the Doctor almost felt bad that he was going to break this precious doll of his. She was so pretty and what she was doing for him was so good.

_Oh well. She'll have to go anyway. I'll feel better once I have my knife in her._

The knife was in the drawer of the nightstand beside the bed. He'd bought this house and furnished it for the purpose of having one just in case someone asked where he lived. It was perfect for this too.

The Doctor silenced Susan's pleased cries with his lips, loving the vibration of her voice in his mouth. He drew a sharp intake of breath through his nose as her nails raked at his back. He got a little nervous as she neared his shoulders, but then her hands went back down again. His left shoulder had a highly sensitive nerve cluster, and it would ruin a lot of things if she managed to find it.

He slowly reached over to the nightstand and pulled open the drawer. Susan was too preoccupied with him to realize what he was doing. He fumbled around a bit until he found the knife.

_Time to say goodbye, sweetheart._

The Doctor slid the knife under her chin, still rocking in and out of her, teeth gritted as he tried to endure the pleasure he was feeling. Susan reacted by pulling her head back and looking at him with wide eyes. But then, she did something unexpected.

She giggled.

"Are you going to kill me?" she joked. "Or are you just very kinky?"

_Oh, this will add to the fun, _the Doctor realized.

"You could call me kinky," he said, sliding the knife gently over her skin, careful not to cut her. He gasped at the way she rolled her hips underneath him, nearly losing his grip on the knife.

"Oh, I could? What are you going to do with that knife then?"

_Time for the kill._

"This." The Doctor suddenly took the knife and stabbed it into her chest. He expected a scream, but all that came out of Susan's mouth was a gasp. She looked at him with wide, pain-filled and terrified eyes. It didn't seem like she could find her breath.

"Now, _this _is kinky, wouldn't you say, sweetheart?" the Doctor asked, riding her hard, his hand tight on the handle of the knife.

Susan's eyes flitted from his face to the knife, and then she went absolutely still. The Doctor breathed in the thick scent of her blood, eyes closed. He gave a low moan of satisfaction.

_This is the most fun game I've ever played. _


	24. Chapter 24

Vastra made sure to leave the house sometime in the late afternoon. It would be better to find Prince William Street before dark. That's what time the police would most likely be there. They would want to catch Jack the Ripper by surprise.

_The police really are stupid sometimes, _she thought, actually agreeing with the letter. _They think they are going to have the upper hand._

She felt like it was stupid to go to Prince William Street, but she _needed _to see this man. He was taking advantage of her as well, using her curiosity and determination to draw her in.

_Don't let him trick you. _

Vastra wasn't taking any chances. She had both of her swords with her and was wearing some armor under her dress. She had sent Jenny and Strax to an inn to lay low while things played out. It wouldn't be good if he had just used this to get to Jenny somehow.

_Well, if that was his plan, he's going to find Paternoster Row empty._

Prince William Street wasn't too hard for Vastra to find - she knew her way around London pretty well. She arrived there as the sun grazed the tops of the buildings, casting an orange glow on everything. The street was silent and empty, which was to be expected. When something bad happened in London, either everyone flocked to it or everybody ran. In this occasion, people had run.

_Now for the tedious part._

Breathing a sigh, hand cautiously on the hilt of one sword, she went up to the first house. She tried the knob, finding it locked, but some quick work with a hairpin quickly changed that. She carefully entered, looking all around her, hand gripping her sword tightly. The floorboards creaked underfoot and the sound made her nervous. If he was here, he would definitely know that she was.

Vastra did a careful check of the house, but found nobody inside. Apparently the residents had left out of fear.

_Of course. What else are humans going to do?_

Vastra left the house and went to the next one, going over the same routine and once again finding it empty. The deserted nature of this place was starting to put her on edge. Was there really a man in one of these houses, just waiting? The thought sent a chill up her spine.

Each house she tried was empty, but she knew there was something wrong as soon as she stepped into Number 52. The air was sharp, the scent of blood cutting through the scents of dust and mold. Something had happened here.

There was another scent too, a strange one. It was difficult to pick out and identify, especially with the blood so thickly clouding everything.

_Alright, so this is the house._

Vastra drew her swords, one each hand. Each step she took was careful and taut. She would be ready to fight at a moment's notice.

She checked every room on the bottom floor, but they were all empty. She quietly made her way up the stairs, the scent of blood growing stronger with each step. She was starting to feel a bit sick, actually - not necessarily from the smell, but the thought of what caused it. Vastra had to admit that she liked human blood, but when it was no doubt left out because someone had been killed, she couldn't stand it.

Vastra found the body in a bedroom on the next floor. The woman lay naked on the bed, a gaping hole in her chest, eyes wide with horror, fingers curled as if she had been pleadingly gripping the man who had killed her.

She gave a hiss of disgust and went over to the body. How could anyone do this? What was the motive? What was he trying to accomplish?

_Absolutely nothing, _she reminded herself. _He's a lunatic playing a game._

"Hello?" a voice came from downstairs. Vastra spun around and faced the door, swords ready.

"Hello?" She heard someone quickly ascending the steps. "Is anybody there?" She recognized it as the Doctor's voice and she lowered her swords, going out into the hall, to find him standing there and looking around.

"In here," Vastra said quietly. The Doctor leapt in surprise at her voice and smoothed down his coat, trying to make it look like he hadn't been startled.

"Who?" he asked, coming over. He peered over her shoulder and into the room. His face went white when he saw the body on the bed.

"Where is he?!" the Doctor shouted. He began pacing up and down the hallway. "I'm going to kill him! Where is he?!"

"Doctor, quiet! He might still be here!"

_Why is this man acting like an idiot? _Vastra questioned. _Unless he's just trying to get the killer's attention and draw him to us._

"That's what I'm counting on," he responded. "Jack! _Oh, _Jack! Jack the Ripper! Come out and play!"

"Doctor, stop it!" Vastra rushed out into the hallway, grabbed the Doctor by the arm, and tugged him back into the room, closing the door behind her. "Don't encourage him!" she hissed.

"Why not?" the Doctor asked, shaking her hand off of him. "I thought you wanted to find him and kill him too."

"I do, but inviting him to play at his own game isn't going to be the way to do it," Vastra explained. "He'll win that way."

"You're so sure that he's focused on winning and losing?" the Doctor asked.

"But what is this, if not the endgame?" Vastra reasoned. "There has to be _some _sort of conclusion."

"You're right," the Doctor said. He seemed reluctant to admit it. "Let's search the house."

"Or," Vastra began, "we could leave and wait for him to come out. He can't stay in here forever."

"But he could escape without either one of us noticing," the Doctor argued. "If you're so picky about it, I'll search the house. You stay here." He started to leave, but Vastra grabbed him again.

"Doctor, you're unarmed!"

"Then give me one of your swords," he told her, turning to face her again.

"Um… You told me you didn't like weapons," Vastra said.

"Exactly why I'm unarmed. I'll be back. Don't worry." He swooped in and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving the room.

Vastra put a hand to her cheek in shock, unsure of how to react. What was _that? _What could the Doctor possibly mean by such a gesture? Why had he done it?

Vastra wiped her face with her sleeve, now feeling a bit uncomfortable. She waited there for a few minutes, trying to think of something other than the fact that the Doctor had kissed her cheek. The Doctor hadn't returned yet. She breathed a frustrated sigh.

_And now I have to go find him. What has that man gotten himself into now?_

Vastra didn't find him anywhere on the second floor, so she decided to go to the attic. It was dark except for the faint light spilling in from the window, but she could see just fine anyway. Sitting in a chair, well tied to it, in the middle of the floor, was the Doctor. He had a gag over his mouth and he was looking at her with wide, terrified eyes.

She ran up to him and did a survey of the room. Who were those dark corners hiding?

"Vastra, so glad you could make it," came a deep voice from one side of the room. She twirled towards it, swords held at the ready. "I was hoping I would get to meet you and not those stupid police."


	25. Chapter 25

"Where are you?" Vastra demanded. "Come out, coward!"

"Calling me a coward?" There was shuffling sound and Vastra spotted movement out of the corner of her eye. She turned towards it.

"Yes, I am, actually. I thought you wanted a confrontation, but obviously not. I would see your face."

"But I only wanted to see yours. See if it was worth killing."

"And what have you decided?" She was awfully surprised that this man wasn't in a state of shock over the fact that she wasn't human. Had he somehow already known what she looked like? Was it possible that they had even _met _before? She had to admit that the voice did sound somewhat familiar. "Am I worthy of your collection of dead?"

"Well, we'll have to find out, won't we?" The voice was cool and it held a threat to it.

"Come out here!"

"You see, I'd rather not." There was more shuffling and more movement, and Vastra followed it as best as she could. Where was this man? She felt fear set deep inside of her, and it spread cold throughout her body. She was finally facing the murderer, but she couldn't even see him. she had walked right into his trap like a gullible idiot.

"And why is that?"

"Because from the dark and the shadows, I have power. Haven't you noticed? I kill at night."

"But you killed during the day this time," Vastra said, sliding in tones of disgust and hatred. "What is her name?"

"You think that names matter to me?"

"I know that they do."

"Alright then. Her name was Susan, if you want to know so badly. Have I satisfied your curiosity yet?"

Vastra hissed at the shadows, and it looked like one of them moved. She took a careful step forward, adjusting her grip on her swords.

"_No. _Who are you?"

"Jack the Ripper." The answer was stated simply.

"What's your _real _name?"

"Jack the Ripper."

"You called that a stage name," Vasra said. "Who are you, _really?_"

"I _am _Jack the Ripper. You really think I'm going to give up my true identity? What makes you think that you deserve that from me? Is it because you worked so hard?" His tone was mocking.

"Come _out!_" There was a _whoosh _of air and Vastra fell backwards to the floor as something heavy knocked her over. Once she was able to get her bearings and stand, the room seemed to be empty except for her and the Doctor. The door was rocking back and forth as if it had been used.

"Dammit!" Vastra began to run after him, but the Doctor made a muffled sound through his gag. She turned and quickly went back over to him, sheathing her swords. She untied the gag and then went to work on his bonds. It seemed like they would have to be cut. She drew one sword and asked: "What happened, Doctor?"

"I started looking up here and he jumped me," the Doctor explained. Vastra cut his hands loose and he pulled them in front of him, rubbing at his wrists. "His me in the head and the shoulders."

Vastra winced, knowing how sensitive his left shoulder was. A blow there would incapacitate him. No wonder she had found him up here like this.

"We have to go after him," she said, cutting his feet free. The Doctor stood and nodded. They hurriedly made their way out of the room and down the stairs.

"Do you think he's still in the house?" Vastra asked.

"I don't know."

"Did you see his face?"

The Doctor shook his head. "Got me from behind. I was mostly unconscious when he tied me up. Stupid shoulder. Wish I could get rid of it."

Vastra looked out a street-facing window in one room. It was quickly growing dark outside, but she could see a group of police out there, all armed.

"No!" she cried in despair. "Jack's going to think I brought them and he's going to go after Jenny!" Dread fell into the pit of her stomach and she ran out of the room and down the stairs to the first floor. The killer was definitely still in the house. He wouldn't have tried leaving with all those police out there.

"Jack!" she called. "I had nothing to do with the police, alright?"

"You didn't bring them here?" the voice responded. It seemed to be coming from the sitting room. She darted inside, swords at the ready.

"No, I didn't. If you get out of this alive, don't hurt Jenny. You have no reason to. I gave up working with the police. They came here after I did and I didn't even talk to them."

"I suppose I'll listen to you." The voice almost sounded bored. There was movement and Vastra didn't hesitate to jump at it, slashing with her swords. She banged into a wall and fell to the floor with a grunt, feeling embarrassed. She scrambled to her feet before the killer could get to her, getting into a fighting position. She couldn't believe how fast he could move!

"Where are you?"

"Over here, darling." The voice came from the other side of the room. Why couldn't she see him? She was starting to get irritated with this. How did he know how to trick her.

"Don't call me that!" she snapped. "Get over here and let's have a fair fight!"

"But it was never a fair fight," the voice said. "How can I make it fair now? You were always going to lose."

"Vastra! Where have you gone?" the Doctor called. He came into the sitting room and stopped, obviously sensing the presence in the room.

"You bastard!" he shouted. He leaped at one of the shadows, hands curled into fists.

"Doctor, watch out!" The shadow swiftly dodged and punched the Doctor in the ribs. He hit the floor with a grunt. Vastra darted over and swung her swords at the unidentified figure, but he kept moving out of the way, dodging every slash as if he knew what she was going to do before she had even moved.

There was suddenly a knock on the front door.

"Hello? Is anybody home?"

_Police! _Vastra dodged away from the man and crouched behind a couch. It wouldn't look good if the police found her there. She had claimed to have given up the case.

"I guess it's time to play hide-and-seek," the voice said. "Love that game. See you soon, Vastra. Tell the police hello for me." The shadow moved and she caught the man running up the stairs. He was in a longcoat, collar flipped up to hide his face, and a top hat that was pulled low.

The Doctor hid behind a couch as the front door was opened, and Vastra held her breath.

_Fantastic. This absolutely fantastic. Me, the Doctor, the killer, and police officers all in a house together. And we're all trying to hide from each other. Absolutely _terrific!

It was time to play hide-and-seek.


	26. Chapter 26

**I'm in the final stretch! Less than 5,000 words left! Finishing NaNoWriMo early! **

* * *

The police entered the house much more loudly than Vastra would have expected them to. It sounded like there were four of them, all splitting up to search different rooms. She wondered what would happen when they went upstairs, wondered which room the killer was hiding in.

_How am I going to get to him without being spotted?_

One of the policemen entered the sitting room, waving around a lantern that left a wavering pool of light over the floor. Vastra hadn't realized just had dark it had gotten.

With a shrug, the policeman left the sitting room and went to a different part of the house. Vastra waited a bit before slinking out of her hiding place. She met the Doctor in the middle of the room.

"What do we do?" she whispered.

"Do we leave?"

"That might be for the best," the Doctor said.

"But what if we don't get another chance to catch him?"

"You think the police are really that incompetent?" The Doctor raised his almost non-existent eyebrows at her.

"I know they are. Come on." She started towards the stairs, but the Doctor took hold of her arm.

"We should really go. I'm certain the police will handle it."

"Fine." Vastra shook the Doctor's hand off of her arm and turned towards the door. "Let's go."

She couldn't help feeling disappointed in herself as she left. She had gotten a chance to catch him, a really good chance, but she hadn't been able to. She hadn't even touched him! He moved too fast. No wonder he had been able to outrun her the night that she had spotted him.

With a sinking feeling in her chest, Vastra went to collect Jenny and Strax and take them home.

* * *

The Doctor hummed happily to himself as he made his way back to the TARDIS with a skip in his step. The night had gone better than he had expected. Vastra had been completely fooled and the police would be left with only a body. He was surprised that she hadn't detected the hallucinogenic gas he had put in the air - it had a certain scent to it. Maybe the scent of blood had drowned it out.

The gas had been much more effective than he had expected it to be. He thought that perhaps Vastra would only hear a voice, but the fact that she actually _saw_ someone… He laughed softly to himself.

_Didn't even know the real killer was standing right next to her. Good show, Doctor! _

The scent of blood hit the Doctor's nose and he wandered towards it. It was strong, freshly spilled. The victim was probably dead.

_Henry, did you finally do my work for me?_

The Doctor strolled into the alley that the smell emanated from, making it look like he didn't have any purpose but to walk. He found the body hidden behind a rubbish bin near the end of the alley. He instantly knew by the face that this was Henry's work. He had killed the right woman.

_Good job, man, _he thought as he examined the body. It didn't look the way that it would if he had killed her himself, but it was still a murder nonetheless. At this point, it didn't matter who had done it. Everyone suspected it would be the Ripper.

_And now you'll be waiting in that alley for money that you won't get. Vastra passes there on her way home. Goodbye, Henry._

With a joyous laugh, the Doctor skipped out of the alley.

* * *

Vastra went out again after bringing Jenny and Strax home. She had left Jenny to make dinner, telling her that she just needed to clear her head. She really did. The air felt so good after the stuffiness in that house, smelled so fresh: free of blood and whatever else that strange scent had been. It just felt so good to breathe the night air.

As she wandered around, she wondered if the police had managed to find Jack the Ripper in that house, or if he had hidden himself too well. She shivered at the thought that he had escaped and looked around cautiously. Passerby strayed far away from her, which she didn't mind. A woman in a veil made a suspicious figure in the night.

Something caught her nose as she rounded a corner, and it was the smell she was starting to become sick of.

_Never thought I would grow tired of smelling blood._

Vastra gripped the sword that she had concealed under her cloak and warily followed the smell. It became stronger with each step, and she knew that she was going in the right direction. She stopped at an alley and peered carefully around the corner. A man was standing alone against one wall, and the smell emanated from him.

_He could just be hurt, _she told herself. _You're looking for things that aren't there._

She took a long whiff and realized that he couldn't be hurt. The blood was too stale to be his own.

A smile spread her lips. Was this… him? Was this actually happening? Did she have Jack the Ripper in her grasp, ready to be caught unawares?

Vastra leaped into the alley, drawing her sword at the same instant. The man gave a cry of surprise as she grabbed him and shoved him against the wall, putting the sword to his throat.

"Who are you?!" she demanded in a whisper.

"Might be askin' you the same question." The voice was the same one that she had heard in the house on Prince William Street. It struck a vein of disbelief in Vastra. This man, this _killer _was at her mercy. He couldn't do anything to save his life.

"Oh, you know who I am," she said. "Madame Vastra." She pushed the sword a little harder against his throat, drawing a drop of blood. "Who are you?!"

"My name's Henry."

"And?"

"And what? That's my name? What're you doing here anyway?" His frightened eyes glanced down at her blade. "Could you get your sword away from my neck, please?"

"Oh, give it up! I know that you're a murderer!"

"How did you know that it was me?" Henry's voice had gone quiet.

"Because of the way you smell, _Jack_," Vastra spat. "Finally slipped up. Should have taken the time to clean your clothes."

"Oh, I see what you're thinkin'! I-I'm not the Ripper. I swear I'm not."

"Enough of your lies. Now, should I take you to the police or kill you myself?"

"I think the police would be more merciful, Madame."

"So you've made your decision." Vastra ran the sword through his throat, blood dashing out at the movement. The man thrashed for a few seconds, hands attempting to go to his throat to stop his life from flowing out of him. Then, he went still and slumped against the wall of the alley, dead.

_Dead. _She'd done it! Jack the Ripper was dead!

Vastra would have whooped for joy if it wasn't completely undignified. Besides, she had other business to take care of. She was hungry and this body wasn't going to dispose of itself.

* * *

"Jack the Ripper has made his last kill!" Vastra announced as she entered Paternoster Row. Jenny appeared at the top of the stairs in an apron, face lit

"How did you find him?" Jenny asked in astonishment as Vastra was putting her sword back.

"Stringy, but delicious all the same." She looked to Jenny with a secretive smile. "I shan't be needing dinner."

"There's a matter that's arisen in the drawing room," Jenny said. Vastra then realized that it looked like she had been waiting for her.

"What is it?" Vastra made her way up the stairs to Jenny and into the drawing room. In one corner of the room sat a very familiar blue box and on one of the couches sat a very familiar man.

"Doctor, what are you doing here?" she asked in astonishment. He looked different somehow: younger. His eyes hadn't seen as much.

"I need your help," he said, rising. He was wearing his old tweed jacket. There was even a bow tie around his neck!

_But he hasn't dressed like that in ages._

"With what?"

"I need to get Amy," he said. "She got taken right from underneath my nose and i didn't even know it."

Vastra realized that this was a younger version of the Doctor, a version that still had Amy and Rory.

"But you know where she is?"

The Doctor nodded. "Demon's Run."


	27. Chapter 27

"So this is a younger version of the Doctor?" Jenny asked Vastra in clarification as the two were quickly changing in their bedroom. "That's why he still has Amy and Rory?"

"Well, he at least has Rory," Vastra responded. "But yes, that's true."

"Did he ever tell you about this?" Jenny asked, strapping on her sword belt.

"Demon's Run does sound familiar, but I think he only briefly mentioned it."

"Isn't there a poem about it?" Jenny asked. She swore she had heard _something _about this before. Any context would be helpful, especially when the Doctor was unknowingly crossing his own timeline.

"_Demons run when a good man goes to war_ _Night will fall and drown the sun_ _When a good man goes to war_ _Friendship dies and true love lies_ _Night will fall and the dark will rise_ _When a good man goes to war_ _Demons run, but count the cost_ _The battle's won, but the child is lost."_

Vastra recited this without even taking a breath.

"So there _is _a poem," Jenny said. "Do you think it's about him?"

Vastra snorted. "A good man goes to war. Doesn't sound like him."

"You're right," Jenny said. "No matter how hard he tries, the Doctor will never be a good man."

Vastra turned to Jenny, the both of them now finished changing, weapons ready as well. "We can't say anything about him, _present _or well, maybe it's the future…" She sighed at the confusion. "We can't tell the Doctor that he's here right now. We can't let slip _anything _about it, understood?"

"Understood," Jenny responded. It would be bad if the Doctor they were now going to help found out about this one, this scary, upset, angry one who had tried to commit suicide and who had lived in relative isolation for almost three hundred years. He was already crossing his timeline. It would be better if they didn't make it worse.

The two left the room and returned to the drawing room. The Doctor was standing against his TARDIS, tapping one foot anxiously. Strax was standing nearby, his butler's uniform exchanged for his armor.

"Strax, I told you, you're not coming," Vastra said in irritation.

"Actually, he is," the Doctor argued. "I'll need all the help I can get." His eyes flitted between Jenny and Vastra. "Are you two alright? Sure I wasn't interrupting anything of importance?"

"No, we're all set," Jenny responded, giving the Doctor a smile. "Let's go tackle that army."

* * *

Taking on the army at Demon's Run wasn't difficult at all, not like Jenny thought it would be. It turned out that the Doctor had recruited the help of other Silurians and numerous other races that owed him debts. And what he had done to get everyone to disarm themselves - He was clever! Watching all this though, Jenny wondered why Vastra hadn't suspected him more of being the killer. He had acted like a child while telling people to attack, like it was all a game, like everyone was just toys to him. It unnerved her, especially the way he smiled, like he was hiding something underneath.

"Don't you feel like that was too easy?" Jenny asked Vastra.

"I'll take easy any day, dear," Vastra replied. Her voice sounded tired. "I've had a long night."

"Do you really think that you caught him? Jack the Ripper?"

Vastra laughed at the question. "Jenny, I still taste him in my mouth! Why? Are you doubting my skill?"

Jenny shook her head. "No, not at all. I'm just wondering if we underestimated the Ripper."

"Turns out his name was Henry," Vastra said. She breathed a dreamy sigh. "Oh, it was lovely to kill him. If only you had been there."

"I'm alright, thanks." Jenny didn't really want to picture her wife eating a murderer. She tapped her foot a little bit. "He makes me nervous, Vastra."

"Who?"

"The Doctor. I don't like the way he talked to Madame Kovarian and Colonel Manton. I mean, I know they did bad things, but when he spoke, there was something in his voice that scared me." Jenny turned to Vastra as if for an explanation

"I'm sure it was just anger," Vastra said. "They took his best friend and her child." She looked towards the doors that he had exited out of not too long ago. "He is quite handsome for a human though, isn't he?"

Jenny couldn't help feeling a tinge of confusion and jealousy. "You do realize he's a man, don't you?"

"Oh, is he?" Vastra asked with a little teasing smile. She obviously knew, but she was now just trying to agitate Jenny a little. "Apes, you all look the same to me."

Jenny's face fell at that last comment and Vastra took on a concerned look. "I'm sorry. Was I being insensitive? I have _no_ idea why you put up with me." She turned her head towards where one of the guards had apparently regained consciousness and was dragging himself towards a weapon. Vastra's tongue flicked out across several feet to strike him on the neck. He once again went limp. Vastra then turned to her with a sly smile that Jenny returned.

_Just trying to entertain me, aren't you? _

"Stop teasing," Jenny said. "You're being insensitive on purpose."

"Am I?" Vastra raised her brow bones.

"Yes, you really are."

"Then I think maybe you'll just have to find a way to keep me quiet."

"Now's not a good time," Jenny answered, understanding that her wife wanted a kiss. "We shouldn't be so distracted."

Vastra frowned. "Alright."

"I think those two are probably going to be out for a while," Jenny said, nodding towards the unconscious guards on the floor. "We should go down and be with everybody else."

"Or maybe we should find where the Doctor's gone off to," Vastra suggested.

"Nope!" Jenny grabbed Vastra's hand and started marching her out of the room. "Not after you called him attractive! Let's go!"

* * *

Vastra couldn't help listening in on the Doctor's conversation with River. Everything had ended so badly. Madame Kovarian had left Amy with a fake child while she took the real one. They could be anywhere by now!

"This wasn't my fault!" the Doctor snapped. "I didn't want any of this!"

"But this was you." River was calm in the face of the Doctor's anger. "This was all you. You rose higher than you ever have and now you've fallen farther than you've ever fallen."

"People _died, _River! I didn't want that!"

"But this was _you! _And now they've taken a child. All this just to bring you down. The man that can turn an army around at the _mention _of his name."

"I didn't want this, River." The Doctor's voice was weak.

That was all Vastra needed to here. She felt suspicious of him now and suspicious of the possibility of failure. Was the Doctor capable of what she was suspecting him of?

_Only one way to find out, when we get to leave this place._

Vastra breathed a heavy sigh. A bad ending to a night that was much too long.


	28. Chapter 28

"No, no," the Doctor muttered to himself, blinking furiously. "Don't fall asleep. _Don't _fall asleep!"

It was odd that the Doctor seemed to be needing more sleep lately. Was it his body growing tired, still injured from his attempt to kill himself? Or was his subconscious willing him into sleep so that it could tell him something?

Whatever it was, the Doctor just didn't want to go to sleep. He didn't want anymore dreams. Dreams were torturous. Why did people have dreams? What was the point of them?

"Light!" he snapped at the TARDIS, jumping out of his chair beside the console. "More light!" The lights in the room suddenly intensified to the point where it was hurting his eyes and he could barely see, but maybe this enhanced sensory would keep him awake.

Or maybe not. His eyes quickly began to feel heavy again.

"I don't want to go to sleep!" he shouted at the ceiling. His voice echoed around the arches. "I don't want to! I haven't slept in a week! Why should I need it now?!"

The Doctor found himself slumping back into his chair, eyes beginning to slide shut.

"Music," he mumbled, still trying to fight the fatigue that was trying to overcome him. "Loud. Metal. Rock. Anything." Guitar burst through his speakers loud enough to hurt his eardrums and the sound jolted him out of his seat. Had he just been about to fall asleep? No, he couldn't have been.

The Doctor danced around the console to the painfully loud music, eyes still open to the searing lights. His energy was beginning to come back. Maybe he should get a cup of coffee and then go for a swim.

"How does that sound to you, hey, old girl?" he asked the TARDIS, even though his voice wasn't audible over the music. He patted the console fondly and everything went dead silent, the lights dimming. He lost his balance at the sudden change and ended up on his back on the floor.

"Hey? What happened?"

"You can't keep doing this to yourself."

The Doctor jumped to his feet at the sound of his own voice. Across the console from him stood an image of himself.

"Urgh, TARDIS interface," he mumbled. "I don't need to talk to you!"

"But you have been talking to me," the interface responded. "I thought it was due time I responded."

"What do you want?" the Doctor asked bitterly, looking over at the interface. Did he really look like that? So pale and rundown?

"For you to go to sleep."

"I don't need to."

"You are torturing yourself," the interface said.

"No I'm not!"

"Keeping oneself or others awake for prolonged periods of time through the overuse of sensory input is a form of torture." The interface's voice was very matter of fact.

"I don't care. I don't want to sleep."

"You need sleep." The voice was indifferent.

"Why can't you talk to me like you used to?!" the Doctor asked, kicking the TARDIS console, grunting at the painful impact in his foot. "You used to have a voice! What happened to it?"

"The technology in charge of my vocal functions was broken and you have not yet repaired it. This is my form of communication."

"Well, it's a rubbish way of talking." The Doctor sat back down in his chair and rubbed tiredly at his forehead. "And I don't even want to talk." He waved his hand. "Go away."

"Sleep."

"Why?"

"It's important."

"No, it's not," the Doctor said. "I've gone a whole year without sleep before."

"That was during the Time War."

"Don't bring that up."

"You brought it up first."

The Doctor sighed and leaned his head back against his chair, closing his eyes. "I don't want to sleep," he said. "Because when I do, I get nightmares."

"Are nightmares really so bad?" the interface asked.

"Yes! They are!" The Doctor snapped, sitting up straight in his chair. "How would you know? You're a machine! You've never had nightmares!"

The engines suddenly died and all the lights went out. The interface faded. Everything had shut off. The Doctor realized that he had offended the TARDIS, and that made him feel bad.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry," he repeated, louder this time. "I-I'll go to sleep. Will that make you happy? I'll go to my room and I'll go to sleep."

There was no response. The Doctor's shoulders and head slumped. "Or I could just sleep here. That would be good too." He sagged backwards in his chair and closed his eyes, realizing that maybe sleep wouldn't be such a bad thing. He was just _so _tired.

* * *

"_Why did you do it, Doctor?"_

"_Stop patronizing me, River!" he shouted, turning on his wife. "Just stop it!"_

"_I only want to know why you did it." River stood there in front of him, calm on the surface, but he knew that that wasn't how she felt on the inside. He scared her sometimes._

"_Did what? What did I do?"_

"_Why did you kill them?"_

"_I didn't kill anybody." What was River talking about? He hadn't killed anyone. Just the thought of it twisted his stomach. What made her think he had done such a thing?_

"_You did."_

"_No, I _didn't_, River. Gods! What is wrong with you?!" River flinched at his shout, but didn't say anything. The Doctor closed his eyes and muttered: "I didn't kill anyone."_

"_Then how do you explain where we are?"_

"_We're in my TARDIS, River." The Doctor opened his eyes to find that she was gone. The TARDIS was gone. Instead he was standing in a vast desert, the sky red above him. There didn't seem to be any sun, yet there was light, and heat like no other. He was already beginning to sweat. _

"_River?" The Doctor pulled off his jacket and began to unbutton his waistcoat. It was just so hot! He felt like he was being cooked in an oven._

_The air was silent and empty. He received no response. He tried again, louder._

"_River?!"_

_Still nothing. _

_The Doctor threw off his waistcoat and started to undo his shirt, looking at the ground beneath his feet. The sand felt wrong. And then all of a sudden it wasn't sand._

_The Doctor's jaw dropped when he found himself standing on a pile of bones. He couldn't move, didn't know how to. He had no voice. Looking all around him, he found that there were bones everywhere, spread out for miles, some piled up into piles that were hundreds of feet tall. He felt like he was going to be sick. And then he looked at the sky._

_Written in darker red on an already red sky were the words:_

YOU DID THIS

"_No, I didn't," the Doctor murmured. He looked all around him again, at the bones under his feet, then back up at the sky. "No I didn't!" He shouted defiantly._

_There was suddenly a strong gust of wind and the Doctor was swept off his feet. He landed in a pile of bones. He gave a frightened scream and tried to scramble up. The way those things touched him…_

_There were hands grabbing him, teeth gnawing, feet kicking. He screamed and screamed, and all the while the bones whispered:_

"Why did you do this? Why did you do this?"

* * *

Demons run when a good man goes to war Night will fall and drown the sun When a good man goes to war Friendship dies and true love lies Night will fall and the dark will rise When a good man goes to war

_Demon's run. And that's exactly what the Doctor was doing. Running for his life, running away from everything he had ever done._

_He had no idea how he had ended up here. Where was here? The Afterlife? Was that the reason that the Time Lords were currently chasing after him with scouts and armies?_

_The first words they had uttered when they had seen him had been:_

"Why did you do this?"

I don't know why, _the Doctor thought, tears streaming down his face. _I didn't know what to do! I thought it was the right thing to do!

Demons run when a good man goes to war

_That terrible chant followed the Doctor as he ran over hills and rocks. There was a forest ahead of him. The ground shook underneath billions of running feet._

Night will fall and drown the sun

And that's exactly what I did.

_The Doctor closed his eyes as he ran, not wanting to see anything in front of him. Did it really matter to him if he was caught? Maybe being caught would end all this misery._

When a good man goes to war.

And I'm not the good man who has gone to war.

_The Doctor wished desperately that it was. He wasn't a good man, but was anybody really a good man? Was it _possible _for a good man to go to war?_

Friendship dies and true love lies

_The Doctor's eyes flew open as he continued running, the wind against his face swiping away his tears. He was never going to win. They were going to catch them and would be left to the mercy that they didn't have._

That's because I killed them. I killed all of them.

Night will fall and the dark will rise.

_The Doctor knew that that line was talking about him. How could it not? He was dark and night and everything bad. He was not the good man who went to war. He was everything bad. He was the demon. _

_Yet for some reason, rather than turning around and impaling himself on those swords that he deserved to die on, he continued running. He couldn't stop. He had to run faster. Run far away from his crimes. Run to a place where he didn't feel._

* * *

The Doctor woke with a horrified scream and threw himself upwards, landing heavily against the console. Right. He had fallen asleep in his chair.

"I-I have to stop," he sobbed, clutching the console, almost wishing that it would do the same back. "I have to stop! I don't want to do this anymore! Oh, why did I do this?!"

He cried for what felt like hours, and when he finally ran out of tears, he wanted to kill himself.

"Don't be a coward," he muttered to himself. "Don't be a coward. You can live through this. Face your crimes. Admit to what you've done."

The only way to do that was to go confess. It was time to go visit Madame Vastra.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Ah... The ending... Now I can relax... I have finished my rampage and have successfully completed NaNoWriMo before the end of the month! 50,000 words baby! Take that!**

* * *

Madame Vastra was surprised when she found the Doctor at her door the next morning, but she hid it as best as she could and let him in.

"We've just finished breakfast," she said as she led him into the sitting room. "Would you like anything."

"No, I'm alright," the Doctor said, sitting down. He looked worried and distressed.

"Doctor is everything alright?" Vastra asked, sitting down across from him.

"Everything's fine. How are you and Jenny?"

"Alright. I, um…" Vastra smiled, trying to reassure herself. She _had _caught him! She had! "I caught Jack the Ripper!"

The Doctor's face brightened and he sat up straighter. "You did?! How? When? What…?" He seemed at a loss for words, out of both astonishment and excitement.

"I went out for a walk last night after bringing Strax and Jenny home," Vastra began explaining. "I found a man in an alley who smelled of blood and I knew that he had just committed murder."

"And you're sure it was Jack?"

Vastra hesitated a little before nodding her head. "And I killed him."

"You didn't inform the police?"

"And let him get away?" Vastra asked incredulously. "Heavens, no! I ate him so that no one would ever find his body! To the rest of the world, Jack the Ripper will have just mysteriously disappeared."

"Yes, I suppose that's how it will be." The Doctor now seemed troubled by something. He leaned on the armrest, eyes not focusing on hers.

"What's wrong, Doctor?"

"Just wondering what his name was," he muttered.

"He said it was Henry."

The Doctor gave a forced little chuckle. "Of course. How could his name not be so simple? I just… I just thought it would have more meaning to it."

"You mean like yours?"

The Doctor was broken out of his reverie by that and he shook his head. "No, not like that. It's just… It sounds so _normal. Henry._" He said the name with distaste. "Never liked that name. Never will now either."

"You're acting rather odd," Vastra noted, curious. "I thought you would be elated at the news."

"And I am," the Doctor said. "But something's still bothering me. How did you know that it was him? What if it was just another murderer and not really Jack the Ripper?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, because… I… er…" The Doctor trailed off and looked at the floor.

Vastra leaned forward in her chair, stomach twisting in anxiety. What was the Doctor not telling her?

"Doctor?"

"That's not my name." His voice had gone cold.

"Yes it is," Vastra said. "You told me it was."

"Yeah? Well, I changed it." He looked at her again, and his eyes glimmered with tears. "Vastra, help me. Please. I don't know what to do."

"Whatever do you mean?" She couldn't puzzle out what was going through the Doctor's head. What was he even talking about?

The Doctor shook his head and sniffled, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. "Nevermind. I-I shouldn't have bothered you with it." He stood to go.

Vastra stood as well, grabbing his wrist as he turned away from her.

"Doctor, what do you need to tell me?"

"N-Nothing," he stuttered. "Absolutely nothing. I should be leaving. I have things to attend to."

"Doctor, what things?"

"Nothing. Just let go of me."

"Doctor…"

"Let go of me!" The Doctor threw Vastra off of him and she stumbled back, surprised by this sudden show of violence. "I have to go!" He looked down at his feet and licked his lips. His voice was quieter when he spoke. "I'm sorry."

With that, he left.

* * *

"Oh, are you having anybody special over?" the florist asked as she handed the Doctor over the flowers that he had ordered a few hours ago. He had just wandered around London while waiting for them.

The Doctor took the two baskets and gave her a sad smile. "I wish I was. Thank you."

He left the shop and went out into the dank streets of London. It had rained on and off throughout the day.

Clutching the baskets of flowers tight, the Doctor made his way through the streets. He was given a few odd looks and also a few compliments. Most thought that he was going to see a woman. One person commented on the fact that he must have done something pretty bad to have need for that many flowers.

The Doctor felt weighed down when he reached his destination. He looked up at the gray sky and a tear trailed down his cheek.

_Stupid clouds. There should be sunlight._

He found a bench and sat, placing the baskets on the ground beside him. He pulled a piece of paper and a pen out of one of his pockets and began to write. He had had these words in his mind ever since his visit with Madame Vastra that morning. He knew exactly what he had to say, what he couldn't say face-to-face.

_I'm sorry. _

_I truly am._

_I didn't come here and see any of this happening. I didn't imagine that I would do these things. I didn't imagine that I would throw the city into terror._

_But the terror is over. And you can trust me. I know you haven't been able to trust me at all. But you can now. The terror is over. I'm done._

_Yes, I said it. I'm done. I'm done with my… game. I have no idea why I even called it that. Maybe it was a game. And it shouldn't have been. I would take it all back. Erase time. Oh, how I wish I could. I've played around with time, and I've played around with lives. It's time for me to be done playing._

_I'm not above any of you. I'm not below any of you. I may be different, but I am your equal, and I'm sorry that I have treated you otherwise._

_I want to apologize to the women that I killed. I want to apologize to their friends and family. I know these words, written on emotionless paper, will not mean anything to you, but they mean something to me. I am not as emotionless as this paper. Here I sit, writing and crying, and once again, I say sorry. I'm sorry. So, _so _sorry._

_My heart aches when I think of my crimes. It hurts so much that I want to rip it out. But I will not end it. I will not kill myself, because what better punishment than to live with this torment?_

_I'm sorry and I know you will never understand. I don't think I will either._

_I'm sorry._

_So sorry._

_I am sorry._

_Jack_

_The Doctor_

The Doctor read over what he had written and paused when he came to the end. Was he really going to do this? Was he really going to confess who he was?

_No. No, I can't._

He angrily scribbled out the last two words. No one would know who he was. No one would know that he was the Doctor.

_A name that I don't even deserve._

He sat on that bench for a time, swinging his legs and thinking. He almost felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest. He had confessed. Everyone would know, and everyone would know that he was sorry.

The Doctor sobbed as his guilt burrowed deep into his chest. He couldn't believe how much it hurt. Everything he had done. He put his hands over his face and cried.

"Sir?"

The Doctor looked up at the voice and tried to blink away his tears. He just ended up wiping his eyes with his sleeve. There was a man standing beside the bench, and with a start, he realized that it was the inspector from the Scotland Yard.

"Hello," the Doctor said hoarsely.

"Are you quite alright?" the inspector asked, taking a seat on the bench beside the Doctor.

"I'm in a cemetery," the Doctor replied. "O-Of course I'm not alright." He tried to swallow another sob, but it came out anyway.

The inspector looked down at the baskets of flowers. His smile was sad and understanding. "You must have lost someone very dear to you." He patted the Doctor on the thigh.

"I've lost so many that are dear to me," the Doctor said, closing his eyes. "So, so many. And I've gotten to the point -" He was interrupted by a sob, "where I don't know what to do anymore!"

"Sadly, we must keep living." The inspector looked up at the sky. "I wonder what it's like up there. Do they pity us from the Afterlife?"

"I often think they do," the Doctor said, directing his gaze to the gray, cloudy sky as well. "We're left here to live and suffer while they are free and able to rejoice."

"Life isn't all about suffering, dear boy," the inspector said. The Doctor cracked a smile at this. He could be this man's great-however-million-times-grandfather. "It may sometimes seem that way, but there is always light."

"What makes you say that?" the Doctor asked. "I thought you were caught up in the case with Jack the Ripper."

"Yes, well…" The inspector sighed. That letter with the address was a fake and we're back to where we started. Two more bodies and absolutely no evidence.

"I think there may be some evidence," the Doctor said.

"You think you've found something?" The inspector's eyes went wide and he leaned towards the Doctor. "What is it?"

"I-I found this stuck to the fence over there," the Doctor said, nodding his head towards the iron fence that surrounded the cemetery. The fence was wet, so at least that would make up for the tears on it. He handed the letter over to the inspector.

"What's this? Have you read it?" The Doctor nodded.

The inspector took the letter and read it over. His eyes went wide and he read it over again. And again.

"This is unbelievable!"

"You don't think it's real?"

"It _must _be real!" the inspector cried. He looked like he wanted to kiss the letter. "It's the same handwriting as all the other letters!" He turned excitedly to the Doctor. "Did you see anybody when you came here? Anybody who looked suspicious.

The Doctor shook his head. "It looked ready to blow away. I caught it just in time."

"Good thing you did. This… This has to be published to every newspaper!"

"Don't you think you're jumping ahead of yourself?" the Doctor asked.

"What do you mean?"

"What if it's a lie?"

"I don't think it's a lie." The inspector looked at the letter again. "What do you suppose that crossed out part at the bottom is?"

"His real name, perhaps? Maybe he wrote it and then decided he didn't want to reveal who he was."

The inspector frowned at this. "So the murders will stop but we won't have anyone to blame."

"Just blame the universe," the Doctor said. He stood and took the baskets of flowers, one in each hand. He was feeling better already. "I have to go deliver these."

"To whom, may I ask?"

"To the people who deserve it. To the people whose lives ended too short. To the people I need to apologize to."

With that, the Doctor walked off among the gravestones, the flowers a bright contrast to the setting all around him.

* * *

**A/N: Now, who wants to victory party with me? There will be beverages, freshly brewed from your tears. Thank you to _everyone _who read this! Thanks for sticking through a disturbing, twisted, and emotionally painful story! It was fun! Now, let's dance!**

**By the way, a lot of this is based off of the real Jack the Ripper case. All of the letters except for the one in this chapter were all supposedly written by him. And you know in the beginning when Vastra and Jenny were interrogating Aaron Kosminski? He was recently discovered to be the real Jack the Ripper. I felt like I had to base this off of actual events. Also, based on reports on people who saw him, "Jack" dressed the way that the Doctor was dressed in The Snowmen when he was hanging around Victorian London. This started getting me suspicious, so, this story happened! I hope you all liked it!**


End file.
